Off at Tangents: Waff at Argents!

I respect everyone's right to listen to s.h.i.t. music

Birds of a feather eat out the eyes of wayward travelers.

Football means 'sausage bakery' in America.

I zipped up my fly and said, "Gee, I don't recall the toilet."

The leader of an archaeological team who unearthed a fossilised bowl of primordial soup in 1974 claims they were forbidden by the greater scientific community from publishing their controversial results. Painstaking forensic research conducted over 18 months led the team to discover irrefutable proof that the very building blocks of life thought necessary to engender mankind's existence contained only nicotine, alcohol, caffeine and a rudimentary (burst) condom. Dr Jasper Formalde-Hyde who led the original archaeological dig claims that his research has been suppressed for over 20 years and that his repeated pleas to have his voice heard have been ignored by the world's governments and mass media alike.
When we finally located the good doctor at the Berne Conservatoire of Loony Tunesmiths (where he claims to be a lecturer) a rather tight-lipped Dr Formalde-Hyde issued the following statement to the press:

'Woong a widdy squish bang poop-de doo.... I want my puddy'

ExittheLemming wrote: The leader of an archaeological team who unearthed a fossilised bowl of primordial soup in 1974 claims they were forbidden by the greater scientific community from publishing their controversial results. Painstaking forensic research conducted over 18 months led the team to discover irrefutable proof that the very building blocks of life thought necessary to engender mankind's existence contained only nicotine, alcohol, caffeine and a rudimentary (burst) condom. Dr Jasper Formalde-Hyde who led the original archaeological dig claims that his research has been suppressed for over 20 years and that his repeated pleas to have his voice heard have been ignored by the world's governments and mass media alike. When we finally located the good doctor at the Berne Conservatoire of Loony Tunesmiths (where he claims to be a lecturer) a rather tight-lipped Dr Formalde-Hyde issued the following statement to the press: 'Woong a widdy squish bang poop-de doo.... I want my puddy'

you laugh now, but when the good Doctor is found dead by a blatantly suspicious "self-inflicted gunshot" and his death pronounced "the suicide of a bitter and lonely individual" by the coroner, it won't be so funny

Fists make a better fight, even with knives.

Atavachron wrote: I'm telling you, I was attacked by a skink.  Yes, it was definitely a skink. I think.

A flock of man eating female skinks is called a skank (You were lucky)

Masonic The Hedgehog.  

He was the last of the great Dominican taxidermists.