My Wife's Niece is Missing!

Ivan_Melgar_M wrote: I've been following this  thread silently, because anything I could say would sound pale in comparison with the pain Brian and his family were suffering.   Now I can't say anything, except that I'm terribly sorry.   Iván

Yeah, I feel the same...

A candle for Amber:

Brian,

Easy Livin wrote: I'm sure you know Brian that many many of us have been following this thread but feeling inadequate to post. We have all been hoping for a positive outcome.   I really is devastating to find that after all this time all our hopes have been dashed. Sincerest condolences to you and your family.

and I'd like to add my personal gratitude to everyone from their support and thoughts.  There is a reason I love the forum....  it isn't the music...  it is shooting the bull with characters like you all.  It is a close-knit cyber community in spite of our petty musical differences. You have hearts of gold... and what you have shown Brian and his family says a lot about you all. 

Raff and I will have a candle lit tonight for Amber.. someone who has touched our lives very deeply through Brian and his family.  I took this news very ...very badly last night.  I really had dreams of meeting her when Raff and I finally go west to see Brian and our other Ca PA'rs and I planned on giving her a big ol' kiss on the cheek and telling her we were so happy she was home.. and tell her how she has touched so many lives.

sorry.. just rambling on.. forgive me.  

I have only just heard this news.  I am shocked and lost for words.  So all I shall say is that I am very very sorry for the loss of Amber and my thoughts are with her family and friends at this terrible time.

In pace, requiescat Amber DuBois. Gone, but never forgotten.

Brian,

I'm sorry to hear the news.  I've been following the thread as well, hoping for a positive outcome.  I'm so sorry for you and your family.  As Olav said, it's not the ending anyone has hoped for but at least you finally have closure.

RIP

Garion81 wrote:   Please be a positive light in your own communities. Help our family keep our Amber alive by demanding our representatives at all levels know our outrage and demand real change in how these types of criminals are handled in the future.  In the case of violent rape it should be one strike not 3.  Lets' look at who is in prison and why.  Should a person holding more than one ounce but less than one pound of marijuana really need to be locked up on felony charges?  That might eliminate 10% or more of the overcrowding now so that we can keep people like John Gardener from ever having a chance to repeat what he did.  As one expert said on the news this week he learned from the first conviction that he could not let his next victims live and testify against him.  In my opinion it would be rare that any such individual would not progress down that path that John Gardener took.  While this kind of predator needs to be stopped this doesn't even take into account all of those children taken into sexual slavery around the world.  Imagine your children being sold like  loaf of bread to be used by depraved minds and hearts. Human trafficking is fast exceeding drug trafficking as the leading criminal export.

Edited by Ivan_Melgar_M - March 09 2010 at 18:03

Iv'an and Mickey thank you for your responses. 

I've already had my hand slapped for being 'political' in this thread, so I'll keep my comments level.

As I see the US from the outside, from a country with a mere 5 million people people that are astonished that maybe 50 murders in total will be committed this year if the bad opening of the year continues, where we have guns in every other home but rarely cases of gun-related incidents (and the majority of these from foreign-based or controlled crime gangs) and perhaps one such child disappearance every 5th year or so, I think there are many issues to deal with.

A system that manage to take care of those falling outside of the work environment being the most important. To prevent children from growing up in homes where the parents doesn't function. To take children away from parents clearly not able at parenting as soon as possible, when early guidance from competent people hasn't had the desired effect. If whatever person responsible for this particular crime has such a background I guess is still unknown - but the majority of these cases seems to be done by people living in less than desirable conditions (to put it mildly), damaging their souls and personalities for life. Preventing that from happening should be high on the list.

A system for handling those that doesn't get rescued from such situations is a next. Sex offenders are treatable to some extent, but the fallback rate is on level with heavy drug abusers. Most are not treatable, and should be handled as such. Some will be born without empathy and have a fault in their genes that will make them predators no matter what, and for them it's a matter of locking them up and throwing away the key (or by preference melting it).

Others will be damaged by their upbringing, and those in this category does contain the salvagable cases. People subjected to torture of various kinds in their childhood - physical abuse, sexual abuse, in general subjected to various forms of dysfunctional environments. Society should obviously be sheltered from such individuals, but as long as some of these cases might be treated to become functioning people such treatment should be given. If not for anything else than to find the ones worth treating. Most cases will be too damaged though, and will have to be taken out of society.

But to be able to do what's briefly outlined above a major system has to be in place. Social welfare, a security net that makes it possible for people to get through economically. In the case of the US a better minimum wage system by law as well as getting on par with the rest of the western world in terms of law-given vacations (the latter a field where even Japan has a better system than the US) would be a good start. Wages that makes it possible for people to get by with one full time job and paid vacation for 2-3 weeks a year would take care of many problems - and would have a major positive effect -in the long run- to prevent cases like these.

For short term effects some legislation would have to be dealt with though. The prevention of people growing up to be monsters is a long haul where the results doesn't show themselves for 20 years or more. And the monsters created meanwhile will live - on average till they are 75 or so. Finding and dealing with them in a manner that prevents them from harming society is and will be a major challenge anyway. And even if measures should be taken right now in the prevention department, that means that there are still 75 years ahead of the US with monsters already created that needs to be handled in a way that prevents them from damaging others. Where finding them arguably may me the major challenge.

One way to track them down is to start tracking people with abnormal behaviours. Flashers will often indicate a person in a sloe evolvement to become a molester. Those who abuse prostitutes will often abuse others as well, and it is well known that those people in some circumstances may move on to abuse others as well. Many of them are established abusers in their home situation, and represents a danger to society at large if that home relation falls apart for instance.

It is also well known that monsters like these seek out powerful positions if they can. Sport leaders (especially trainers of children and youths) and religious organizations (smaller, secteric ones in particular) are known as the fields where these predators most often will establish themselves.

I could go on and on here - but I'll stop with these brief, initial descriptions. As a few scraps of food for thought.