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Neil View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Humour Leaving Prog Archives!
    Posted: December 05 2006 at 07:30
Nor your dentist
When people get lost in thought it's often because it's unfamiliar territory.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 05 2006 at 07:28
Originally posted by Wutu Banale Wutu Banale wrote:

(Kinda like the message that poem sends us


Not humorous I know (sorry, Pete), but similar sentiments are expressed here by America's greatest living poet:

Oh my name it is nothin'
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that land that I live in
Has God on its side.

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side.

Oh the Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns in their hands
And God on their side.

Oh the First World War, boys
It closed out its fate
The reason for fighting
I never got straight
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side.

When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side.

I've learned to hate Russians
All through my whole life
If another war starts
It's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side.

But now we got weapons
Of the chemical dust
If fire them we're forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God's on your side.

In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.

So now as I'm leavin'
I'm weary as Hell
The confusion I'm feelin'
Ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God's on our side
He'll stop the next war.


A masterpiece - now back to the humour:

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiittttss... the Chuckle Brothers:



A smile, a song, a jape and a gag from two gentlemen I wouldn't leave children alone with...

    

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Wutu Banale View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 04 2006 at 07:45
Now that was the best poem i have ever read. (Kinda like the message that poem sends us)Clap
Käsittämättömän käsittämätöntä
Suurta ja arvostettavaa.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2006 at 17:33
That actually sounds like it could fit on Roger Waters' album Amused to DeathThumbs Up
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2006 at 17:30
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Ode to My American Cousins, by Pee Rightout
 
Yanks, yanks
In planes and tanks
When they invade
They'll expect our thanks
 
Yanks, yanks
In tanks and planes
They got the guns
But we got the brains
 
Yanks, yanks
All drivin' Humvees
Like some ozone depletin'
Global disease
 
Yanks, yanks
Led by a tw*nk
Remember the last guy
And his knee-padded skank?
 
Yanks, yanks
They're like, so cool
But they can't spell "a lot"
Do they even have skools?
 
Wink
 
 


THAT's the poem?
No, I don't think it's offensive. I do think it's very true though.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2006 at 06:38
Peter, your poem was wonderful! (seriously!) Clap
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2006 at 06:36
Originally posted by erik neuteboom erik neuteboom wrote:

Do you know how it's called when French and French speaking Belgians and Canadians make love during their breakfast?
 
 
 
 
Croissante neuf ..............LOL
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
doesn't the bed get full of crumbs...
 
or do they do it on the kitchen table..??Confused
 
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2006 at 01:12
croissante neuf is very funnyLOL
 
but than again i'm dutch so who can blame me.
I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2006 at 00:29
    Whimsy and I were hot and heavy for a while. Then she left me for a long haired musician.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 18:31
Do you know how it's called when French and French speaking Belgians and Canadians make love during their breakfast?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Croissante neuf ..............LOL
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Edited by erik neuteboom - December 02 2006 at 18:34
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 18:10
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Ode to My American Cousins, by Pee Rightout
 
Yanks, yanks
In planes and tanks
When they invade
They'll expect our thanks
 
Yanks, yanks
In tanks and planes
They got the guns
But we got the brains
 
Yanks, yanks
All drivin' Humvees
Like some ozone depletin'
Global disease
 
Yanks, yanks
Led by a tw*nk
Remember the last guy
And his knee-padded skank?
 
Yanks, yanks
They're like, so cool
But they can't spell "a lot"
Do they even have skools?
 
Wink
 
 
 
Peter, I think you ought to send it to 'Newsweek' you never know, a poem this week, next week  Middle East Correspondent??
 
Big smile
Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 17:59
farts are mad funny
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 09:50
Peter that's very naughty!
 
you should delete this offensive piece before the C.I.A. see it and drag you off to Guantanamo Bay!.....Peter are you listening.....?
 
Peter.......!Confused
 
 
Peter where are you.........PETER....!!.??
 
Shocked
 
 


Edited by mystic fred - December 02 2006 at 10:21
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Tony R View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 09:45
I'm offended....that's the worst effin poem I've ever had the misfortune to read.
    

Please check out my poem in this thread...

http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31493&PID=2284210#2284210



Edited by Tony R - December 02 2006 at 09:46
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Peter View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 09:41
Anyone and everyone: can you tell me, do you find my silly poem, above, to be offensive and mean-spririted, or perhaps -- as I had intended -- amusing?
 
If a majority say that yes, it is offensive (moreso, say, than some of the posts in the " America" thread, where I originally posted it), then I will delete it.
 
Can America/politics be the target of humour and satire here, or only serious (often inflamed) discussion?
 
Is this poem offensive to you? (I will now post a poll.)


Edited by Peter Rideout - December 02 2006 at 09:58
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2006 at 09:34
Ode to My American Cousins, by Pee Rightout
 
Yanks, yanks
In planes and tanks
When they invade
They'll expect our thanks
 
Yanks, yanks
In tanks and planes
They got the guns
But we got the brains
 
Yanks, yanks
All drivin' Humvees
Like some ozone depletin'
Global disease
 
Yanks, yanks
Led by a tw*nk
Remember the last guy
And his knee-padded skank?
 
Yanks, yanks
They're like, so cool
But they can't spell "a lot"
Do they even have skools?
 
Wink
 
 


Edited by Peter Rideout - December 02 2006 at 09:59
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 01 2006 at 14:36
Anyone who is worried about humor leaving PA surely hasn't read the thread "America". Now that's funny!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 01 2006 at 13:09
sorry folks, this is the only description i could think of - i'm sure Lennon would have found this amusing!LOL
 
 
 
am i being a little cynical?Confused
 
made my point.Wink
 
 


Edited by mystic fred - December 01 2006 at 14:20
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Dick Heath View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 01 2006 at 12:53

 

Loved crudely MF?

The best eclectic music on the Web,8-11pm BST/GMT THURS.
CLICK ON: http://www.lborosu.org.uk/media/lcr/live.php
Host by PA's Dick Heath.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 01 2006 at 12:24
 
no, you misheard - Nutteralert is to be made collaborator of NUDE BANDS..!Confused
 
 
 
 
 
 


Edited by mystic fred - December 01 2006 at 12:25
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