Old news... but I do love hypocrites... and the GOP gives us SO DAMN many of them.
enjoy... hopefully she was worth your career idiot...
From: Mark Sanford
To: Maria
Date: Fri, 4 Jul 2008 03:09:44 +0000
Dearest,
You
are glorious and I hope you really understand that. You do not need a
therapist to help you figure your place in the world. You are special
and unique and fabulous in a whole host of ways that are worth a much
longer conversation. To be continued ...
Have been having a few
email problems as I am getting email through an aircard at the farm,
where access to computer world is more than tough. Please let me know
if you have gotten my last two eamils (sic) so I know it is working in
getting to your part of the world ...
Another glorious day
outside. Hope you are doing well, and am anxious to hear about your
week. Know that I miss you. Unbeleivably (sic) hard to imagine it has
been a week. Please also send your mailing address as I want to send
you an insignificant something next week when I am back in civilization
that I think you might find interesting given our conversation.
Want to write an indepth note with some thoughts on our visit when I know you are getting these emails. Hugs and much love. M
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From: Maria
Sent: Friday, July 04, 2008 4:26 PM
To: Mark Sanford
Subject: RE:
My beloved, (hope you also change the dearest ...)
I’am
(sic) reading your last two mails sitting outside with a great seaview
here in Ilhabela, a beautiful island near Sao Paulo. Have been thinking
of you while watching the beautiful blue sea (a) great part of my day
and remembering with a great smile on my face, the time we had spent
together. As I told you before, you brought happiness and love to my
life and (I) will take you forever in my heart. I wasn’t aware till we
met last week, the strong feelings I had for you, and believe me, I
haven’t felt this since I was in my teen ages, when afterwards I got
married. I do love you, I can feel it in my heart, and although I don’t
know if we’ll ever be able to meet again this has been the best that
has happened to me in a long time You made me realized (sic) how you
feel when you realy (sic) love somebody and how much you want to be
beside the beloved. Last Friday I would had stayed embrassing (sic) and
kissing you forever.
Don’t know why you think you bore me with
the description of your farm. I am an urban girl but that doesn’t
inhibit me from loving other things, specially if they are the ones you
love. I was able to imagine the place with every single detail you
wrote and had trassmitted (sic) me the love you have for your farm. It
sounds to be a great and peaceful place and loved you had shared it
with me.
Thanks for your beautiful words, I don’t know if I do
need or not therapy but I have to find my new place in this new stage
of my life. Life has been very generous with me and I want to return at
least a little bit of what I have been given. I have time and think
helping others who haven’t been as lucky as me will do me fine.
My
address is (deleted by The State). It will be great finding at home
once I am back, whatever you send me, I’ll keep it near my bed so as to
feel you nearer.
Miss you so much... love you from the deepest of my heart. Sweet kisses.
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From:
To:
Subject: RE:
Date: Tue, 8 Jul 2008 01:42:46 -0400
Beloved back to you...
Got
back an hour ago to civilization and am now in Columbia after what was
for me a glorious break from reality down at the farm. No phones
ringing and tangible evidence of a day’s labors. Though I have started
every day by 6 this morning woke at 4:30, I guess since my body knew it
was the last day, and I went out and ran the excavator with lights
until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on earth, there
is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the
cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the
background, the tranquility that comes with being in a virtual
wilderness of trees and marsh, the day breaking and vibrant pink coming
alive in the morning clouds — and getting to build something with each
scoop of dirt. It is admittedly weird but one of my more favorite ways
of escaping the norms, constant phone calls and formalities that go
with the office — and it probably fits with my weakness in doing rather
than being — though you opened up a new chapter last week wherein I was
happy and content just being. Last point worth further discussion.
Afternoon projects had me outside and by days (sic) end I pretty much
looked like a homeless person ... but in this case a very content one.
Enough about my love of heavy equipment and woods at sunrise ...
While
I was getting exhausted with one project after another at Coosaw work
week, you were basking (I’m certain gloriously) on the beach..
Sounds great, hope to hear more about what sounds a great spot.
Will
now finally get some sleep and write you a longer note with a few more
profound thoughts tomorrow or Wednesday. In the meantime I send my love
and hope you know I am thinking of you.. M
P.S.
