Silly Story, mark II

I find the other silly story to be overly silly, and any meaning at all is instantly lost completely. Here's a different take on the same game. This time, the members can post up a full sentence (run-on sentences allowed, liberally). Doesn't have to be completely coherent, just not utterly (and I hate this term, I really do) "random".

Now I begin.

Harold, the youngest of his kind, was a bird trapper.

One day the branch he most usually used for climbing was gone when he returned to his tree, and he had no means of getting home.

Nowhere near the previous tree.

"I need a change of scenery" he declares dynamically to the sky, when at that moment something amazing occurred. 

"Damn this cruel life" he cried passionately, before burying his now drawn dagger deep into his body.

In a few months of having homes destroyed, scrounging up the cash to try again, he went again for the suicide thing when suddenly he had a change of heart.

Even the kangaroos agree.

"Finally!" he cried "That wigwam that I've wanted to be laid in for years by my hot co-worker at the bird farm!"

This is a much hairier, much more primitive thing than a woman.

...at that moment, the spaceship from Tau Ceti arrived with its usual cargo of efferming beans and packets of lemon Spangles.