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RaphaelT View Drop Down
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Points: 1453 		Direct Link To This Post Topic: Progressive Jokes
    Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:14

 

Probably been posted before, but let's try:

Back in the 60s/70s when progressive band came to the major label with new material they listened to it and then asked: hey, where's the f**king hit single??

Now in the 21st century prog band comes to small label (eg InsideOut, SI) with new material and they ask: hey, where's the f**king 30 minutes long epic, the album consists only of 10 minutes short tracks....
yet you still have time!
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The Miracle View Drop Down
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Points: 28427 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:18


Though that's not true, some bands on IO have severe Excessive Epic Disorder(EED) and Excessive Wakery Disorder(EWD) which usually leads to the development of EED.
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The Miracle View Drop Down
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Points: 28427 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:23
A DT gig.

Labrie's having a hangover and forgets lyrics to a song. He walks up to Petrucci and asks him to remind. "f**k off, the solo's coming up". He goes to Myung: "Go away, I'm having a difficult part here". He goes up to Rudess: "Leave me alone, my solo's next up". So he goes to Portnoy: "Hey, remind me the second verse to this song..." Mike: "What song?"
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Points: 21342 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:26

Originally posted by The Miracle The Miracle wrote:

A DT gig.

Labrie's having a hangover and forgets lyrics to a song. He walks up to Petrucci and asks him to remind. "f**k off, the solo's coming up". He goes to Myung: "Go away, I'm having a difficult part here". He goes up to Rudess: "Leave me alone, my solo's next up". So he goes to Portnoy: "Hey, remind me the second verse to this song..." Mike: "What song?"

Um... yeah...
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RaphaelT View Drop Down
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Points: 1453 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:30

 

British market company TESCO is going to utilize Genesis "Aisle Of Plenty" song in his commercials...
yet you still have time!
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HeirToRuin View Drop Down
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Points: 454 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:33
Gentle Giant being sampled by a hip hop artist...

Oh wait.. 
ARTEMIA -http://www.reverbnation.com/artemiamusic
L.i.E. - http://www.reverbnati
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Points: 9008 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 09 2006 at 16:34
Originally posted by The Miracle The Miracle wrote:



Though that's not true, some bands on IO have severe Excessive Epic Disorder(EED) and Excessive Wakery Disorder(EWD) which usually leads to the development of EED.


EED thread

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darren View Drop Down
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Points: 452 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 01:23

What has 200 legs and never had a girlfriend?

The front row of a prog concert.

A man dies and goes to heaven. He walks through the gates when he notices the sounds of great guitar playing but can't see the player. The guy walks back and asks St. Peter "That's great guitar playing, who is it?" St. Peter says "That's God, sometimes He thinks He's Robert Fripp."

 

sorry, that's the best I can do right now. 
"they locked up a man who wanted to rule the world.
the fools
they locked up the wrong man."
- Leonard Cohen
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Points: 395 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 02:35
Apparently, I can only think of lightbulb jokes (and yes they're real bad) at the moment pertaining to select bands.

How many King Crimson fans does it take to replace a lightbulb?  About as many as the last complaining about the replaced one. (or something to that horrid effect...)

A guy over at Tool's fanclub once said this risible gem about the band (and I guess you have to be a pretty avid fan / keep in mind the utterly meatheaded blind allegience some have to their singer's lyrics):

How many Tool fans does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?  Spiral Out MAN!
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Points: 2531 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 04:01
Originally posted by HeirToRuin HeirToRuin wrote:

Gentle Giant being sampled by a hip hop artist...

Oh wait.. 
Nothing can last
there are no second chances.
Never give a day away.
Always live for today.


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RaphaelT View Drop Down
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Points: 1453 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 05:05

 

There is no prog rock, there is just simple rock music which was elongated by Chuck Norris' kick
yet you still have time!
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jesperz View Drop Down
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Points: 233 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 05:14
Originally posted by The Miracle The Miracle wrote:

A DT gig.

Labrie's having a hangover and forgets lyrics to a song. He walks up to Petrucci and asks him to remind. "f**k off, the solo's coming up". He goes to Myung: "Go away, I'm having a difficult part here". He goes up to Rudess: "Leave me alone, my solo's next up". So he goes to Portnoy: "Hey, remind me the second verse to this song..." Mike: "What song?"


Nice 1 dude! =)

Sometimes i pity Labrie..

2 hours and 30 minute show.. He is only up on stage for about 1 hour.. He would probably spending his time on coffee... Getting less pay than the others?!
<<Dark side of Z' Drummination>>
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JanOve View Drop Down
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Points: 1 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 05:34
How many progressive musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it takes him 27 minutes!



(maybe old, but still great)


And that marks my first post on this forum....

I'm the monster you created...
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el böthy View Drop Down
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Points: 6336 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 14:58
Originally posted by darren darren wrote:

What has 200 legs and never had a girlfriend?

The front row of a prog concert.

A man dies and goes to heaven. He walks through the gates when he notices the sounds of great guitar playing but can't see the player. The guy walks back and asks St. Peter "That's great guitar playing, who is it?" St. Peter says "That's God, sometimes He thinks He's Robert Fripp."

 

sorry, that's the best I can do right now. 


HAHAHAHAH EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT!!!! great, great...sometimes he thinks hes fripp...hehehehe, thats awesome...
"You want me to play what, Robert?"
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YYZed View Drop Down
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Points: 282 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 16:09
Originally posted by RaphaelT RaphaelT wrote:

 

There is no prog rock, there is just simple rock music which was elongated by Chuck Norris' kick







 
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RaphaelT View Drop Down
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Points: 1453 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 17:28

 

Why prog fans can't dance in the disco??

Cause they are used to dance only in 7/8 metrum, not the ordinary simple 4/4
yet you still have time!
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AngelRat View Drop Down
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Points: 1014 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 17:56
Originally posted by RaphaelT RaphaelT wrote:

 

There is no prog rock, there is just simple rock music which was elongated by Chuck Norris' kick

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...
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stan the man View Drop Down
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Points: 504 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 18:34
Originally posted by AngelRat AngelRat wrote:

Originally posted by RaphaelT RaphaelT wrote:

 

There is no prog rock, there is just simple rock music which was elongated by Chuck Norris' kick

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...

chuck norris is the master
true as a lobster in a pteredaktyl's underpants.


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Points: 6699 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 10 2006 at 19:00

Originally posted by The Miracle The Miracle wrote:

A DT gig.

Labrie's having a hangover and forgets lyrics to a song. He walks up to Petrucci and asks him to remind. "f**k off, the solo's coming up". He goes to Myung: "Go away, I'm having a difficult part here". He goes up to Rudess: "Leave me alone, my solo's next up". So he goes to Portnoy: "Hey, remind me the second verse to this song..." Mike: "What song?"

 

"Mastodon sucks giant monkey balls."
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Equality 7-2521 View Drop Down
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Points: 15784 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 12 2006 at 11:26
Mikael Akerfeldt said this when I saw him last year.

They were having some sound difficulties and there was an annoying buzzing noise coming from the amps for a few songs so finally they took a break to fix the problem and Mikael says:

"Our next album is just going to be 10 mins of this(Reffering to the buzzing). And we can do it, because we're progressive"
"One had to be a Newton to notice that the moon is falling, when everyone sees that it doesn't fall. "
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