The Ranting Room

I'm too nice to rant. =)

But if I would, it'd be on the subject of how comedians aren't even expected to try to write funny material any more, either because they've managed to sustain themselves on the money earned for being regular quiz panelists alone or because they watched an episode of The Office and are currently attempting to evoke pathos, even though fully half of them are desperately bad actors. Even the so-called stand-ups are exempt from brainstorming things that are actually funny, often choosing instead to traipse through routines which reciprocate between foul language and embarrassingly dire sexual content - all this is of no use to me because I expect them to try and make me LAUGH, not just to make me feel vaguely awkward or ashamed.

Wireless mouses- when the battery runs out and you don't have a spare, doesn't that just make you want to scream?

Fear not. The Ranting Room will live forever, as there is no end of sh!t to rant about.

HughesJB4 wrote: Blacksword has the spirit of ranting we all need If we lived in a perfect world, would people still rant? I've been asking myself that one for the last 1 minute

This caught my eye, yesterday and I've been spitting fire ever since. In the UK we have an ongoing problem with binge drinking and violent anti social behaviour. A 'significant minority' of 'young people' enjoy fighting and projectile puking after a hard night on the ale...cider, gin, vodka etc etc... Some of city centres have become no go areas for anyone who doesn't fancy a good kicking at chucking out time.

In a flash of inspiration, our impotent, under resourced police force have given up on trying to control this menace. They have officially thrown in the towel and have resorted to trying to calm violent situations down by handing out sweets...

This is not a Chris Morris spoof!!!


Act like children, get treated like children I suppose, but frnakly I'd just give them a good ing hiding, but that's me, old fashioned..

Edited by Blacksword - January 21 2008 at 05:42

I know it's crazy!  

Blacksword wrote: This caught my eye, yesterday and I've been spitting fire ever since. In the UK we have an ongoing problem with binge drinking and violent anti social behaviour. A 'significant minority' of 'young people' enjoy fighting and projectile puking after a hard night on the ale...cider, gin, vodka etc etc... Some of city centres have become no go areas for anyone who doesn't fancy a good kicking at chucking out time. In a flash of inspiration, our impotent, under resourced police force have given up on trying to control this menace. They have officially thrown in the towel and have resorted to trying to calm violent situations down by handing out sweets...

As far as I'm concerned this is a perfectly acceptable solution to an ongoing problem; if I may make so bold as to suggest some sweeties:

Cyanide Cluster
Semtex Toffee
Kick up the arse then blow your head off coffee creams

and that old perennial favorite:

Anthrax Ripple (thanks Monty P for that one)

One of the biggest problems is that many city centre bars are designed with 'speed drinking' in mind. There are even some bars where there are no seats, apart from a few benches around the sides. You are forced to stand up. There are a number of drink servery areas, and girls come round with trays of 'Shooters' They have 'Happy Hours' and 'Three for one deals' It's a p!ssheads paradise! One thing that the government should realise is that for many young men, kicking the crap out of a stranger in the Kebab queue, and throwing up in cab is part of the going out experience. It's deemed to be fun, and not an indication of having nothing between your ears but horse sh!t.

The government has never taken this issue seriously, and because of the revenue they recoup from the drinks industry, the situation will never improve.

Geck0 wrote: I wholeheartedly agree, Andy.  Well said! That is why I avoid Chav Alley in Swindon and go to a club where I know everyone and can trust them.  The pub/club I go to is luckily not near Chav Alley either, so I can avoid it when walking through town.  I hate town centre at nighttimes, even on quiet evenings.

I've not been to Swindon for many years, but it's often compared to Bracknell, where I come from, although I'm sure it cant be THAT bad..

Bracknell town centre is pedestrianised, and is designed so that when the pubs chuck out all the revellers bump into each other by the band stand. It's perfect punch up territory.

Newcastles 'Big Market' is also Hell on Earth. I hate that place! Love Newcastle generally, though.

There used to be one great pub in Bracknell. It was actually an arts centre, but anyone who was a bit different; punks, goths, hippies etc would use it as a pub. There was a great atmosphere there, not to mention a fine selection of real ales. There would be an annual music festival featuring a very broad range of artists. Ian Dury played there, as did Courtney Pine, The Cinematic Orchestra and Bill Brufords Earthworks. There was never any trouble. We would congregate there every Friday night - and most Saturdays for that matter - and it became a community. People formed bands and created a local scene. Good days..

Then the Chavs moved in. They found that if they drank their cider out on the front lawn the police wouldn't hassle them. They would pick fights with the locals and vandalise the building, which was a beautiful old mansion house. But once the cops got wind of what was going on, the management decided it was time for a make over. They decided they didn't want the place used as pub anymore. Now it looks like a car showroom. The music festival doesn't happen, there are no local bands, no local scene, no culture whatsoever. If I were still in my 20's I'd be absolutely gutted, because there is literally nowhere else in town to go.



More of a lament than a rant, I guess, but dont worry..merely the calm before the storm..