Top 10 Annoying Things Hardcore Prog Fans Do

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   This bit of delectable levity was concocted by the excellent but greatly unheard of, web reviewer, Cap'n Marvel. Now, Marvel admittedly likes 'prog' and greatly appreciates at least some of the work from each of the mainstream, well-known prog outfits (Genesis, Yes, King Crimson, etc. etc.) and this list is meant to be humorous and a big fat, funny joke, not offensive. So, please no screaming with bunched up panties, please.  

Personally, I'm guilty of 1, 2, sometimes 3, sometimes 5, and 10 (Though the Clash are amazin, bro.) on the first list.

They will forget other types of music exist and drown themselves in 70's prog rock, or even worse, its stale, sterile 90's derivative. The worst cases like 80's prog best of all. 
They will be sure to correct you on your factual knowledge of whatever group you happen to be discussing. Especially if its some point of obscurity. Prog fans love to show how much more they know about their music than you do. I'll concede this point right now. I've done a lot of reading, but I'm not a lover of the obscure.  So all you proggers out there, you win! 
They will certainly defend whatever group you don't like as being 'far beyond your comprehension', as if listening to music was equivalent to taking your SAT tests. 
They will certainly deride whatever group you DO like as being 'compromised pop' rather than 'true progressive music'. 

They will defend against charges of pretension with statements like 'Can't you just free your mind and LISTEN to the beautiful music?' or 'They're doing something new and exciting here, you big oaf!' or something they forgot to translate from the Borg language. 

Hanging out in mall restroom stalls looking through holes bored in the stall walls trying to see your dick as you're taking a piss. 

Attempting to justify prog as being somewhat 'higher in culture content' than usual rock music, and thereby trying to place it on a plane equal to classical or jazz music. 

Not giving you enough packages of hot sauce at the Taco Bell drive through. 

Thinking Robert Fripp is justified in acting like a complete pompous jackass to his fans. 

Still hold major grudges against punk rock. 
And now the Top 10 Cool Things Hardcore Prog Fans Do:

They never steal your girlfriend or talk about how cool it is to lift weights to Wind and Wuthering. 

Sit nice and quiet during shows so you can be heard clearly by the band while yelling 'Play 'Schizoid Man!!'' 

They don't bogart the weed. 

Appreciate a good guitar solo when they hear it. 

Are too busy renting 'MST3K' videos to take the copy of 'Taxi Driver' you wanted. 

Suddenly become very submissive around metal heads or punk rock fans. 

Can explain what exactly is the difference between 'Art Rock' and 'Progressive Rock' 

Usually deride Rush as 'second rate' too. 

You can borrow their albums and listen to them, thereby saving yourself the embarrassment of actually buying something called Gentle Giant in public. 

Turn cool shades of red when you ask questions about Big Generator. 

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LionRocker Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Groupie Joined: April 03 2010 Status: Offline Points: 42	Topic: Top 10 Annoying Things Hardcore Prog Fans Do Posted: August 12 2010 at 19:56
	This bit of delectable levity was concocted by the excellent but greatly unheard of, web reviewer, Cap'n Marvel. Now, Marvel admittedly likes 'prog' and greatly appreciates at least some of the work from each of the mainstream, well-known prog outfits (Genesis, Yes, King Crimson, etc. etc.) and this list is meant to be humorous and a big fat, funny joke, not offensive. So, please no screaming with bunched up panties, please. Personally, I'm guilty of 1, 2, sometimes 3, sometimes 5, and 10 (Though the Clash are amazin, bro.) on the first list. They will forget other types of music exist and drown themselves in 70's prog rock, or even worse, its stale, sterile 90's derivative. The worst cases like 80's prog best of all. They will be sure to correct you on your factual knowledge of whatever group you happen to be discussing. Especially if its some point of obscurity. Prog fans love to show how much more they know about their music than you do. I'll concede this point right now. I've done a lot of reading, but I'm not a lover of the obscure. So all you proggers out there, you win! They will certainly defend whatever group you don't like as being 'far beyond your comprehension', as if listening to music was equivalent to taking your SAT tests. They will certainly deride whatever group you DO like as being 'compromised pop' rather than 'true progressive music'. They will defend against charges of pretension with statements like 'Can't you just free your mind and LISTEN to the beautiful music?' or 'They're doing something new and exciting here, you big oaf!' or something they forgot to translate from the Borg language. Hanging out in mall restroom stalls looking through holes bored in the stall walls trying to see your dick as you're taking a piss. Attempting to justify prog as being somewhat 'higher in culture content' than usual rock music, and thereby trying to place it on a plane equal to classical or jazz music. Not giving you enough packages of hot sauce at the Taco Bell drive through. Thinking Robert Fripp is justified in acting like a complete pompous jackass to his fans. Still hold major grudges against punk rock. And now the Top 10 Cool Things Hardcore Prog Fans Do: They never steal your girlfriend or talk about how cool it is to lift weights to Wind and Wuthering. Sit nice and quiet during shows so you can be heard clearly by the band while yelling 'Play 'Schizoid Man!!'' They don't bogart the weed. Appreciate a good guitar solo when they hear it. Are too busy renting 'MST3K' videos to take the copy of 'Taxi Driver' you wanted. Suddenly become very submissive around metal heads or punk rock fans. Can explain what exactly is the difference between 'Art Rock' and 'Progressive Rock' Usually deride Rush as 'second rate' too. You can borrow their albums and listen to them, thereby saving yourself the embarrassment of actually buying something called Gentle Giant in public. Turn cool shades of red when you ask questions about Big Generator.
	A broken-winged dove, is all he has to show for love.

JJLehto Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: April 05 2006 Location: Tallahassee, FL Status: Offline Points: 34550	Posted: August 12 2010 at 20:29
	Agreed 100% Oh and also, lets not forget enjoying pre 1989 music

Mr. Maestro Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: March 05 2010 Location: Knowhere, USA Status: Offline Points: 918	Posted: August 12 2010 at 21:02
	I'm afraid I'm guilty of 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, and 10 on the "annoying" list. Not that I'm wrong in doing so, of course...
	"I am the one who crossed through space...or stayed where I was...or didn't exist in the first place...."

CPicard Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: October 03 2008 Location: Là, sui monti. Status: Offline Points: 10841	Posted: August 13 2010 at 05:39
	Not guilty. But I can be a true jackass when coming to METAAAAAAAAAAL! YOU WANT SOME METAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!! Hum, sorry, just a natural reflex.

LionRocker Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Groupie Joined: April 03 2010 Status: Offline Points: 42	Posted: August 13 2010 at 12:53
	Just for the record, everybody, "Eleventh Earl of Mar" is my choice tune when I bench at the gym.

AtomicCrimsonRush Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 02 2008 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 14258	Posted: August 13 2010 at 20:52
	I AM Guilty of the ones in RED! They will forget other types of music exist and drown themselves in 70's prog rock, or even worse, its stale, sterile 90's derivative. The worst cases like 80's prog best of all. They will be sure to correct you on your factual knowledge of whatever group you happen to be discussing. Especially if its some point of obscurity. Prog fans love to show how much more they know about their music than you do. I'll concede this point right now. I've done a lot of reading, but I'm not a lover of the obscure. So all you proggers out there, you win! They will certainly defend whatever group you don't like as being 'far beyond your comprehension', as if listening to music was equivalent to taking your SAT tests. They will certainly deride whatever group you DO like as being 'compromised pop' rather than 'true progressive music'. They will defend against charges of pretension with statements like 'Can't you just free your mind and LISTEN to the beautiful music?' or 'They're doing something new and exciting here, you big oaf!' or something they forgot to translate from the Borg language. Hanging out in mall restroom stalls looking through holes bored in the stall walls trying to see your dick as you're taking a piss. Attempting to justify prog as being somewhat 'higher in culture content' than usual rock music, and thereby trying to place it on a plane equal to classical or jazz music. Not giving you enough packages of hot sauce at the Taco Bell drive through. Thinking Robert Fripp is justified in acting like a complete pompous jackass to his fans. Still hold major grudges against punk rock. And now the Top 10 Cool Things Hardcore Prog Fans Do: They never steal your girlfriend or talk about how cool it is to lift weights to Wind and Wuthering. Sit nice and quiet during shows so you can be heard clearly by the band while yelling 'Play 'Schizoid Man!!'' They don't bogart the weed. Appreciate a good guitar solo when they hear it. Are too busy renting 'MST3K' videos to take the copy of 'Taxi Driver' you wanted. Suddenly become very submissive around metal heads or punk rock fans. Can explain what exactly is the difference between 'Art Rock' and 'Progressive Rock' Usually deride Rush as 'second rate' too. You can borrow their albums and listen to them, thereby saving yourself the embarrassment of actually buying something called Gentle Giant in public. Turn cool shades of red when you ask questions about Big Generator.