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Pnoom! 
Forum Senior Member 
Joined: September 02 2006 Location: OH Status: Offline Points: 4981 |
 Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:26 |
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This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f**k a hooker. ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son. ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive." ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon! The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later. ATHIEST DAD: Hey! ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life." ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want! ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom. ATHIEST DAD: Why not? ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f**king eachother in there. ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here? ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet. ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me! Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house. ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside! ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there! The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods. RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian! THE END Scary, isn't it? |
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:27 |
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Reported.
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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moreitsythanyou
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member Joined: April 23 2006 Location: NYC Status: Offline Points: 11682 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:31 |
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fstdt, eh folly?
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 <font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR] |
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:39 |
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who wrote that
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:40 |
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It's from ololfundies and it's very old.
Use question marks, this is a civilized forum for civilized people, who do not download carriages. Edited by Henry Plainview - February 15 2009 at 23:42 |
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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Leningrad
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 15 2006 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 7991 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:45 |
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why are you insulting my friends
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Leningrad
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 15 2006 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 7991 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:45 |
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SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I BAN YOU TOO
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:46 |
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Reported.
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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Leningrad
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 15 2006 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 7991 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:46 |
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or, alternatively,
Oh, so you just think we're insulting them for no reason, is that it?
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:51 |
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This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were Taoists/Zen Buddhists/Shamans/Ancient Hindus.
CHILL KID: Mom, I'm going to meditate for six years without eating. CHILL MOM: Holy sh*t. CHILL KID: However, I'm going to take LSD and transcend time, so those six years will all melt away and become just one single eternal moment. CHILL MOM: Whatever, just be home for dinner. [takes a hit from a bong loaded with salvia] The CHILL kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later. CHILL DAD: Hey! CHILL MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since fetuses don't count as human life. (It's true.) CHILL DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want! CHILL MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom. CHILL DAD: Why not? CHILL MOM: There are FIFTY BILLION gay men f**king eachother in there. CHILL DAD: Why are they here? CHILL MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet. CHILL DAD: Okay, that's fine with me! CHILL MOM: Jesus Christ, I was kidding. CHILL DAD: Well whatever, I chill with anything. CHILL MOM: Are you chill with me stabbing you? CHILL DAD: Well I don't exist to feel any pain anyway, so why not. CHILL MOM: God you're f**ked. CHILL DAD: If you say so. Look out for that purple elephant, by the way. [takes a toke from a pipe loaded with DMT] Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house. CHILL NEIGHBOR: Come quick, the last Christian is claiming to be Jesus come again! CHILL MOM: We'll be right there! The CHILL couple quickly take off all of their clothes. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is standing ontop of a car, shouting to the Heavens his testimony, his claim to be Jesus. A crowd of awed CHILL stand around him, all naked. JESUS: Now, all of you, understand that I AM GOD! RANDOM CHILL: God f**king Almighty it took you long enough to figure that out. THE END Scary, isn't it? |
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Pnoom!
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 02 2006 Location: OH Status: Offline Points: 4981 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:54 |
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He doesn't have to explain himself. Not to you, at least. |
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:54 |
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too lazy to fix bad grammars
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: February 15 2009 at 23:59 |
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lmfao look what I found (probably in response to the argument "everyone is born atheist, you must be taught to be religious"):
No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims. |
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Pnoom!
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 02 2006 Location: OH Status: Offline Points: 4981 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:01 |
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Atheists are another sect of Muslims? f**king  |
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:08 |
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You shouldn't take that website very seriously.
I am going to bed because I can think of nothing clever to say, if I wake up banned I am blaming you.
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:11 |
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http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1
this page is genius, there are too many hilarious ones to quote but there's one that's funny until the end where it's just scary. This kid came out and told his dad he was homosexual, and the dad told his son he would go to hell for being gay and he went on about how he thought his son's therapist was to blame and the media and whatever, and it turns out this kid killed himself. |
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:16 |
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lmfffffffffao
[One Christian speaking to another] You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don't accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian. |
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moreitsythanyou
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member Joined: April 23 2006 Location: NYC Status: Offline Points: 11682 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:32 |
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I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she
left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16
and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that
he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I
want my son to stop being so secretive!
This is my personal favorite. |
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<font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR] |
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:34 |
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That is good, it's also one of the very few that is believable and not likely some insane trolling/bad joke.
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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Pnoom!
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 02 2006 Location: OH Status: Offline Points: 4981 |
Posted: February 16 2009 at 00:34 |
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Shakespeare wrote: