The Moody Noobs

 

His calling did not go unanswered.  Just seven minutes later, the sexy hunk Australian (better known as Matt) joined the band.  He was allowed in despite the fact that his PA (progarchives) avatar looks, when stopped at the right moment, like a penis.  Atavachron was next to join the action.  He is not actually a member of the band, but he is the official groupie, who embezzles the band's funds and generally does nothing the band wants him to.  He has remained loyal to the band, except for the five or so times he's quit.  10 minutes after the band began, the master lyricist Inpraiseoffolly joined.

 

Once the band was established as such, the Whistler suggested that the N00bs choose an official style.  His idea was heavy wood, an ideal to which the band still holds true to this day.  Australian (the sexy hunk) is now the official woodist of the band, banging pieces of timber together to create a unique sound.

 

Shortly after, the Whistler had the first idea for the band's first single.  He suggested dragging a chair across the floor for seventeen minutes, with no backing music.  The single was never released, and it's doubtful that it's even been recorded.  Inpraiseoffolly pulled through and actually wrote the band's first single.  It did not have a title, but plagiarized from the Beatles and Justin Timberlake.  It was subsequently revised to drop the Beatles reference at the behest of the Whistler, and instead made a reference to the Rolling Stones.

 

After this, a medley of ideas that never came to fruition were discussed.  Inpraiseoffolly wrote a dreadful b-side that no one cares about to this day.  Inpraiseoffolly then started the band tradition of quitting and rejoining, as he quit due to feelings of superiority.  He rejoined one minute later, and wrote a song about how he quit, this time stealing from Genesis, who continues to be a source of plagiarism to this day, notably in the song Get 'Em Out By Monday.

 

At this point, for publicity reasons, the entire band quit and then reformed.  Inpraiseoffolly suggested that the band be emo, and wrote some lyrics for it.  The Whistler subsequently quit, which violated his contract (as noted by Atavachron), so he rejoined.  The band has not released any material from their emo days.

 

Inpraiseoffolly wrote the lyrics for the band's first concept album at this point, called Whistler on the Edge of Time.  At this point, some fool called Geck0 wrote some lyrics.  Everyone ignored him, so he disappeared, but not before trying to change the name, which failed.  He would not officialy quit until much later.  Someone called King of Siam appeared to suggest the next song's title, which Inpraiseoffolly wrote, after much debate, the song was changed to Cock-Eyed Jim.  It was deemed to be innapropriate for radio airplay, and has not yet been released.

 

At this point, the Whistler rejoined the band.  Inpraiseoffolly wrote a song with a hidden backwards message, which everyone ignored, except the Whistler.  Inpraiseoffolly suggested plagiarizing unreleased Jethro Tull, but the Whistler rejected the idea.  The band then gained a bass player in Jeffrey Hammond Hammond, who has yet to admit that he has come out of retirement and plays bass for the M00dy N00bs.

 

Abstrakt pointed out that the band had plagiarized their name.  A long debate ensued.  The name was changed to the Moody Noobs.  The Whistler tried to get Abstrakt to join the band, but failed because Abstrakt was a literalist and refused to play his organ like a drum.

 

The Whistler came up with the band's catchphrase, "Bombastically beautiful, so you don't have to be."  Inpraiseoffolly subsequently wrote the band's first and only advertising jingle.  Australian tried to convince Inpraiseoffolly to sing, but he refused, writing a song about why.  It did not chart, as it was never released.  Inpraiseoffolly tried to implement an Accordion into the band, but someone rose up to his challenge, then disappeared. 

 

Inpraiseoffolly wrote a song about band's level of success.  People like it, so Inpraiseoffolly wrote some lyrics plagiarizing Frank Zappa, Radiohead, and Genesis.  Inpraiseoffolly wrote a random song for no reason, which brought Phileas into the band.  IPOF posed a question and Phileas answered it.  IPOF later revised the song.

 

Tardis posted to ask people not to tell him to jump off a cliff.  IPOF told him instead to jump in front of a fire truck, which made Tardis cry.  A lengthly discussion on plagiarism and the soul soon began, which had nothing to do with Tardis.  It was resolved.  Some dude named Arrghus appeared and was useless, and then he went away.  Inpraiseoffolly plagiarized the Van Der Graaf Generator for the first time.

