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The Runaway View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 04:33
Originally posted by CinemaZebra CinemaZebra wrote:

Originally posted by Arrrghus Arrrghus wrote:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "I have cancer."
ROFL You're supposed to post BAD jokes here.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 11:46
Why did the cucumber eat the guinea pig/??
 
...because he was hungry!
 
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 14:22
What do you call 3 Mexicans sitting on a stoop?
Their names

You hear about the blonde that jumped off the bridge?
She had major depression

A young boy says, "Mommy where do babies come from?"
Mother: "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead"

What's the difference between a duck?
One of it's legs are both the same
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 16:08
Originally posted by JJLehto JJLehto wrote:

What do you call 3 Mexicans sitting on a stoop?
Their names

You hear about the blonde that jumped off the bridge?
She had major depression

A young boy says, "Mommy where do babies come from?"
Mother: "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead"

What's the difference between a duck?
One of it's legs are both the same

I chuckled. Embarrassed
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 16:17
what was the name of the Nazi that liked Tim Hortons?
                         Admiral Donuts
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 16:59
Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

what was the name of the Nazi that liked Tim Hortons?
                         Admiral Donuts
Historical figure FTW?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 17:02
Knock knock.

...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 21:23
Originally posted by Conor Fynes Conor Fynes wrote:

Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

what was the name of the Nazi that liked Tim Hortons?
                         Admiral Donuts
Historical figure FTW?
it is a pronunciation joke-the Nazi that took over running the Third Reich just after Hitler commited suicide was named Admiral Karl Doenitz, thus the last name sounds like donutsBig smile
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2010 at 21:26
Originally posted by JJLehto JJLehto wrote:

Timmy writes a note in class, the teacher see's it and takes it from him.
She says, "Let's see what was so important Timmy" she reads the note and proclaims...."OH MY GOD! This is the worst thing I've ever read! The principal needs to see this."

So the teacher gives the note to the principal who reads it, and is horrified. "Sweet Jesus" he said, "To think a little boy could write such a thing! In my 32 years of education I've never seen something this bad. Timmy's parents need to see this"
So he gave the note to Timmy's parents.

They read it and are shocked. "TIMMY! How could you? What is wrong with you?" his mother yelled while sobbing. Timmy's father was son appalled he left the family. Timmy's mother said, "Son this is so bad that the President needs to know!"
So she mailed the note to President Obama. He obviously was very busy but his staff demanded that he reads it, for it was so terrible. So 'Bama read the note, and simply laid it down silently.
"In all my years of political office, all the terrible things I've seen people do, all the killing I've seen in Iraq, all the unemployed people living in the nation, none are as bad as this note....I can't even have this in here! Only Satan can deal with this." So Obama called up George W Bush and asked him to give the note to his good friend Satan.

Bush agreed, and asked his wife to read the note to him. He was left speechless, and eventually managed to choke out, "...only Satan indeed can dispose of this letter". So George gave the letter to Satan. Satan read the note and simply said, "Wow...this is terrible!"
He then threw the note in the fire
Like Monty Python much?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2010 at 00:38
So a pirate, a nun, and an alien walk into a bar...
 
The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
 
 
"WAAAAAAOOOOOUGH!    WAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHH!!   WAAAAAOOOO!!!"

-The Great Gig in the Sky
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2010 at 02:12
An Irish man walks into a bar

Someone inside goes crazy and murders everyone
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2010 at 12:02
Why don't blind people like to sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 19 2010 at 17:25
Did i tell you that i cracked a joke with Richard Wagner?
                  He gave me a Lohengrin

What was the name of the communist Beatles fan?
                                                             John Lenin

What was the name of the Beatles fan that ran a laundromat?
                                                                 John Linnen

















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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 20 2010 at 12:15
Originally posted by Conor Fynes Conor Fynes wrote:

Why did the cucumber eat the guinea pig/??
 
...because he was hungry!
 
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Oh I get it. Because "hungry" starts with an "H" lolololololololololololol
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 22 2010 at 00:37
Originally posted by JJLehto JJLehto wrote:

An Irish man walks into a bar

Someone inside goes crazy and murders everyone


I ACTUALLY LOL'D ALONE ClapClapClap LOLLOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 28 2010 at 11:01
did you hear about the farmer?

               He was outstanding in his field
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2010 at 13:17
Zere wer zwei Peanuts walking down ze Strasse. One was asalted. -Peanut.

PRM PSK Z RT!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2010 at 13:20
A blond goes to a vet and says there's something wrong with her goldfish it's having seizures. The vet looks at it and says it looks fine. The blond goes look what happens when I take it out of the water.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2010 at 15:21
^ EPIC WIN
Trendsetter win!

The search for nonexistent perfection.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 29 2010 at 22:27
A guy goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor happens to be a hot babe, also. She tells him "I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." The guy asks why, and she says "because I'm trying to examine you!"




Edited by Ronnie Pilgrim - June 29 2010 at 22:40
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