I seen The Miracle's thread,and found almost similar joke.Translated and edited by me
:
1.If someone hates prog-metal,he's an unintelligent tasteless freak
2.If he still does,then kill him
3.Hate the mainstream
4.If someone likes mainstream,then...oh no,we can't kill everybody
5.While introducing new prog-metal CD to a friend,you'd begin with the most complex solo-part in the longest track
6.If he dislike it,look n.1
7.If he doesn't,he's over the stupid crowd!!!
8.Your drummer hasn't got two pedals yet? Quit him!!!
9.Buy all side-projects CDs of DREAM THEATER.Never listen to them though
10.Remember: "Falling into Infinity" is crap."Octavarium" is modern crap
11.The music must always be progressing.If you've released at least one prog-metal album, then forget this rule
12.You have a 4-min song and it's not a ballad? It's NOT PROG!!!
13.Don't ever hum to prog
14.Remember:if progger cuts his hair,he isn't a progger anymore.He sold out
15.Oh boy,you have more than 4 minutes of 4/4 in your 60-min album? You should work on it!
16.Spend at least 5 hours in prog forums
17.Spend no more than 5 minutes with instrument per day
18.You have 4 strings on you bass? Man,Madonna's bassist has 5!
19.Spend your soundcheck time swearing punk bands
20.Talent=speed
21.Do remember the first rule!!!
Some examples of lyrics:
"I`m staring towards ascension divine, caught in my own revelation, a nightly mystery of soulburning apparition"
"Mornings` gentle caress, a ray of sunlight enveloping the spirit of the sleeper ventriloquist"
"A timid, palatable genocide, turn towards the decline of mankind, the festering wound of ages past changes into the soul-spirit of vestigial sentences"
Some examples of band's names:
-Eternal Twilight Tranquility
-Redolent Arithmetic
-Evolution of Vernacular Domesticated
-Silent Noise
-Tender Harshness
-Healing Gun
(a bit heavier)
-Deitronus
-Tarakoch
-Fentaran
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Rules for Prog-Metallists
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chamberry wrote:
