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VanderGraafKommandöh 
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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 Posted: May 12 2006 at 15:42 |
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This reminds me of some guy (again from India), 'phoning our ex-directory 'phone and asking me whether I want a new spangly mobile 'phone. Not just any spangly mobile 'phone, but one that allows you to see the person you're calling: shock horror!
I didn't want this. I have a mobile 'phone I barely use, which happens to have a camera in and 250Mbs of MP3 space... which I really do not need...
Anyhow, I had trouble getting rid of him and I didn't want to hang up, because that's a defeatists attitude.
This guy could not understand why I didn't want a spangly 'phone. I told him I didn't have a 'phone (thought this may help - it seems not) and this just made it worse.
Then he starts to talk about stuff like: well, if you were lost, or stuck somewhere without a 'phone, what would you do?
Me: Live with the fact that I don't have a 'phone.
I forget what exactly happened, but I was getting more and more annoyed, but I remained calm, he was getting more and more annoyed and wasn't staying calm.
I won, he got so annoyed with me, he hung up.
The day after - or maybe two - the 'phone rang again, but my mother was in and she said: I wonder who is calling at this time (I know, answer it and you'll find out... another gripe!) and replied: Oh, it's probably some guy from India trying to sell us a mobile 'phone. And it was.
It's getting very annoying!
I have a plan:
If they 'phone again and do a similar spiel, then I'm going to say I'm Amish and that our religions means we cannot use 'phones. The only reason I am on the 'phone now, is because I am the spokeman for this particular Amish community and I deal with all external affairs... but no, I do not need a mobile 'phone.
Hopefully that'll work.
Other gripes:
1. As mentioned 4x4s used by mothers on the school-run to pick up their "kids".
2. The term "kids" - They even use it on Newsround, it really gets up my nose! The language they use on that Childrens News Program disturbs me
3. Childrens television - Yes I know, I don't need to watch it at my age, but if I ever have children, I'm selling the television!
4. The term "Art Rock"!
I'll think of more soon.
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 15:52 |
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Security lights outside houses that turn on when you pass about 2 miles away
from the house!
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 15:53 |
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Chavs - need I say more?
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Empathy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 1864
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 15:55 |
 Snow Dog wrote:
Security lights outside houses that turn on when you pass about 2 miles away
from the house!
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What were you doing so close to my house?
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Pure Brilliance:
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KoS
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 17 2005
Location: Los Angeles
Status: Offline
Points: 16310
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 15:58 |
I hate all these rich, ungreatfull kids who get everything fed to them in a f**king golden platter, when I have to work my ass of for the cheapest things
Damn kids are driving $30,000 cars
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 15:59 |
Empathy wrote:
Snow Dog wrote:
Security lights outside houses that turn on when you pass about 2 miles away
from the house!
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What were you doing so close to my house?
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Waiting for a bus.
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sleeper
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 09 2005
Location: Entropia
Status: Offline
Points: 16449
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:02 |
Why is it that when I find one thing to solve a problem the solution just gives me another one instead.
For instance, Internet Explorer keeps freezing on me, so I got Firefox. Now Firefox doesnt seem to relize that I have loged on to PA. 
Cant anyone get these web browsers right! |
Spending more than I should on Prog since 2005
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Empathy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 1864
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:16 |
Snow Dog wrote:
Waiting for a bus.
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Then you're clearly a terrorist. 
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Pure Brilliance:
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Padraic
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 16 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Status: Offline
Points: 31169
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:29 |
Seems like all you Brits have to put up with all the same crap we do in
America (telemarketers, soccer mom's in oversized SUVs, corporate BS,
etc.). Just be glad you're not NINE FREAKING TRILLION DOLLARS in
debt!!
Gah, don't get me started on all the broken systems (political and otherwise)...
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Empathy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 1864
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:34 |
Everything sucks!!
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Pure Brilliance:
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sleeper
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 09 2005
Location: Entropia
Status: Offline
Points: 16449
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:35 |
NaturalScience wrote:
Seems like all you Brits have to put up with all the same crap we do in
America (telemarketers, soccer mom's in oversized SUVs, corporate BS,
etc.). Just be glad you're not NINE FREAKING TRILLION DOLLARS in
debt!!
Gah, don't get me started on all the broken systems (political and otherwise)...
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No man, start on those broken systems, its good to get it out of your system!
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 22 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 16130
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:37 |
Yeah, go on NaturalScience let rip!!
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Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:41 |
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Empathy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 1864
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:53 |
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Just kidding, we've been listening to your calls and we know you're not really a terrorist.
We are curious, however, about what you need all that Jell-O for...
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Pure Brilliance:
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 16:58 |
Empathy wrote:
Just kidding, we've been listening to your calls and we know you're not really a terrorist.
We are curious, however, about what you need all that Jell-O for...
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We? The band? Get on wth your next album!  
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 22 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 16130
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 17:02 |
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Ha! The real ranters are on the TV right now. Grumpy Old Men has just started on BBC2 wit good ole Rick Wakemen!
Signing off!..
Edited by Blacksword - May 12 2006 at 17:03
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Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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DrGoon
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 09 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 160
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 17:55 |
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Who would have thought, thirty years ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Chaselet, eh?
Them days we were glad to have the price of cup of tea.
Aye! A cup of cold tea!
Without milk or sugar.
Or tea.
In a cracked cup and all.
We never used to have cup! We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
But you know, we were happy in those days, although we were poor.
Because we were poor!
AYE!
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Tony R
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: July 16 2004
Location: UK
Status: Offline
Points: 11979
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 18:02 |
Any excuse to post that Python classic sketch: - FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.
- SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
- Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- You're right there, Obadiah.
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.
- SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
- A cup o' cold tea.
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- Without milk or sugar.
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- Or tea.
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- In a cracked cup, an' all.
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
- SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
- The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- Aye, 'e was right.
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- Aye, 'e was.
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
- SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
- House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one
room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing,
and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t' corridor!
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a
palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We
got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all
over us! House? Huh.
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
- SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
- We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- Cardboard box?
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- Aye.
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a
septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the
paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill,
fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when
we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.
- SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
- Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in
the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty
hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash
us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
- THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
- Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of
shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We
had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for
sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us
in two wit' bread knife.
- FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
- Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half
an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work
twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to
come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill
us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
- FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
- And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.
- ALL:
- They won't!
Genius!
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sleeper
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 09 2005
Location: Entropia
Status: Offline
Points: 16449
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 18:55 |
Now thats funny!
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spacecraft
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 04 2006
Location: Scotland
Status: Offline
Points: 184
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Posted: May 12 2006 at 19:11 |
Mobile phones...why?
They use them in the toilet, at the checkouts in supermarkets, phone home to ask their beloved what they like!!!!!! in the aisles of supermarkets, when they are driving (ban them all). When they text non stop, what the f""k have they got to say that can't wait 'till they meet??????? And those bloody annoying ring tones, we've banned smoking in public places in Scotland, let's ban mobile phones too, anyone caught breaking this law shall be shot dead (enforced euthanasia)....hooray.
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