Smells Like... What?

A hobo jumping up and down in a mangrove swamp smells like teenagers having spring break at a Trailer park in Joplin Missouri.

Five or six people sitting on the ground playing tic-tac-toe and watching a local school band try to play bebop improvisations with a Casio keyboard and two oil barrels smells like an Aunt Bertha Waffle Zone on red alert.

The impending doom of the Labour Government in the UK smells like reruns of the Smurfs and a cooler full of pineapple juice and sliced ham.

A kids meal from Burger King that's been left out in the sun too long on a hot summers day in the town of Turlock California in a block of the downtown area that's frequented by transvestite transexual midgets in town for a Michael Jackson lookalike contest smells like Spinal Tap's dressing room after a food fight and a spontaneous farting session.

A get together of all the FoxNews talking heads and their guests smells like a special extended edition of Sartrean hell.

A woof-woof buffet and really nice manifesto about cupboards smells like another fine dining experience at your local greasy spoon or back alley dumpster.

The aroma of burning coals laid upon the breast of a defeated dragon created by Tolkien smells of the victory of the New York Yankees over the hated Boston Red Sox as played in the head of the Yankee fan although his body smells of beer,week old hot dogs and soiled adult diapers.

The halitosis suffered by Clark Gable on the set of an old movie directed by a fetid pile of acetate smells like a can of sunlight parade and a container of ozone pool fudge.

The inside of Caesar's jockstrap after he had crossed the crappiest part of the Rubicon smells of a lyric from one of Phil Collins' cheesy songs that for whatever reason the masses gleefully bought into.

The 19th-Century Charles Dickens novel: The Drummer's Betrayal of the Fanboys and Freaks smells of a convention for goths and emo fans for where they can trade fashion and makeup secrets that can be passed onto the next generation of mediocre musical groups that the sheep like public will buy up for they are told to do so by the all mighty Ticketmaster/Clear Channel megabeast.