Italian Food V. Mexican Food

In an Italian restaurant in London I once ordered a sea-food pizza and it was served shell-on - I've never seen anything quite so  ridiculous as prawns, clams and mussels cooked in their shells on a pizza covered in tomato sauce and melted cheese - yes, that's the work of a genius, when any fool can make pizza but it takes special skill and effort to fk it up so badly that you can't physically eat it.

 

Another occasion in another restaurant in another town I ordered mexican hot pizza - when it was served there was three tiny pieces of pepperoni and not a jalapeños pepper in sight. It was only on taking the first bite I discovered that they had covered the topping in a tablespoonful of raw chili powder. When I complained to the owner he told me that if I couldn't handle hot food I shouldn't have ordered it - I told him the heat wasn't the problem and that if he had used fresh or preserved jalapeños or flaked chili or chili oil there wouldn't have been a problem but raw chili powder that hasn't "cooked-through" was simply unpleasant to eat to the point of being inedible and if he couldn't serve-up something as simple as cheese on toast with tree miserable slices of pepperoni without screwing it up he shouldn't be in business. I then asked him to try a fork-full of my pizza, at first he refused but I insisted - I don't think he chewed and I'm certain he didn't swallow, but his face went scarlet and tears welled in his eyes - he quickly took my plate away and stormed off to the kitchen, returning 10 minutes later with a fresh pizza covered in pepperoni, apologising that they had run out of jalapeños and that the chef had made a mistake in putting chili powder on the pizza.

 

Pizza is the only food where people reguarily don't clear the plate and no one hardly ever wants the last slice. And quite why people ask for a doggy-bag to take home their half-eaten pizza is beyond my comprehension.

 

No, pizza is not the work of genius, its lazy food, lazily prepared and lazily cooked for lazy people - it contains no imagination, flair or finess - at best it is a snack food, but other nations do starch-based snack food so much better, even the style over substance of sushi and sashimi (which is all too often served too cold to actually taste anything) or the brute-force of a burrito.

 

The Italians are great cooks and produce some excellent food, but pizza and pasta don't figure on my list of great Italian meals.