I do not want to raise expectations, when I say I will send something
insignificant I promise I will do as I say! It wont (sic) be worthy of
bedside placement ... was just going to find the movie the Holiday as
we had spoken of it last Thursday. Its music was pleasant and made me
think of you — its mood and the notion of a holiday (wrapped up in our
case over two days) certainly fit as well ... (though our visit in some
ways for me was as well less of a holiday than it was uncovering and
realization of some things and feelings that again are worth longer
conversation)
Had also hoped to find the cd of a song that played
as I was flying home and also20made (sic) me think of you. Who knows if
I can find the music ... so all you may be stuck with is a long
released movie — and if you put it by your bed I really be worried!
Love you, good night and kisses back to you ...
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From: Maria
Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2008 8:14 PM
To: Mark Sanford
Subject: RE:
My love,
I
decided to rent a car and went by myself to the other side of the
Island where it is located one of the best hotels. It’s name is DPNY
Hotel and I find it quite interesting. I had lunch there in a
restaurant on the beach with great seaview. I sat under a palm and ate
a mixed green salad with grilled abacaxi (pineapple) and honey. in the
afternoon I sunbathe and read on the beach. I ve started here “The age
of turbulence” from Alan Greenspan which I highly recomend (sic) you.
At five I left back to the small town had a coffee with pao de queijo
(cheese bread which is something tipycal (sic) from Brazl (sic) and
it’s delicious) read some magazines, walked around and finally back to
meu Pousada that is hotel.
In the Island is taking place the
sailing week and Rolex competition and this was the reason for choosing
the place and also why luckily I am most of the time by my own. It may
sound bad but it’s how I feel it. As I told you I shouldn’t have done
this trip but I would have felt worst if I wouldn’t have come because
it was too over the date, he is a very nice guy, great heart ... but
unfortunately I am not in love with him ... You are my love ...
something hard to believe even for myself as it’s also a kind of
impossible love, not only because of distance but situation.
Sometimes
you don’t choose things, they just happen ... I can’t redirect my
feelings and I am very happy with mine towards you. Hope you have had a
good day, guess with much work.
Send you all my love and goodnight kisses. Sweet dreams from down south. I’ll dream with you.
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From: Mark Sanford
To: Maria
Subject: RE:
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:24:54 -0400
Sweetest,
It was indeed a long day. I am most jealous of your salad under the palm tree.
Three
thoughts in one note now that I have a moment. One the travel schedule
is about to get real busy (and this distresses me for the way it may
well make it more difficult to get your notes over the next few weeks),
two unfortunately all the feelings you describe are mutual, and three
where do we go from here?
One, tomorrow leave at 5 am for New
York and meetings. Will think about you on its streets and wish I was
going to be there later in the month when you are there. Tomorrow night
back to Philadelphia for the start of the National Governor’s
Conference through the weekend. Back to Columbia for Tuesday and then
on Wednesday, as I think I had told you, taking the family to China,
Tibet, Nepal, India, Thailand and then back through Hong Kong on world
wind tour. Few days home then to Bahamas for 5 days on a friends boat
for the last break of the summer. The following weekend have been asked
to spend it out in Aspen, Colorado with McCain — which has kicked up
the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home.
Two,
mutual feelings. I have been specializing in staying focused on
decisions and actions of the head for a long time now — and you have my
heart. You have oh so many attributes that pulls it in this direction.
Do you really comprehend how beautiful your smile is? Have you been
told lately how warm your eyes are and how they softly glow with the
special nature of your soul. I remember Jenny, or someone close to me,
once commenting that while my mom was pleasant and warm it was sad she
had never accomplished anything of significance. I replied that they
were wrong because she had the ultimate of all gifts — and that was the
ability to love unconditionally. The rarest of all commodities in this
world is love. It is that thing that we all yearn for at some level —
to be simply loved unconditionally for nothing more than who we are —
not what we can get, give or become. There are but 50 governors in my
country and outside of the top spot, this is as high as you can go in
the area I have invested the last 15 years of my life — my getting here
came as no small measure because I had that foundation of love and
support so critical to getting up in the morning and feeling you could
give and risk because you already had a full tank of love in the
emotional bank account. Since our first meeting there in a wind swept
somewhat open air dance spot in Punta del Este, I felt that you had
that same rare attribute. Above all else I love that inner beauty about
you. That gift of yours is going to make a tremendous difference in
(The State deleted sons’ names) life — and in anyone’s life who is
blest to be touched by yours — you need to rest very comfortably in
that fact. As I mentioned in our last visit, while I did not need love
fifteen years ago — as the battle scars of life and aging and politics
have worn on this has become a real need of mine. You have a particular
grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that is
so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the
ability to give magnificently gentle kisses, or that I love your tan
lines or that I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you
holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded
glow of night’s light — but hey, that would be going into the sexual
details we spoke of at the steakhouse at dinner — and unlike you I
would never do that!
