Car Insurance Accident Claims

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   I thought you all might be amused by these statements of  car accident causes that people have filled in on their Insurance claim forms. Unbelieveable but true..........

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. 
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. 
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. 
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull. 
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought. 
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. 
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. 
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. 
The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. 
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. 
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end. 
I pulled in to the side of the rode because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket. 
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle. 
Who caused the car accident?
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 
I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control. 
On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke. 
I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way. 
The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal. 
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. 

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Nightfly Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: August 01 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3659	Topic: Car Insurance Accident Claims Posted: July 24 2010 at 09:37
	I thought you all might be amused by these statements of car accident causes that people have filled in on their Insurance claim forms. Unbelieveable but true.......... I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end. I pulled in to the side of the rode because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket. The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle. Who caused the car accident? The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control. On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke. I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way. The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Finnforest Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 03 2007 Location: The Heartland Status: Offline Points: 16914	Posted: July 24 2010 at 09:41
	Not surprising Paul, esp the "fly" one. I notice whenever a bee flies in my car I freak a little bit, and I keep my eye on him which is distracting. Thankfully they usually head for the rear window.

Snow Dog Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: March 23 2005 Location: Caerdydd Status: Offline Points: 32995	Posted: July 24 2010 at 09:41
	Are you Jasper Carrott?


stonebeard Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057	Posted: July 24 2010 at 09:55
	I looked away from the road for a second because I spilled my coffee thermos and I rear-ended a soon-to-be-distraught gentleman.
	My soundcloud. Please give feedback if you want!

DisgruntledPorcupine Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: January 16 2010 Location: Thunder Bay CAN Status: Offline Points: 4395	Posted: July 24 2010 at 10:10
	The fire in the engine one can be taken so wrong at first read...

June Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: November 03 2008 Location: Montreal Status: Offline Points: 6521	Posted: July 24 2010 at 10:36
	Urghhh... that reminds me of the accident I had in the spring... Some guy didn't do his stop whatsoever, and I didn't have one to do, I avoided him, but swerved into a pole. His line was not quite as funny as those, but "I didn't see you there" was pretty lame. Especially since he lived on that street, so he would have known there was a stop sign there.

Man With Hat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Collaborator Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team Joined: March 12 2005 Location: Neurotica Status: Offline Points: 166183	Posted: July 24 2010 at 16:57
	Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. My favorite.
	Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.

zappaholic Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: March 24 2006 Location: flyover country Status: Offline Points: 2822	Posted: July 24 2010 at 19:43
	Oldie but a goodie.
	"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken