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Abstrakt ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: August 18 2005 Location: Soundgarden Status: Offline Points: 18292 |
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What is Mind? No matter
What is Matter? Nevermind
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Bj-1 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 04 2005 Location: No(r)Way Status: Offline Points: 31644 |
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What do Gordon the Gopher and thomas the tank engine have in common?
they have the same middle name |
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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Abstrakt ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: August 18 2005 Location: Soundgarden Status: Offline Points: 18292 |
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All the kids were playing football, except Carl, because his dad owns a blue Café |
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Bj-1 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 04 2005 Location: No(r)Way Status: Offline Points: 31644 |
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What do you call a hundred cows masturbating?
Beef Strokin'off |
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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Arsillus ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: March 26 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 7374 |
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Dim ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() Joined: April 17 2007 Location: Austin TX Status: Offline Points: 6890 |
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... So I said "thats no subatomic configuration, THATS MY WIFE!!!" |
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daz2112 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: January 18 2006 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 4483 |
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A man with no arms or legs is waiting at a bus stop,when his mate pulls up driving a bus. "Alright Dave?" says the driver as he opens the door. "How are you getting on?"
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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moreitsythanyou ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() VIP Member Joined: April 23 2006 Location: NYC Status: Offline Points: 11682 |
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Here's a bad one...
Girl: I can't go to the symphony with you tonight
Boy: Why not?
Girl: My mom doesn't want me to be exposed to sax and violins.
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StyLaZyn ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 22 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4079 |
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The Doctor ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 23 2005 Location: The Tardis Status: Offline Points: 8543 |
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![]() ![]() A man walks into a bar, and sitting on the bar is a piano player about 1 foot tall. The man is astonished and as he orders a drink, he asks the bartender "How in the world did you find such a small piano player? That's really cool."
The bartender replies "Well, I have a genie in this here old liquor bottle," and hands the man the liquor bottle. He continues "He will grant one wish to anyone who rubs the bottle, but be careful, because this genie is hard of hearing."
The man takes the bottle and rubs it furiously, summoning the genie. Without thinking about it the man says "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie replies, "Your wish has been granted, and when you return home you shall find there what you have asked for."
The man runs out of the bar and goes home. Upon opening the door to his home, he sees that his house is overrun with ducks. Chagrined, he heads back to the bar and confronts the bartender.
"What the hell," he says to the bartender, "I asked for a million bucks and instead I got a million ducks."
The bartender replies, "I told you he was hard of hearing, do you really think I wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"
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I can understand your anger at me, but what did the horse I rode in on ever do to you?
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tardis ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: October 02 2005 Location: Victoria, BC Status: Offline Points: 14378 |
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Q: What does Antarctica and Virginia Tech have in common?
A: Both -32 today. |
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Dim ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() Joined: April 17 2007 Location: Austin TX Status: Offline Points: 6890 |
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^ You're going straight to hell for that
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Chris H ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: October 08 2006 Location: Charlotte, NC Status: Offline Points: 8191 |
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Wow that was the most cruel yet hilarious thing I have ever heard
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Beauty will save the world.
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Vompatti ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() VIP Member Joined: October 22 2005 Location: elsewhere Status: Offline Points: 67458 |
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These are very similar, but I couldn't decide which one was worse:
1. I polished my balcony today. It used to be a French one. 2. It took Krzysztof quite a while to completely polish his imported wife. |
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SoundsofSeasons ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: March 08 2007 Location: Arizona -- USA Status: Offline Points: 221 |
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There were two muffins sitting in a warm oven when the one muffin says to the other "You don't really think they're gonna eat us do you?"... and the other one says"Look a talking muffin!"
(Thank my little sister for that one, she tells it to everyone and laughs every time)
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1 Chronicles 13:7-9
Then David and all Israel played music before God with all their might, with singing, on harps, on stringed instruments, on tambourines, on cymbals, and with trumpets. |
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martinprog77 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: December 31 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2531 |
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Q ; what is a transsexuals ?
A : a woman with a brain
Q what is brasil?
A is a
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Nothing can last
there are no second chances. Never give a day away. Always live for today. |
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Angelo ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin Joined: May 07 2006 Location: Italy Status: Offline Points: 13244 |
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Why do roosters not have hands?
Because chickens have no breasts.... |
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ISKC Rock Radio
I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected] |
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Visitor13 ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() VIP Member Joined: February 02 2005 Location: Poland Status: Offline Points: 4702 |
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Two young Jews ask a rabbi a question:
- Rabbi, what is an 'alternative'? To which the rabbi replies: - Ok, imagine you have a thousand, no - five thousand, no - ten thousand, no - make that twenty thousand chickens. And one night a flood comes and all of them drown. After a brief, bewildered silence, the young Jews ask again: - Ummm, ok rabbi, but what is an 'alternative', then? - Why - it's ducks, boys, ducks! |
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Ricochet ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 27 2005 Location: Nauru Status: Offline Points: 46301 |
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quasi...it's not bad. ![]() ![]() |
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Ricochet ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 27 2005 Location: Nauru Status: Offline Points: 46301 |
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