The Intelligent People's Thread

If that's the case:
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yo bizzaz i is liek da smrtzt oudda alla yall SNAPP dang
kohntarkosz

Some of you may have read my post on the previous page where I stated that I've fallen in love with someone whose name I don't know even though I should. Since this is the intelligent people's thread and not a pathetic romantics' thread, I decided to solve my tricky problem by intelligent means, trusting my never-failing logic and almost-never-failing hunch like any hard-boiled private eye would. Here's what happened:

The sky hung above me like a glooming premonition when I stepped out of my flat into the street. The mystery lady sure hadn't left many traces. I decided to start my search at the regular place, Huck's.
"Who's dead?" Huck asked while pouring me a glass of coke.
"Don't get your hopes up. I'm looking for a girl. A live one."
"Take a pick." Huck gave a quick glance around the empty bar. The business was, as always, slow.
"This time I know the one", I said. "Black hair, big brown eyes, thin eyebrows, smiles like a cat."
"Doesn't ring a bell", Huck said. I knew he hadn't seen her. When it comes to women Huck's bell tends to ring loud and clear. I thanked him and left.
The girl I was looking for could have been anywhere. Last time I had seen her at the university, and that's where I was heading next. Groups of students were scattered around the entrance hall. Noticing a girl wearing a black Green Day shirt I recalled my loved one talking about Green Day. It was a long shot, but I took it anyway.
"Not many Green Day fans around anymore", I said to the girl.
"You wish!" she squeaked.
"You know any?" I continued.
"Do I!"
"Well?"
"Well what?" she whined. She was really beginning to get on my nerves.
"Can you give me some names?" I asked.
"What kind of a sick weirdo are you?" she screamed. Her fellow students turned to look but soon got back to their conversations.
"Now look, missy", I said toughly, "we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You just blew your chances for the easy way, so I guess we'll be doing it the hard way."
Suddenly I saw someone approaching me from the back. I went down with the first blow.
I woke up in a ladies' restroom surrounded by a bunch of skinny girls with extensive makeup on their faces. It didn't take me long to realize what kind of trouble I had gotten into. I had been kidnapped by a group of angry Green Day fans and it was only a matter of time before they'd start polishing their fingernails or cutting themselves with razor blades.
The door opened slowly and a girl, apparently their leader, stepped in. I had to blink once or twice before I could believe my eyes: It was she, my loved my, the girl I had been looking for all along. I still couldn't remember her name.
"I think we've met", she said elegantly, as if she had known it was me one of her gang members had knocked out.
"I'm afraid your name escaped me", I said. "One of your friends gave me a good knockout."
"Oh, poor thing", she apologized. "My name is P----. Ring a bell?"
"You bet." If only I could have remembered my own name.

I think I saw her today. I looked at her, then she looked at me, then I looked away, so I'm not really sure if it was her, but I think it was. I'm not sure if she saw me. I hope she didn't see me look away and think I don't love her anymore. Anyway, I'm going to give my speech on Wednesday and blow her mind. I still can't remember my name.* (The story presented above where I hear it is fictional.)

* I meant to write "her name" but instead I wrote "my name." I think this means we're really one and the same and thus meant for each other.

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I just made coffee as brown as her eyes. I feel like an alchemist.


Edited by Vompatti - April 07 2008 at 16:55

I wish I had scented candles in my bathroom at night, so that whenever I took a bath with some intelligent girl the candles would shed light on our perfect bodies and illuminate our philosophical conversations.

poop

The put an end to the story of me and my loved one (which no one seems to care about), I heard her name today. I also heard she has a job, so I'm not sure if I love her anymore.

Vompatti wrote: The put an end to the story of me and my loved one (which no one seems to care about), I heard her name today. I also heard she has a job, so I'm not sure if I love her anymore.

I haven't met her since, but it's great fun trying to imagine her eating grapes. I've never actually seen her eating grapes, but I've got a great imagination when it comes to these kind of things.

I should be studying philosophy right now,
but instead I'm dreaming of grapes and my loved one
eating grapes.
I thought I was only getting bored of literature
but now it seems I'm getting bored of philosophy
as well.
Philosophy should be about finding out the truth,
not about repeating already known or accepted things
in silly ways.
In this moment I feel like studying something real
like mathematics, theoretical physics or
the occult.
I only wish I could get these grapes off my head
and into her mouth, where
her tongue caresses the smooth green grapes
her teeth crush them and release their juice
onto her tongue.
I had a dream I was a grape dancing on her tongue
it was almost like ballet, which I'm not very
good at.
Still, it was a pleasure to be on her guidance,
on her possession. I would gladly live my life
like that.
Oh, to be caressed by her elegant tongue,
her elegant lips! To be crushed into pieces
by her wise teeth.
If we ever get married, I hope she's the kind
of wife that is in charge of everything and
always knows what to do. Not the kind that shouts
and beats you with a hammer whenever she's wrong.
My blessing is I already know what she's like:
wise, intelligent, understanding, caring,
spiritual, mysterious, exciting, attractive,
beautiful, elegant, sensual, cute,
charming and lovely like spring rain on the hood
of an old Dodge.

You mean him: