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cuncuna 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 29 2005
Location: Chile
Status: Offline
Points: 4318
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 Posted: October 17 2007 at 11:21 |
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A guy enters a doctor's office. "I ate a pencil and now my stomach hurts". "Ok", says the doctor; "have a sit and writte your name, please".
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ˇBeware of the Bee!
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cuncuna
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 29 2005
Location: Chile
Status: Offline
Points: 4318
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Posted: October 18 2007 at 20:53 |
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And now to fight for the title:
Q.- Wich one is the smartest mountain of the world?
A.- the CLEVEREST
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ˇBeware of the Bee!
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tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
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Posted: October 18 2007 at 23:19 |
 cuncuna wrote:
And now to fight for the title:
Q.- Wich one is the smartest mountain of the world?
A.- the CLEVEREST |
HA HA HA
HAA HAA HAA
HAAA HAAAA HAAAA
HAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA
HAAAA HAAAA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA
HAA OMG HAAAAAAAA HAA HAA OH GOD HELP HAAAA OMG AHHH! HAA! HAA!!
*suddenly keels over dead in a fit of laughter*
 
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 7744
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Posted: October 29 2007 at 19:05 |
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There were too peanuts and one of them was a salted peanut.
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aapatsos
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: November 11 2005
Location: Manchester, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 9226
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Posted: November 02 2007 at 12:02 |
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An 'evil worshiper' man takes his girl for a lengthy walk - where else - in the woods, in a dark and lonely cave. Dark as it is, the guy is just holding a candle, -imagine- creepy situation... like a thriller
- Honey, says the girl, I am afraid.
- You are afraid? says the man. Then how should I feel when I have to walk alone back home...?
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tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
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Posted: November 02 2007 at 13:28 |
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aapatsos
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: November 11 2005
Location: Manchester, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 9226
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Posted: November 02 2007 at 19:26 |
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- How much is the fee, taxi driver, to get me from here to Patissia (an area within Athens)?, says the man...
- That will depend on the counter sir..., replies the taxi driver
- And tell me something else, taxi driver, says the man... Is it going to cost me more if I take my wife with me?
- Of course not sir, replies the taxi driver
...and the man turns to his wife...
- Did you see that woman, you did not believe me when I told you you were worthless...
(shame on me)
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aapatsos
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: November 11 2005
Location: Manchester, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 9226
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Posted: November 02 2007 at 19:33 |
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What is the difference between a pro*titute, an 'illegal' girlfriend and a wife during the act of sex?
Pro*titute: Come on, not done yet?
'Illegal' girlfriend: What???? Already????
Wife: Yellow, I will paint the roof yellow...
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam
Joined: April 29 2006
Location: Atlantais
Status: Offline
Points: 29630
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Posted: November 03 2007 at 09:12 |
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I don't know if any one has inflicted this one on y'all yet, but
What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.
Sorry drummers.
Ow ow ow, quit hitting me with those sticks!
Edited by Slartibartfast - November 03 2007 at 09:12
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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened... 
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aapatsos
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: November 11 2005
Location: Manchester, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 9226
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Posted: November 03 2007 at 11:19 |
^ clever one
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magnus
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 19 2006
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 865
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Posted: November 04 2007 at 11:29 |
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A couple, consisting of two mentally retarded people, had decided to have sex. So while they were "gettin' it on", the guy said "is it as good for you as it is for me?". "Huh?" she replied. "I said, is it as good for you as it is for me!?" Again, she replied "Huh?"
"IS IT AS GOOD FOR YOU AS IT IS FOR ME!?!?". So she finally says: "I can't hear what you are saying, I think I have a banana or something in my ear!"
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The scattered jigsaw of my redemption laid out before my eyes
Each piece as amorphous as the other - Each piece in its lack of shape a lie
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Leningrad
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 15 2006
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 7991
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Posted: November 04 2007 at 17:57 |
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain,they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds,"But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 7744
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Posted: November 06 2007 at 20:00 |
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"Can the musicians and the drummer please come onto the stage now?"
What do you call a guitarist who got dumped by his girlfriend? HOMELESS!
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67458
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 09:32 |
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- Who has been in Japan but hasn't been in Asia?
- David Sylvian.
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 7744
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 09:51 |
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Do we have a Riddle thread? I was about to post something here but realized it was more of a bad RIDDLE.
The search engine turned nothing up, but I still don't want to take the chance and be torn apart by veteran members "WE ALREADY HAVE ONE OF THESE, N00B!!!!"
So do we?
Edited by Shakespeare - December 16 2007 at 09:52
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aapatsos
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: November 11 2005
Location: Manchester, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 9226
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 10:38 |
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^ I don't think so, give it a try..
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markosherrera
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 01 2006
Location: World
Status: Offline
Points: 3252
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 15:48 |
He was a robber who was robbing a house but with such bad luck that the homeowner came and saw him, then, the robber says:
As I saw, I will have to kill, but first I want to know their names, and asked the girl her name and she said:
Elizabeth
To you not because ,I canT kill you ,you are called like my mom.
Then he asked the boy, and he said:
My name is John, but my friends tell me Elizabeth.
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 18 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 7744
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 15:52 |
markosherrera wrote:
He was a robber who was robbing a house but with such bad luck that the homeowner came and saw him, then, the robber says:
As I saw, I will have to kill, but first I want to know their names, and asked the girl her name and she said:
Elizabeth
To you not because ,I canT kill you ,you are called like my mom.
Then he asked the boy, and he said:
My name is John, but my friends tell me Elizabeth. |
And then he said "You b*****d, Elizabeth was the name of the woman who killed my mother!"
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cookieacquired
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 23 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 911
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 15:59 |
difference between a musician and a medium pizza?
pizza can feed a family of four  hee hee
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markosherrera
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 01 2006
Location: World
Status: Offline
Points: 3252
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Posted: December 16 2007 at 16:04 |
The teacher intervened in an argument between two students:
Jaimito, what is the problem?
It's that I am too intelligent to be in the first grade.
My sister is in third place, and I am more intelligent than her. I want to go to the third too! The teacher sees that can not solve the problem and send it to the address.
While Jaimito expected in the entrance hall, the teacher explains the situation to the director. This promises to make the boy a test, which insurance will not answer all questions, and thus take you to continue in the first grade.
And both agree, posing a student and you are proposing a test that he accepts.
Starts then questions the Director: To see Jaimito, How much is 3 by 3? - "9" -.
And how much is 6 times 6? - "36" -.
The director spoke for almost an hour, the battery of questions that only an excellent student in third grade should know and Jaimito not committed any error.
Faced with the obvious intelligence of the child, the Director said to the teacher:
I think that we have to pass the third grade. The teacher is not very safe, he asked: Can I make myself some questions too? The director and Jaimito settle.
Starts then the teacher:
What has the cow 4, and I only two?
The legs, responds Jaimito without hesitation ...
What do you have in your pants, that there is not in mine?
The director is in line lenses, and is preparing to interrupt ...
The pockets, the child replied.
.
And where women have more hair curly?
The director makes a grin of amazement
In Africa, responds Jaimito without hesitation.
What is soft, and in the hands of a woman becomes hard?
As director he crossed eyes.
The nail polish, profe ... Answer Jaimito.
What do women in the middle of the legs?
The Director can not believe ...
Knees responds Jaimito instantly.
And what is a married woman wider than a single?
The bed.
The director starts cold sweat ...
And what begins with A has a hollow and I was I gave up some people to enjoy?
The director will cover the face ...
"A" CD.
The director, already sick of the pressure interrupts them and tells the teacher ... Look, PUT the kid that in sixth grade ...
ˇˇMyself I fail all the answers!
Edited by markosherrera - December 16 2007 at 20:58
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