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Vompatti 
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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 Posted: December 30 2009 at 17:59 |
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Dr. Dingo,
what is the best way to end a short story about a man living behind a reverse vending machine?
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The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 03 2009
Location: The Netherlands
Status: Offline
Points: 15141
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Posted: January 01 2010 at 17:00 |
HELP ME DOCTOR, I RLY CANNOT TAWLK NORMAL FO SUM REASON!!! ZOMG, IS THERE ANY WAY U CAN CURE MEH DOCTOR!!??  |
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horsewithteeth11
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Kentucky
Status: Offline
Points: 24598
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Posted: January 01 2010 at 23:59 |
Katya just left. And I feel refreshed in body, mind, and soul.  Also, she said she's not going to go see Vompatti because he smells funny.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 16:25 |
 birdwithteeth11 wrote:
Katya just left. And I feel refreshed in body, mind, and soul.
Also, she said she's not going to go see Vompatti because he smells funny.
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Ah back in the surgery. Us Docs have long vacations y'all know. Actually that's a lie. I've been working double shift for a fortnight and I'm real p*ssed off.
I felt I should answer this one first. When Katya says Vompatti smells funny, that's just a relative comment. She says it's the way his nostrils twitch and his extensive whiskers vibrate in the act of smelling that appears funny to her. Oh, and the fact that he stinks like a polecat as well, of course.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 16:26 |
Vompatti wrote:
Dr. Dingo,
what is the best way to end a short story about a man living behind a reverse vending machine?
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Type a period.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 16:31 |
floydispink wrote:
HELP ME DOCTOR, I RLY CANNOT TAWLK NORMAL FO SUM REASON!!!
ZOMG, IS THERE ANY WAY U CAN CURE MEH DOCTOR!!?? |
Yeah sure.
But I must warn you that your standard of speech is already above that of 95 per cent of English high school kids so it's not that bad.
What you need to do is listen to the crystal clear enunciation of Jon Anderson and copy him until your testicles rise and join your Adam's Apple to make a trio of spherical things. When this conjugation occurs, you know that you can speak properly again, but your sex life is over as you know it.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 17:38 |
el dingo wrote:
birdwithteeth11 wrote:
Katya just left. And I feel refreshed in body, mind, and soul.
Also, she said she's not going to go see Vompatti because he smells funny.
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Ah back in the surgery. Us Docs have long vacations y'all know. Actually that's a lie. I've been working double shift for a fortnight and I'm real p*ssed off.
I felt I should answer this one first. When Katya says Vompatti smells funny, that's just a relative comment. She says it's the way his nostrils twitch and his extensive whiskers vibrate in the act of smelling that appears funny to her. Oh, and the fact that he stinks like a polecat as well, of course. |
   
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 17:47 |
^
She said some very unflattering things about Birdwithteeth11 too. 
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 17:48 |
^ Well, to be perfectly honest, she didn't smell that good either.
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 17:51 |
It's the close proximity to all the antiseptic we keep in the anteroom. It makes even the most gorgeous creatures whiff a little after a while... 
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 10 2010 at 18:53 |
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Dear Katya,
I'm sorry if I offended you by implying that I didn't enjoy your scent as much as I could have. You smell so different from anyone I've ever met that I probably just need some time to get used to it. I didn't really mean what I said about your scent at all! (For a moment I thought your naughty bits smellt like wet mud, but now I'm fairly certain I was wrong.) I'm sure you didn't mean any of that polecat nonsense either. I hope we'll mate again?
- Vompatti
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el dingo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2008
Location: Norwich UK
Status: Offline
Points: 7053
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Posted: January 11 2010 at 00:23 |
^
Vompatti, as your doctor I am seriously concerned about the delusional nature of your psychiatric profile. I happen to know that if the money isn't right, Katya is very selective in her mating practices.
I also know that you have no cash. Therefore I believe you are suffering from delusions. If I were you I'd see a doctor.
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It's not that I can't find worth in anything, it's just that I can't find worth in enough.
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 11 2010 at 04:18 |
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^ I happen to have more than 50 (!) euros in my wallet, and it's only a matter of time when the horses will run as they should and make me rich. Katya knows this and has been very supportive.
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Luca Pacchiarini
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 08 2009
Location: home
Status: Offline
Points: 530
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Posted: January 11 2010 at 05:12 |
Doctor, my exam (English Literature) was postponed from today to tomorrow.
How can I sleep well tonight?
This night I dreamt Peter Gabriel asking me about Pater's influence on Osacr Wilde  |
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The Runaway
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144
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Posted: January 11 2010 at 08:12 |
el dingo wrote:
I hate (actually I really hate) to quote the song Blowin' Free, but: "Her hair was golden brown, blowin' free, like a cornfield... you can always try, but it's impossible to find her."
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Hey! |
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 11 2010 at 17:36 |
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Dr. Dingo,
there's something wrong with my headphones. I'm fairly certain it's the cord, and more specifically the volume control attached to it. When I squeeze it, it sometimes gets a bit louder, but it sounds like most of the frequencies are missing. Would it work if I cut off the volume control part and attached to wires to each other (there are three of them)? The model of the headphones is Sennheiser HD 435. I'm not sure if there's a replacement cable available, and even if there is, I probably can't afford it unless the horses . . .
- Vompatti
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 12 2010 at 06:42 |
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IMPORTANT: I already ordered a new pair of headphones, please ignore the above post!
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Luca Pacchiarini
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 08 2009
Location: home
Status: Offline
Points: 530
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Posted: January 12 2010 at 10:14 |
if you didnt tell me, I would probably have spent every day and night of my existence to solve your problem.
I'm glad it's not needed though...
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 12 2010 at 10:15 |
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Dr. Dingo,
would you please ignore the above post, it is silly.
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
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Posted: January 17 2010 at 12:15 |
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Dr. Dingo,
where can I find someone who would cut my hair for a reasonable price?
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