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The Runaway
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 04:33 |
CinemaZebra wrote:
Arrrghus wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have cancer." | ROFL You're supposed to post BAD jokes here.
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QFT
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Conor Fynes
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 11 2009
Location: Vancouver, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3196
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 11:46 |
Why did the cucumber eat the guinea pig/??
...because he was hungry!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 14:22 |
What do you call 3 Mexicans sitting on a stoop? Their names
You hear about the blonde that jumped off the bridge? She had major depression
A young boy says, "Mommy where do babies come from?" Mother: "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead"
What's the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same
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DisgruntledPorcupine
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 16 2010
Location: Thunder Bay CAN
Status: Offline
Points: 4395
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 16:08 |
JJLehto wrote:
What do you call 3 Mexicans sitting on a stoop? Their names
You hear about the blonde that jumped off the bridge? She had major depression
A young boy says, "Mommy where do babies come from?" Mother: "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead"
What's the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same
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I chuckled. 
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 16:17 |
what was the name of the Nazi that liked Tim Hortons? Admiral Donuts
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Conor Fynes
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 11 2009
Location: Vancouver, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3196
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 16:59 |
presdoug wrote:
what was the name of the Nazi that liked Tim Hortons? Admiral Donuts
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Historical figure FTW?
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CinemaZebra
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2010
Location: Ancient Rome
Status: Offline
Points: 6795
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 17:02 |
Knock knock.
...
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 21:23 |
Conor Fynes wrote:
presdoug wrote:
what was the name of the Nazi that liked Tim Hortons? Admiral Donuts
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Historical figure FTW? |
it is a pronunciation joke-the Nazi that took over running the Third Reich just after Hitler commited suicide was named Admiral Karl Doenitz, thus the last name sounds like donuts
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UndercoverBoy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 10 2009
Location: Tulsa, OK, U.S.
Status: Offline
Points: 5148
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 21:26 |
JJLehto wrote:
Timmy writes a note in class, the teacher see's it and takes it from him. She says, "Let's see what was so important Timmy" she reads the note and proclaims...."OH MY GOD! This is the worst thing I've ever read! The principal needs to see this."
So the teacher gives the note to the principal who reads it, and is horrified. "Sweet Jesus" he said, "To think a little boy could write such a thing! In my 32 years of education I've never seen something this bad. Timmy's parents need to see this" So he gave the note to Timmy's parents.
They read it and are shocked. "TIMMY! How could you? What is wrong with you?" his mother yelled while sobbing. Timmy's father was son appalled he left the family. Timmy's mother said, "Son this is so bad that the President needs to know!" So she mailed the note to President Obama. He obviously was very busy but his staff demanded that he reads it, for it was so terrible. So 'Bama read the note, and simply laid it down silently. "In all my years of political office, all the terrible things I've seen people do, all the killing I've seen in Iraq, all the unemployed people living in the nation, none are as bad as this note....I can't even have this in here! Only Satan can deal with this." So Obama called up George W Bush and asked him to give the note to his good friend Satan.
Bush agreed, and asked his wife to read the note to him. He was left speechless, and eventually managed to choke out, "...only Satan indeed can dispose of this letter". So George gave the letter to Satan. Satan read the note and simply said, "Wow...this is terrible!" He then threw the note in the fire
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Like Monty Python much?
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Tarquin Underspoon
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 12 2009
Location: USA
Status: Offline
Points: 1416
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Posted: June 16 2010 at 00:38 |
So a pirate, a nun, and an alien walk into a bar...
The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
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"WAAAAAAOOOOOUGH! WAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHH!! WAAAAAOOOO!!!"
-The Great Gig in the Sky
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 16 2010 at 02:12 |
An Irish man walks into a bar
Someone inside goes crazy and murders everyone
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CinemaZebra
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2010
Location: Ancient Rome
Status: Offline
Points: 6795
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Posted: June 16 2010 at 12:02 |
Why don't blind people like to sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 19 2010 at 17:25 |
Did i tell you that i cracked a joke with Richard Wagner? He gave me a Lohengrin
What was the name of the communist Beatles fan? John Lenin
What was the name of the Beatles fan that ran a laundromat? John Linnen
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CinemaZebra
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2010
Location: Ancient Rome
Status: Offline
Points: 6795
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Posted: June 20 2010 at 12:15 |
Conor Fynes wrote:
Why did the cucumber eat the guinea pig/??
...because he was hungry!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA |
Oh I get it. Because "hungry" starts with an "H" lolololololololololololol
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The Runaway
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144
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Posted: June 22 2010 at 00:37 |
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 28 2010 at 11:01 |
did you hear about the farmer?
He was outstanding in his field
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AbrahamSapien
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 27 2009
Location: Slovenia
Status: Offline
Points: 181
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Posted: June 29 2010 at 13:17 |
Zere wer zwei Peanuts walking down ze Strasse. One was asalted. -Peanut.
PRM PSK Z RT!
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crimhead
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 10 2006
Location: Missouri
Status: Offline
Points: 19236
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Posted: June 29 2010 at 13:20 |
A blond goes to a vet and says there's something wrong with her goldfish it's having seizures. The vet looks at it and says it looks fine. The blond goes look what happens when I take it out of the water.
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The Runaway
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144
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Posted: June 29 2010 at 15:21 |
^ EPIC WIN
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Ronnie Pilgrim
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 09 2010
Location: The South of TX
Status: Offline
Points: 771
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Posted: June 29 2010 at 22:27 |
A guy goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor happens to be a hot babe, also. She tells him "I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." The guy asks why, and she says "because I'm trying to examine you!"
Edited by Ronnie Pilgrim - June 29 2010 at 22:40
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