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progkidjoel View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 05:39
Should I make a story about my love for Vompatti?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 05:42
Yes!!Smile
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 05:47
Its a think piece about life in the suburbs. It is a spoken word story, no pictures!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:04
I once loved a wombat
A wombat I did
They called him Vompatti
Vompatti, the kid!

Vompatti was ugly,
And smelt like a shoe
He had dirty fingernails
And rotten teeth, too!

I met my love
In the cold part of June
He was there on the street,
playing bassoon!

He approached me and asked
For some wieners and peas
So I told him I loved him
And he said he loved me!

We walked through the park
And he bought me some milk
He told me my hair was
Much softer than silk!

But Vompatti my love,
Was lying you see
For I did not love him
For he could not love me!

Vompatti did tell me
"but I love you so!
If you will not keep me,
Then where shall I go?"

I said to him,
"Get out, get out you poo!
You do not love me,
And I will NEVER love you!"

He told me he'd kill me
And burn down my house
If my decision would be
To deny him his spouse!

So I called the police
But he ripped out the phone cord,
So I reached for my gun
And he reached for his sword!

I laughed at his blade, I said
"You'll never beat me!"
But as I was laughing,
I needed to pee!

So I went to the toilet
And urinated, I did!
But there was Vompatti,
Vompatti the kid!

I jumped in my shock,
And Vompatti stabbed me!
So I shot him in the face,
And continued to pee!

But then came a Dutchman,
A midget biker one!
And he said to us,
"LOL CAN I JOIN IN ON TEH FUN"

So the battle continued,
Epic and bold,
It went from summer to winter,
And the days became cold.

No-one had won,
And no-one had lost,
But soon the anger faded,
Along with the frost!

For I shot Vompatti,
And Vompatti stabbed me
And the midget Dutch biker
Did yell out with glee:

"Now why are we fighting,
When we could put on Dream Theater?!"
And with his last breath,
Vompatti turned up the heater.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:11
Wow, Joel!Shocked
Great story, and some part are just amazing!Big smile

Originally posted by JOEL JOEL wrote:

We walked through the park And he bought me some milk 
He told me my hair was 
Much softer than silk!  

I can already see what this scene would look like. 
So romantic!Heart

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:15
No pictures?! What were you thinkging???!!! Dead Thumbs Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:19
Even without pictures Joel's story is much better than your story, Vompatti.Stern Smile

Edited by floydispink - January 27 2010 at 06:20
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:22
It doesn't even rhyme! Angry
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:24
Neither did your arse magna!Shocked
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:27
IT WASN'T EVEN MEANT TO!!! Angry (And it's ARS magna, you fool!!! Angry)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:35
Is it that easy to make you whine!?Stern Smile
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:38
I WAS NOT WHINING!!!!! Angry
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 06:42
Aaaaaaw, poor whiny wombat.Embarrassed
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 09:59
A Verse-by-Verse Commentary on a Recent Story

1.
You may really have loved me
I cannot deny
But to call me a kid?
Why, why, oh why? Disapprove

2.
It's true that I'm ugly
It's true that I smell
But my teeth are NOT rotten
They bite perfectly well! Big smile

3.
I never met no one
Who'd love me at all
I played the bassoon
No one answered my call. Cry

4.
And I'm much too shy
To ask anyone
For wieners or peas
Or indeed for their love! Embarrassed

5.
I just can't afford
To buy milk to strangers
Not even if their hair
Was softer than a manger filled with straws and stuff. Thumbs Down

6.
And about my love
I would never lie
Why would I do that
Why, why, oh why? Confused

7.
And if you don't love me
I don't give a rat's rear end
I'll go where I please
Regardless of whether you love me or not, my friend. Stern Smile

8.
Even if I don't love you
I would not let you tell me
To get out, in fact I'd
Ignore you and ring a bell, whee! Clown

9.
I may very well kill you
And burn down your house
But if I will, it's not because
You didn't marry me, you lousy mouse! Angry

10.
I don't have a sword
To wield against you
And you don't have a gun
You disgusting little . . . eww! Dead

11., 12., 13.
I actually like these verses
Because they're mostly about
Urinating, which is something
I really enjoy a lot. Smile

14.
There was no midget biker
I think you made him up
And besides, even if there had been
I would have tied him to a volcano that's about to erupt. Evil Smile

15.
The battle was short
Less than an hour
It took less time
Than it takes milk to get sour if kept in the fridge. Ying Yang

16.
I was the winner
You were the loser
Then there was this one chick
But we had to lose her. Unhappy

17.
I would not let you shoot me
Not with a gun
But perhaps with a camera
It could be jolly fun! Smile

18.
I think we both know Dream Theater
Does not rhyme with heater
So why didn't you use a sentence
Ending with the word "meter"? Ermm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:17
Is this your true arse magna?
It's very good, though you used to make better stories.Shocked
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:36



















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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:52
OMG ITZ EVEN BETTR THAN PART I!!! Shocked Clap

The only thing I didn't like about it was die Kids aus der Kindergarten. Thumbs Down

Edited by Vompatti - January 27 2010 at 12:53
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 12:57
Danke, Patti!Big smile

What exactly didn't you like about the kindergarten kids?Shocked
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 13:02
They run around on the yard in large groups and shout silly things in a very loud voice. Frankly I don't think such disgusting creatures should appear in stories at all. Dead
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2010 at 13:07
Do you really need to whine about everything?Stern Smile
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