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progkidjoel
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Joined: March 02 2009
Location: Australia
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Points: 19643
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 05:39 |
Should I make a story about my love for Vompatti?
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The Sleepwalker
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 05:42 |
Yes!!
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progkidjoel
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Joined: March 02 2009
Location: Australia
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Points: 19643
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 05:47 |
Its a think piece about life in the suburbs. It is a spoken word story, no pictures!
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progkidjoel
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Joined: March 02 2009
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 19643
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:04 |
I once loved a wombat
A wombat I did
They called him Vompatti
Vompatti, the kid!
Vompatti was ugly,
And smelt like a shoe
He had dirty fingernails
And rotten teeth, too!
I met my love
In the cold part of June
He was there on the street,
playing bassoon!
He approached me and asked
For some wieners and peas
So I told him I loved him
And he said he loved me!
We walked through the park
And he bought me some milk
He told me my hair was
Much softer than silk!
But Vompatti my love,
Was lying you see
For I did not love him
For he could not love me!
Vompatti did tell me
"but I love you so!
If you will not keep me,
Then where shall I go?"
I said to him,
"Get out, get out you poo!
You do not love me,
And I will NEVER love you!"
He told me he'd kill me
And burn down my house
If my decision would be
To deny him his spouse!
So I called the police
But he ripped out the phone cord,
So I reached for my gun
And he reached for his sword!
I laughed at his blade, I said
"You'll never beat me!"
But as I was laughing,
I needed to pee!
So I went to the toilet
And urinated, I did!
But there was Vompatti,
Vompatti the kid!
I jumped in my shock,
And Vompatti stabbed me!
So I shot him in the face,
And continued to pee!
But then came a Dutchman,
A midget biker one!
And he said to us,
"LOL CAN I JOIN IN ON TEH FUN"
So the battle continued,
Epic and bold,
It went from summer to winter,
And the days became cold.
No-one had won,
And no-one had lost,
But soon the anger faded,
Along with the frost!
For I shot Vompatti,
And Vompatti stabbed me
And the midget Dutch biker
Did yell out with glee:
"Now why are we fighting,
When we could put on Dream Theater?!"
And with his last breath,
Vompatti turned up the heater.
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The Sleepwalker
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Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
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Points: 15141
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:11 |
Wow, Joel! ![Shocked Shocked](smileys/smiley3.gif) Great story, and some part are just amazing! ![Big smile Big smile](smileys/smiley4.gif)
JOEL wrote:
We walked through the park And he bought me some milk He told me my hair was Much softer than silk! |
I can already see what this scene would look like. So romantic!![Heart Heart](smileys/smiley27.gif)
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:15 |
No pictures?! What were you thinkging???!!!
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The Sleepwalker
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Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:19 |
Even without pictures Joel's story is much better than your story, Vompatti.
Edited by floydispink - January 27 2010 at 06:20
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:22 |
It doesn't even rhyme!
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The Sleepwalker
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:24 |
Neither did your arse magna! ![Shocked Shocked](smileys/smiley3.gif)
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:27 |
IT WASN'T EVEN MEANT TO!!! ![Angry Angry](smileys/smiley7.gif) (And it's ARS magna, you fool!!! ![Angry Angry](smileys/smiley7.gif) )
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The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:35 |
Is it that easy to make you whine!?
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:38 |
I WAS NOT WHINING!!!!!
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The Sleepwalker
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Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:42 |
Aaaaaaw, poor whiny wombat.
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 09:59 |
A Verse-by-Verse Commentary on a Recent Story1. You may really have loved me I cannot deny But to call me a kid? Why, why, oh why? ![Disapprove Disapprove](smileys/smiley13.gif) 2. It's true that I'm ugly It's true that I smell But my teeth are NOT rotten They bite perfectly well! ![Big smile Big smile](smileys/smiley4.gif) 3. I never met no one Who'd love me at all I played the bassoon No one answered my call. ![Cry Cry](smileys/smiley19.gif) 4. And I'm much too shy To ask anyone For wieners or peas Or indeed for their love! ![Embarrassed Embarrassed](smileys/smiley9.gif) 5. I just can't afford To buy milk to strangers Not even if their hair Was softer than a manger filled with straws and stuff. ![Thumbs Down Thumbs Down](smileys/smiley21.gif) 6. And about my love I would never lie Why would I do that Why, why, oh why? ![Confused Confused](smileys/smiley5.gif) 7. And if you don't love me I don't give a rat's rear end I'll go where I please Regardless of whether you love me or not, my friend. ![Stern Smile Stern Smile](smileys/smiley22.gif) 8. Even if I don't love you I would not let you tell me To get out, in fact I'd Ignore you and ring a bell, whee! ![Clown Clown](smileys/smiley8.gif) 9. I may very well kill you And burn down your house But if I will, it's not because You didn't marry me, you lousy mouse! ![Angry Angry](smileys/smiley7.gif) 10. I don't have a sword To wield against you And you don't have a gun You disgusting little . . . eww! ![Dead Dead](smileys/smiley11.gif) 11., 12., 13. I actually like these verses Because they're mostly about Urinating, which is something I really enjoy a lot. ![Smile Smile](smileys/smiley1.gif) 14. There was no midget biker I think you made him up And besides, even if there had been I would have tied him to a volcano that's about to erupt. ![Evil Smile Evil Smile](smileys/smiley15.gif) 15. The battle was short Less than an hour It took less time Than it takes milk to get sour if kept in the fridge. ![Ying Yang Ying Yang](smileys/smiley33.gif) 16. I was the winner You were the loser Then there was this one chick But we had to lose her. ![Unhappy Unhappy](smileys/smiley6.gif) 17. I would not let you shoot me Not with a gun But perhaps with a camera It could be jolly fun! ![Smile Smile](smileys/smiley1.gif) 18. I think we both know Dream Theater Does not rhyme with heater So why didn't you use a sentence Ending with the word "meter"?
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The Sleepwalker
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Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:17 |
Is this your true arse magna? It's very good, though you used to make better stories. ![Shocked Shocked](smileys/smiley3.gif)
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The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:36 |
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:52 |
OMG ITZ EVEN BETTR THAN PART I!!! ![Clap Clap](smileys/smiley32.gif) The only thing I didn't like about it was die Kids aus der Kindergarten.
Edited by Vompatti - January 27 2010 at 12:53
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The Sleepwalker
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Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
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Points: 15141
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:57 |
Danke, Patti! ![Big smile Big smile](smileys/smiley4.gif)
What exactly didn't you like about the kindergarten kids? ![Shocked Shocked](smileys/smiley3.gif)
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Vompatti
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 13:02 |
They run around on the yard in large groups and shout silly things in a very loud voice. Frankly I don't think such disgusting creatures should appear in stories at all.
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The Sleepwalker
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Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: January 27 2010 at 13:07 |
Do you really need to whine about everything?
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