| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
Dan Bobrowski 
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5243
|
 Topic: Salute to Jaymz Lee
Posted: November 12 2004 at 12:42 |
Trouser Burp master, Jaymz Lee (I disguiesed the name to protect the innocent.) has claimed to be the worlds foremost flatulentologist. I'd like to share a few inspired pieces to celebrate Jaymz break through, or is it break out?
Anyway, here we go:
More:
And:
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
For all you need to know about the subject.
Hail Jaymz! 
We are not worthy.
|
 |
gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 3484
|
Posted: November 12 2004 at 14:22 |
I don't know about that. My room mate has one stinky arse. He constantly eats prunes and if you are a big prune eater you know exactly what I mean...Ewwww  . Perhaps he and James should have a fart showdown!!
|
|
James Lee
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 05 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3525
|
Posted: November 12 2004 at 15:35 |
|
Leading scientists have begun to suspect that the extinction of the dinosaurs was directly related to me eating an egg-salad sandwich in the 4th grade.
|
|
|
|
Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
|
Posted: November 13 2004 at 00:42 |
 James Lee wrote:
Leading scientists have begun to suspect that the extinction of the dinosaurs was directly related to me eating an egg-salad sandwich in the 4th grade. |
 AHA! So it was YOU who killed prog! 
|
|
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
|
|
James Lee
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 05 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3525
|
Posted: November 13 2004 at 07:27 |
Top 5 Classic Prog Albums influenced by my bowels:
In the Court of the Crimson Stink
The Lamb Lays Cable on Broadway
Smelling England by the Pound
Starship Pooper
Dark Side of my Underpants
|
|
|
|
Easy Livin
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: February 21 2004
Location: Scotland
Status: Offline
Points: 15585
|
Posted: November 13 2004 at 11:38 |
|
Not forgetting Soft Machine's "Turds"!
|
|
Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
|
Posted: November 13 2004 at 12:23 |
More real stinkers of prog:
Close to the Hedge
Stink Floyd - Puddle
Prawn Farts
The Bowel and the Slurry
Foxcrap
Rank Side of the Room
The Lamb Squats Down on Broadway
Bum Salad Injury 
The Final Plop
 Sorry!
Edited by Peter Rideout
|
|
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
|
|
James Lee
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 05 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3525
|
Posted: November 13 2004 at 14:54 |
Prawn Farts is my fav so far 
how small must those brown bubbles be?
|
|
|
|
Dan Bobrowski
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5243
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 17:04 |
|
Fart Football
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows
when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
"Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got,
and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."
|
|
Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004
Location: Sao Tome and Pr
Status: Offline
Points: 5187
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 17:05 |
|
|
|
|
|
gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 3484
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 17:06 |
|
|
|
James Lee
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 05 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3525
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 17:56 |
The family that farts together stays together.
|
|
|
|
Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004
Location: Sao Tome and Pr
Status: Offline
Points: 5187
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 18:04 |
Danbo's far too nice!
|
|
|
|
Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 20:52 |
Reed is a wonderful and nice kind -- earns respect!
Edited by Peter Rideout
|
|
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
|
|
Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
|
Posted: November 14 2004 at 23:51 |
James Lee wrote:
Top 5 Classic Prog Albums influenced by my bowels:
In the Court of the Crimson Stink
The Lamb Lays Cable on Broadway
Smelling England by the Pound
Starship Pooper
Dark Side of my Underpants
|
Ha!
And don't forget the Gentle Giant classic about the shaky old wino:
PEEHAND
Edited by Peter Rideout
|
|
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
|
|
Bryan
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: April 01 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3013
|
Posted: November 15 2004 at 00:19 |
|
|
|
Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
|
Posted: November 15 2004 at 07:13 |
It appears I may have a pretender to my (slightly rotted) throne.......
As a true British real ale drinker, ex-vegetarian (12 years under the lentil), and lover of all things spicy, I will not lay down, and allow some young upstart American to lead a coup against my rightful first place in the trouser cough pantheon.
There is only one thing for it - a duel; as the aggrieved party, the choice of weapons falls to me (I also get to stand upwind!):
Brussels sprout & cabbage curry, and cold pork & chutney sandwiches.
Mr Lee - I shall meet you on the field of honour at dawn!
|
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
|
|
sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
|
Posted: November 15 2004 at 07:42 |
In other news, scientists today announced a cure for all known diseases...
Great, super, that's all we have time for on 'How to do it'
Next week, we'll show you how to build a box girder bridge and how to get black and white people to live together in harmony...
|
|
I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
|
|
Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
|
Posted: November 15 2004 at 08:25 |
sigod wrote:
In other news, scientists today announced a cure for all known diseases...
Great, super, that's all we have time for on 'How to do it'
Next week, we'll show you how to build a box girder bridge and how to get black and white people to live together in harmony...
|
That's "peace and harmony," Sigod, you w**ker!
|
|
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
|
|
Dan Bobrowski
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5243
|
Posted: November 15 2004 at 10:21 |
I thought it was "peas and hominy?" 
|
|
Donate monthly and keep PA fast-loading and ad-free forever.
/PAlogo_v2.gif "Progarchives.com Homepage")
Salute to Jaymz Lee
