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Conor Fynes
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 11 2009
Location: Vancouver, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3196
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 11:46 |
Why did the cucumber eat the guinea pig/??
...because he was hungry!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
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The Runaway
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 04:33 |
CinemaZebra wrote:
Arrrghus wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have cancer." | ROFL You're supposed to post BAD jokes here.
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QFT
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 02:31 |
Timmy writes a note in class, the teacher see's it and takes it from him. She says, "Let's see what was so important Timmy" she reads the note and proclaims...."OH MY GOD! This is the worst thing I've ever read! The principal needs to see this."
So the teacher gives the note to the principal who reads it, and is horrified. "Sweet Jesus" he said, "To think a little boy could write such a thing! In my 32 years of education I've never seen something this bad. Timmy's parents need to see this" So he gave the note to Timmy's parents.
They read it and are shocked. "TIMMY! How could you? What is wrong with you?" his mother yelled while sobbing. Timmy's father was son appalled he left the family. Timmy's mother said, "Son this is so bad that the President needs to know!" So she mailed the note to President Obama. He obviously was very busy but his staff demanded that he reads it, for it was so terrible. So 'Bama read the note, and simply laid it down silently. "In all my years of political office, all the terrible things I've seen people do, all the killing I've seen in Iraq, all the unemployed people living in the nation, none are as bad as this note....I can't even have this in here! Only Satan can deal with this." So Obama called up George W Bush and asked him to give the note to his good friend Satan.
Bush agreed, and asked his wife to read the note to him. He was left speechless, and eventually managed to choke out, "...only Satan indeed can dispose of this letter". So George gave the letter to Satan. Satan read the note and simply said, "Wow...this is terrible!" He then threw the note in the fire
Edited by JJLehto - June 15 2010 at 02:37
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 15 2010 at 02:19 |
Sooo this family walks into a talent agent's office. The father says, "We have an act that you just HAVE to see, it's called the aristocrats.......wait.....F*CK!"
Edited by JJLehto - June 15 2010 at 02:19
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UndercoverBoy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 10 2009
Location: Tulsa, OK, U.S.
Status: Offline
Points: 5148
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Posted: June 14 2010 at 21:07 |
Arrrghus wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have cancer." |
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 14 2010 at 19:48 |
how many Newfies does it take to change a light bulb? four-one to hold the bulb, and three to turn the chair
how many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? "IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!"
how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change
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CinemaZebra
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2010
Location: Ancient Rome
Status: Offline
Points: 6795
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Posted: June 14 2010 at 17:48 |
Arrrghus wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have cancer." |
ROFL You're supposed to post BAD jokes here.
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 13 2010 at 10:48 |
Why do they sink heavy metal guitarists to the bottom of the ocean? Because deep down they're really nice guys
What shakes and is at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck
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A Person
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 10 2008
Location: __
Status: Offline
Points: 65760
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Posted: June 13 2010 at 02:28 |
Arrrghus wrote:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have cancer." |
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Arrrghus
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 21 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5296
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Posted: June 13 2010 at 02:27 |
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have cancer."
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DisgruntledPorcupine
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 16 2010
Location: Thunder Bay CAN
Status: Offline
Points: 4395
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Posted: June 12 2010 at 23:15 |
CinemaZebra wrote:
DT-PT wrote:
what's brown and sticky? | Lil Wayne?
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CinemaZebra
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2010
Location: Ancient Rome
Status: Offline
Points: 6795
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Posted: June 12 2010 at 23:12 |
DT-PT wrote:
what's brown and sticky? |
Lil Wayne?
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CinemaZebra
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2010
Location: Ancient Rome
Status: Offline
Points: 6795
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Posted: June 12 2010 at 23:11 |
progadicto wrote:
Do you know how a woman loses the 90% of her brain?
When her husband dies...
And how she lose the other 10%???
When her dog dies!

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I thought it was the other way around.
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DisgruntledPorcupine
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 16 2010
Location: Thunder Bay CAN
Status: Offline
Points: 4395
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Posted: June 12 2010 at 23:01 |
Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide.
*laughtrack*
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 12 2010 at 22:35 |
What did the Alaskan policemen say to the bank robbers? Freeze!
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Niv
Forum Groupie
Joined: June 12 2010
Location: Adelaide
Status: Offline
Points: 82
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Posted: June 12 2010 at 09:07 |
I had a fisherman's lunch the other day...he wasn't very happy about it.
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presdoug
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8778
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Posted: June 11 2010 at 22:05 |
when Beethoven was alive, he spent alot of time composing you know what he is doing now? decomposing
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DisgruntledPorcupine
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 16 2010
Location: Thunder Bay CAN
Status: Offline
Points: 4395
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Posted: June 11 2010 at 16:36 |
^^^
And I was just about to ask what's brown and sticky... 
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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Posted: June 11 2010 at 13:09 |
....a stick
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What?
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Conor Fynes
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 11 2009
Location: Vancouver, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3196
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Posted: June 11 2010 at 12:19 |
....
...
...
...Whats brown and sounds like a bell?
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