SRXXXIII: Engelbert Humperdinck, In Memoriam

Dio? Dio.

If you take away all the derp from Matt's post count then his count would be 0.

I may have to recycle some of those old Bern and Mike jokes.

Matt doesn't just post, he stares at his screen until the posts appear.

Guns don't kill people.  Matt's high post kills people from baffling their minds until they spontaneously combust.

Matt has two speeds. Sit, and Spam.

Matt does not sleep. He posts.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his computer chair for Matt.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to post on the same forum as Matt.

Matt posted to infinity... twice.

There is no infinity, the highest number is Matt's current post count.

We live in an expanding universe. All of this is caused by Matt's rising post count.

Don't ask what time it is to Matt cause there is only one time for him : Posting time.

When Matt bathes, he isn't wet. It's the water that is ashamed.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Matt's weight is his post count.

A study showed the leading causes of death in Michigan are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Matt's post count, 3. Cancer

Global warming is a possibility. Matt's post count will one day be so high the internet will overheat and the average Earth's temperature will raise by 5 degrees.

When is the only time that Matt isn't spamming? When the little anti-spam box pops up.

Humans appeared on Earth thousands of years ago. At that time, Matt was already a senior member.

On the seventh day, God did not rest. He was recovering from the shock of seeing how high Matt's post count had already gotten already.

The dinosaurs disappeared because Noah couldn't place them in his arch after he had gotten Matt and his post count in.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, they both spawned simultaneously out of Matt's monstrously high post count.

Matt's spamming is giving jobs to thousands of internet supervisors everyday.

If you spell Matt in a Scrabble game, you get an anti-spam error message.

Matt doesn't take showers. Computer screens can't take water.

Matt can quote a post that was in fact never written.

Some random guy once decided to donate a penny to an African children every time Matt would post something. That child is now known as Bill Gates.

Matt doesn't actually post, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

90% of the users on PA are in fact Matt with different user names.

If you Google search "Matt posting quality posts" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Matt's happiest day ever was when computer was invented. He could finally save time. Carving a post in stone is way longer than actually posting it on a forum.

Don't tell Matt to go outside. He'll probably get lost on his way.

Knock Knock Knock! Who's there? Certainly not Matt because he's home posting.

Matt's post count killed off the dodo bird - before the internet was even invented.

When Matt is under arrest, the policeman doesn't let him go off with a warning. He lets him go off with an anti-spam error box.

Matt sometimes posts at the speed of light, causing his post count to actually decrease.

The United States raised their "terror threat" level to red after Matt got 40,000 posts.

Matt doesn't use a computer mouse, he prefers his computer guinea pig.

Blargh! I want Basso's second album. I've only got Voci, and while that one is nice, the second one sounds more interesting. 

King By-Tor wrote: LinusW wrote: The Truth wrote: Hai shred.   Smells funny in here today. I pooped a little in a corner. SWEDES!

Yessir.

JJLehto wrote: 420 seems the perfect page to end this shred on.

Start another new one, see what people say.

King By-Tor wrote: your country is awesome. Let me in.

The door is open. Swing by and we'll have a barbecue.

LinusW wrote: Blargh! I want Basso's second album. I've only got Voci, and while that one is nice, the second one sounds more interesting.

More avant, isn't it?

James wrote: If you take away all the derp from Matt's post count then his count would be 0. I may have to recycle some of those old Bern and Mike jokes. Matt doesn't just post, he stares at his screen until the posts appear. Guns don't kill people.  Matt's high post kills people from baffling their minds until they spontaneously combust. Matt has two speeds. Sit, and Spam. Matt does not sleep. He posts. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his computer chair for Matt. Outer space exists because it's afraid to post on the same forum as Matt. Matt posted to infinity... twice. There is no infinity, the highest number is Matt's current post count. We live in an expanding universe. All of this is caused by Matt's rising post count. Don't ask what time it is to Matt cause there is only one time for him : Posting time. When Matt bathes, he isn't wet. It's the water that is ashamed. 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Matt's weight is his post count. A study showed the leading causes of death in Michigan are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Matt's post count, 3. Cancer Global warming is a possibility. Matt's post count will one day be so high the internet will overheat and the average Earth's temperature will raise by 5 degrees. When is the only time that Matt isn't spamming? When the little anti-spam box pops up. Humans appeared on Earth thousands of years ago. At that time, Matt was already a senior member. On the seventh day, God did not rest. He was recovering from the shock of seeing how high Matt's post count had already gotten already. The dinosaurs disappeared because Noah couldn't place them in his arch after he had gotten Matt and his post count in. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, they both spawned simultaneously out of Matt's monstrously high post count. Matt's spamming is giving jobs to thousands of internet supervisors everyday. If you spell Matt in a Scrabble game, you get an anti-spam error message. Matt doesn't take showers. Computer screens can't take water. Matt can quote a post that was in fact never written. Some random guy once decided to donate a penny to an African children every time Matt would post something. That child is now known as Bill Gates. Matt doesn't actually post, the words assemble themselves out of fear. 90% of the users on PA are in fact Matt with different user names. If you Google search "Matt posting quality posts" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. Matt's happiest day ever was when computer was invented. He could finally save time. Carving a post in stone is way longer than actually posting it on a forum. Don't tell Matt to go outside. He'll probably get lost on his way. Knock Knock Knock! Who's there? Certainly not Matt because he's home posting. Matt's post count killed off the dodo bird - before the internet was even invented. When Matt is under arrest, the policeman doesn't let him go off with a warning. He lets him go off with an anti-spam error box. Matt sometimes posts at the speed of light, causing his post count to actually decrease. The United States raised their "terror threat" level to red after Matt got 40,000 posts. Matt doesn't use a computer mouse, he prefers his computer guinea pig.

A Person wrote: LinusW wrote: Blargh! I want Basso's second album. I've only got Voci, and while that one is nice, the second one sounds more interesting.  More avant, isn't it?

Aye, that's what I gather.

I've actually got two Canadians in my class at the moment.