The Lost Chord joined, wasn't very nice, so he quit.  Inpraiseoffolly was illogical, and so wrote a song called She Blinded Me With Logic.  It included the band's most famous line to date, "she deafened me with her rubbing hip sounds."  Phileas officially joined the band as lead sitarist.  Australian finally found some timber for the band's heavy wood sound.  The band started adding gunshots to their solos.  The Whistler quit.  He rejoined to protest the addition of a flute.

 

Australian suggested that someone needed to quit and rejoin over and over again.  The Whistler was so outraged at this that he quit.  He later rejoined.  Phileas got the band started on the psychadelic ukulele path.  The band wrote an album on which all they did was play ukulele's for forty minutes.  This was a double album, the second disc being Ian Anderson and Martin Barre retching for forty minutes.  Phileas ate the band's accordion.  Inpraiseoffolly wrote a song for a concept album that went nowhere.

 

Inpraiseoffolly had other obligations at this point, so the Whistler quit.  Inpraiseoffolly wrote his first truly great lyrics for a concept album called Selling New England by the Dollar.  Everyone in the band liked it, especially I Know What I Like (In Some Other Guy's Wardrobe).  Heyitsthatguy joined the band, and then disappeared when he learned that he would not be credited.  He has not officially quit yet.  Phileas suggested changing the name to better represent a musical direction the band never actually took, and the Whistler quit again.  Phileas and Atavachron quit as well in protest.  Atavachron and Phileas rejoined.  The Whistler rejoined.  Phileas quit.  Phileas rejoined.  Atavachron quit.  Bastille Dude became the band's biggest fan.  Inpraiseoffolly rejoined, though he had not quit. Phileas rerejoined.  Inpraiseoffolly began actually writing Selling New England By the Dollar.

 

Inpraiseoffolly became lead didgeridooist and shofarist for the band, in addition to lyricist.  Atavachron rejoined.  Phileas threatened to quit, but didn't, and instead gave Atavachron a box of snickers.  Bastille Dude, who never officially joined the band, quit against band procedure.  Bastille Dude's frustration with his solo career led him to join the Noobs.  Given that he was in the band, Atavachron quit in protest of his own membership of the band.

 

Inpraiseoffolly finished writing Selling New England By the Dollar, and wrote a song about slugs.  Tardis reappeared.  The Whistler quit.  Bastille Dude was upset with this.  The band's identity was later mistaken as the Moody Boobs.  Phileas quit.  Inpraiseoffolly threatened to quit.  Phileas rejoined to show support for IPOF's threatened quitting.  Hell did not freeze over.

 

The Whistler rejoined the band.  Inpraiseoffolly wrote a concept album called Dissed By You While Here, a protest against the music industry.  It provided the hit single, Slime On Your Crazy Antics part 1.  Phileas quit.  Phileas rejoined.  Abstrakt, who is not a member of the band, tried to control their actions.  Everyone ignored him.  The Whistler quit.  Phileas threatened to quit.  The Whistler rejoined.  Abstrakt continued to be a fool. 

 

THE BAND GOT A MYSPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Phileas rejoined, though he never officially quit.  The Whistler quit over Myspace issues.  Inpraiseoffolly posted some stuff in order that the Whistler might stay.  Abstrakt finally went away.  Atavachron rejoined.  The Whistler threatened to quit.  Atavachron quit for the evening.  Myspace started being an ass.  Some discussion ensued.  The Whistler quit.  Bastille Dude quit. 

 

The band wrote an album called Nuclear Cells, which featured each member of the band playing a different atomic bomb.  The follow up album was called Nubular Sells (out).  Phileas rejoined.  Phileas quit.  Bastille Dude tried to pretend he hadn't quit.  Atavachron rejoined.  Kabjourman became lead Jawharpist.  He has not reappeared since.

 

THE BAND GOT A WIKIPEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Inpraiseoffolly started writing a concept album about the band's success.  After the Wiki article was deleted (for which the Whistler quit), he added slamming Wikipedia to the concept.  The album is still in the works.  Bastille Dude was happy.  Atavachron quit.  Atavachron rejoined.  Arrghus tried to join the band.  He did, and then he quit.  Atavachron suggested he rejoin. For contractual reasons, Arrghus did not.  He rejoined for some food.  He did not like the food, so he quit.  Bastilled Dude called a band meeting.  Arrghus rejoined.  Bastille Dude quit in frustration over the lack of quitting.

 

THE BAND'S WIKI WAS DELETED!

 

Inpraiseoffolly wrote some songs.  Inpraiseoffolly quit.  Inpraiseoffolly rejoined.

 

 

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