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The Intelligent People's Thread

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Dean View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 14 2008 at 17:03
is that the sound of one and clipping?
What?
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Vompatti View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 15 2008 at 11:50
If you touch your thumb with the other fingers, isn't it one hand clapping?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 25 2008 at 17:17
I just realized that I might not be quite as intelligent as I thought I was: I can't subtract! For example,

86 - 49 = ?

To subtract would be to take 49 apples out of 86 apples and the answer would be the number of apples left. But instead of subtracting I keep adding to 49 apples until I have 86 apples and the answer is the number of apples I've added.

Does this make me an iddiot?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 25 2008 at 18:19
No, it makes you someone without a spell checker;
No, it makes you someone with too many apples;
No, you don't make idiots, they are born that way;
No, at least you didn't use oranges;
No, an idiot would use a calculator;
No, idiot would count on their fingers, but only if they could find another 8 idiots to help;
 
however,
 
Yes, intelligent people would only need 24 apples.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 16 2008 at 15:51
I don't really have that many apples. I wish I did, but I don't. Still - no matter how many apples I have - I always wish I had more. Yet I have so many apples that I feel guilty for wanting more. I wish apples didn't exist so I wouldn't have to worry about how many of them I have. Also, I feel sad for all the people who don't have any apples at all. How much less sorrow there would be if there weren't any apples! This is true of most things, not just apples. People would be much happier if nothing would exist.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 17 2008 at 05:49
I have three apple trees, working on the principle that I would be self-sufficient in apples for some part of the year at least. Unfortunately the result is far from satisfactory with some years bearing more fruit than I can cope with, and others, such as this year, yielding nothing of any worth. Give a hungry man an apple tree and he'll have apples sometimes, but give him money and he can buy apples every day.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 22 2008 at 17:45
What's the best way for an intelligent person to make money? I want to make some.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaeopteryx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 22 2008 at 19:47
A printer should do the job.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 22 2008 at 19:51
What if I want to make the kind of imaginary money that banks use?

Wait, is there a way I can edit the number that appears on the ATM machine?

Can I get more money on my account by withdrawing a negative sum?


Edited by Vompatti - October 22 2008 at 20:01
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Dean View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 22 2008 at 19:53
the way the economy is going, the paper may be worth more unprinted.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Petrovsk Mizinski Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 03 2008 at 02:02
Can it print without ink?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 05 2008 at 20:17
What is ink anyway? Is it possible to make ink out of household products?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Petrovsk Mizinski Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 08 2008 at 00:08
Can you explain these 'household products' to me?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 08 2008 at 10:57
'Household products' = products appearing in a household = coffee, potato chips, oil paint etc.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaeopteryx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 09 2008 at 10:39
Instead of potato chips, I would try looking for ink in doilies and napkin rings.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 09 2008 at 10:56
Now that I think about it, there's also a lot of ink in books. Is there a way to collect it?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 09 2008 at 11:31
Many years ago Newspaper ink was made from re-cycled engine oil, which is why your hands would be come blackened after reading the newspaper. Of course any coloured solution can be used as ink, many such substances can be found in the typical domestic habitat, the most obvious of which would be food colourings, but emulsions made from suspending ground powders in a suitable solvent (coffee grinds in water for example) would work equally as well.
 
As most school boys should know - non-coloured liquids found in the kitchen make excellent invisible inks, such as lemon juice or milk - all that's needed is the application of heat to make the invisible visible.
 
Removing the ink from books is trickier (though why would you want to commit such a crime? - shades of Fahrenheit 451 if you ask me Cry):
Originally posted by United States Patent 4076578 United States Patent 4076578 wrote:

]Waste paper, particularly newsprint, is treated to release adhering ink particles (e.g. pigment carbon) from the paper fibres, and the ink solids (and organic contaminants) are then preferentially collected on the surface of inserted non-soap solids which have an affinity for, and are of larger size than, the ink solids. The ink-coated solids can be removed from the system by suitable physical means such as hydrocyclones, screens or decantation.
 
What?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2008 at 19:07
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Removing the ink from books is trickier (though why would you want to commit such a crime? - shades of Fahrenheit 451 if you ask me Cry

Of course I would only do it to worthless books (old school books, bad novels, the stuff that universities print etc). The collected ink could be used to print more copies of The Counterfeiters by André Gide.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vompatti Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 13 2009 at 20:28
Someone please say something intelligent before I do!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaeopteryx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 13 2009 at 20:37
Originally posted by Vompatti Vompatti wrote:

Someone please say something intelligent before I do!


Every relieved novel complements a fascinating eye. Over an early smell dances a dreamed bucket. Our documentary noses the added nick with the socialist. A wish attacks beside the calm glass.
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