Three and finally, while all the things
above are all too true — at the same time we are in a hopelessly — or
as you put it impossible — or how about combine and simply say
hopelessly impossible situation of love. How in the world this
lightening [sic] strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure. As I
have said to you before I certainly had a special feeling about you
from the first time we met, but these feelings were contained and I
genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and the comparing of all too
many personal notes (and yes this is true even if you did occasionally
tantalize me with sexual details over the years!) — but it was all
safe. Where we are is not. I have thought about it and in some ways
feel I let you down in letting these complications come into a
friendship that I hope will last till death. In all my life I have
lived by a code of honor and at a variety of levels know I have crossed
lines I would have never imagined. I wish I could wish it away, but
this soul-mate feel I alluded too is real and in that regard I sure
don’t want to be the person complicating your life. I looked to where I
often look for advice and counsel, and in I Corinthians 13 it simply
says that, “ Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful,
it is not arrogant or rude, Love does not insist on its own way, it is
not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in the wrong, but
rejoices in the right, Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things and endures all things”. In this regard it is action
that goes well beyond the emotion of today or tomorrow and in this
light I want to look for ways to show love in helping you to live a
better — not more complicated life. I want to help (one of Maria’s
sons) with film guys that might help his career, etc. I also don’t want
you walking20away (sic) from some guy (I take it the younger guy you
mentioned a t dinner) because of me — and what we both have to see as
an impossible situation. I better stop now least this really sound like
the Thornbirds — wherein I was always upset with Richard Chamberlain
for not dropping his ambitions and running into Maggie’s arms. The
bottom line is two fold, my heart wants me to get on a plane tonight
and to be in your loving arms — my head is saying how do we put the
Genie back in the bottle because I sure don’t want to be encumbering
you, or your options or your life. Put differently, given I love you, I
don’t want to be part of the reason you are having less than an ideal
week in what sounds like a cool spot.
Lastly I also suspect I
feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly
never covered before — so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure
all this out please let me know ... In the meantime please sleep
soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries
out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch
of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul. I love
you ... sleep tight. M
PS. I will make it a
point in NY tomorrow to drop by a store and get that movie I promised
to send your way ... I am encouraged to know you will not keep it
beside the bed least we have tangible evidence of two pathetic figures
missing each other far too much to live a few thousand miles apart!
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From: Maria
To: Mark Sanford
Subject: RE:
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:22:29 +0000
You
have not brought complication or are not bringing complication to my
life, on the contrary you’ve fullfiled (sic) me with happiness and made
me aware how you can feel when you love somebody. I can think with my
head but only feel with my heart so I can’t avoid it even knowing is
hopelessly impossible. The guy is the one I told you ,just three years
younger than me, but I am not in love and won’t fall in love with time
so I have to continue my way ... be alone for some time and if I am
lucky enough will someday feel towards somebody, what I today feel for
you. At least you made me realized it can happen.
I don’t know if
I did understood (sic) well about what was unsafe or not safe. Before
our mails use to have other contents ... if you want to go back to that
and don’t write love things and so on because is not safe for you it’s
ok with me, i (sic) love you and by no way would do something that can
harm you, so please let me know.
I don’t know how we figure all
this out and I am not interested in knowing. I prefer to think we’ll
see each other again somewhere sometime in this life and in next. Will
be missing you till then... . .
Have a great trip with the ones
you love ... they are the kind of trips you will never forget and for
your boys will be unworthable (sic) not only because of the places they
will visit but for sharing all that time with you.
Send you millions of kisses that will last till we get in touch again. best wishes from the deepest of my heart.
P.S.:
I don’t want to put the genius (sic) back in the bottle because I truly
believe in freedom. I never gave you sexual details but now you don’t
need to imagine you can close your eyes and just remember. I’ll do the
same.