SR 18: Come share your stupid, terrible opinions

So I got this girl in the sex nid-arena

Getting ready to put my Poke-flue in between her.

First I take it slow bro, you know, play it Tentacool

When I Poliwag my Weedle oh how it makes her drool

I’m hard as a rock, and this girl seems hooked on onix

Cause she puts her Meowth on my Pidgey and takes it like a bong hit

Then she’s starting to Machoke, which isn’t very cool

I don’t want to risk the Chance, see, of being Tentacruel

With the greatest swiftness, I slide off her Kabutop

And make her great paras come unleashed and drop

She’s seaking to be drilled, while I’m hoping she’s infertile

Playing with those jigglypuffs, trying veno-not to Squirtle

I Exegcute that foreplay, and now I’m ready to Cubone

Trying to finish quickly before her Mr. Mime gets home

But she stops before I can start the Manky Panky

And Says “Since I had to Staryu, you have to Starmie”

So since she did me, I guess I have to Ditto

I get down on my knees and pone-eat a Pidgetto

Give her a Slowpoke before I dive into that girl

And attack her cloyster with a full polywhirl

I Lickitung her Lapras, tasting on that Magicarp-et

Hoping she’s not Krabby, that’d be gastly and would make my heart sick

Yes that Persian rug was clef-hairy, but I didn’t really mind

Since I could ring the Victory bell, I was getting some behind

Down there for so long, I came up Koffing and Wheezing

I got her seel of approval though, cause she’s Growlith-ing and breathing

Wanting to gravel her, feeling so sand-shrewd

Give her an electabuzz with my spear-oh too

I’d tell you her name, but don’t think she’s a whore, see?

Not to many get her rapidash, tonight she’s just rhyhorn-y,

So I start Rhydon like the Machamp, feel like I could roar

Going so hard that I probably made her ivy sore

She wanted my Arbok so I gave her gear a dose

Going so hard that her Mew almost tauros

Inside that butterfree, feeling like a charmelon bucks

Constantly Jolteon her from the power of my Psyduck

Now I must have gone and jinxed it, somewhere in the equation

Cause she started getting drowzee during the copulation

I didn’t even notice, I kept going at her Golbat

But then something seemed Oddish when I she started to snorelax

I tried to wake her up, zu-but she was pory-gone

And she’d have to be awake before I’d get my flare on.

Of course I felt gloom, I thought I had been charming’ her

And now I can’t Grime her voltorb or I’ll be harming her

My Dewgong can’t Muk, and if he does it’d be rude

But this is still better then the time I brought home a Geodude

With my pants down and my bell sprouted, I feel I got to doduo

So I Maro-walked into the bathroom, and when I leave, what do I view?

That my girl’s awake again-gar, which seems kind of farfetched

And provoked some Poliwrath at the thought that she fake-slept

I asked her what was wrong, does she not like it when I pinsir?

And she responded with, “Calm down a second, Spencer.

If you think your sex is good, your wrong, if you think your hip, no,

The only thing you’re good at is Nintendo.”

I love this girl a magneton, and hearing that was wiggly tough.

The eevee-ning had started well, but now was turning rough

Told her “Wait a parasect, please stay the omanyte,

You’re my goldeen girl, and if you leave I magne-might

E-raticate my life, cause you are my pharaoh!

It’s to early in the night to give me the kabuto!”

And she says, “Way back when, when I first took a peek at you.

I thought you were kind of cute and that you’d want my mew too.

I felt electrodes in the air when I saw you and you saw me

But that was before I knew your Diglett was so Dragtini!”

I didn’t know the size of my Dodrio mattered, and my god,

Here I thought we were like two Caterpies in a Metapod

I hope the memories of me haunt her, I hope she never leaves her shellder

“I hope you see dra light soon,” I go and I tell her.

“I know you think your hot sh*t, but I’m actually exegg-cuter.

I’m the omastar, the Kingler, I can find another suitor.

I’m sorry about the time I gave you Wartortles and blisters

Or when I suggested a dugtrio with your sister.

But if you still want go, I won’t beg like our canine.

Golduck with your life, I’m having a Blastoise with mine.”

And that night, Misty left me, I felt so vileplume

I reckons that dragon night was the beginning of the doom

But I guess men are from Magmars women from Venusaur

And every thing tangelable, there’s a reason for

I learned this the next week, when bad news filled the dragonair

My heart got machopped in half like a scyther giving it a tear

A phone call from her mother told me a kakuna in her head

Had attached to her vulpix, and now Misty was dead.

I thought it was a cle-fable that those things were hitmon-lethal

I had heard eight or ninetales about gol-them from different people

But I still couldn’t believe it, I started weepin, belting out tears

Cuts and slashes vaporeonizing all of our years

It was like Riach-uno, Zap-dos, Mol-tres, and she’s gone

And I can’t abra kadabra with some magic wand

No alacazam and she reappears, I feel like a primeape

They could have caught the growth but the Kangascans came back to late

I pidgey-ought to have known better, but the news was quite charz-hard

My heart felt bulba-sore, was permanently scarred

She was my Nidoqueen, I should not have nido-ran

I wanted to be her Nidoking, but I felt more like a hitman-chan

If I hadn’t nidoran, would she still be with us?

Or is my poke-love just to damn venomoth?

Insides numb like the artic, you know that feeling

A gun ratatta-ed my heart and I’m just waiting for the healing

But I don’t regret getting hit with cupid’s arrow-dact-all

Relationships are like pokemon, you gotta catch em’ all.

Nidarino.

I lolled at "when I suggested a dugtrio with your sister"