Bad jokes...

A man in his 90's, for a Special Birthday Gift from his Grandsons, is sent a Stripper to his home to entertain him.  After she rings the bell of his home, she informs him that his grandsons sent her as a special birthday gift, to provide her services.  The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?"  She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex".  “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

I'm stuck on you.

I'm not a complete idiot - there are some parts still to be found.

^ that is true, you're not terrible at all.

I tell a good joke.

Two newfs are driving, both enjoying a bottle of black horse, when a cop pulls them over.  The newf in the passenger seat says "he's got us now by, what are we gonna do?".  

The driver assures the passenger that they have nothing to worry about and tells him to follow his lead and say nothing.  

So, the driver peals the lable off the bottle of beer, licks the back of the lable, sticks it to his forehead, and puts the bottle under his seat; the passenger follows suit.  The police officer approaches the drivers window and asks for his licence and registration.  

As the driver gives the officer his info the officer asks whether he or the passenger had been drinking at all that night, and the driver points to his forehead and responds, "Oh no sir, we's on da patch ya see!".

• What do clouds wear under their clothes?
• Thunderware.