Can I quote you...again

Following the previous batch of classics:

http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12220

Here’s another batch of genuine extracts from our reviews pages. As previously, all names have been removed to protect the guilty!

• I enjoyed it, but the tunes were a bit from the same kettle, if know what I mean.
• If this is a Yes Album, I am an extraterrestral man,
• Simply put, this is a unique album. It has a completely different feel, like switching from a colorful acid trip cartoon to a gritty, booze soaked noir crime thriller.
• Owner of a lonely fart! That is all I ever had to say about that album!
• Anyway, 5 Stars because every song is okay, if not great.
• Hello fellow people, I for one live in montreal where people aren't obbsessed with Yes but show respect.
• "if only you knew" was a song jon anderson wrote for his wife(very underated).
• Jon needs to stop thinking with his dick and start using his brain again.
• this is my first ever review which explains the shortness and rubbishness of it
• I bought this album yesterday, and Ive already heard it like 7 times: it is that accesible to the ears.
• But an album with only one bad song still deserves 5 stars if you ask me
• I find the music boing, except for than E9 minor chord in the beginning of the song.
• The production is still too watery and weak to give the songs the "oomph" that they probably deserve. The drummer has a cool twisty Rollie Fingers mustache, though, so that more than makes up for it.
• Picture the scene in 1976 - you are 14,on holiday in bridlington with your parents,and have been given your £4.00 holiday money. what do you do ? enter the first record shop you can find - thats what !
• I just happened upon this site looking for ringtones, and couldn't resist writing a review for THE greatest album of all time.
• (Review by "farting machine") - From the most boring [%*!#]ing country in the universe. give us fleetwood mac their prog......yeah right. what about slipknot them too more listenable
• I ended my listening session by grabbing it out of the CD player, trying to break it and the case in half. It didn't work.
• Any Rush album deserves a five star review... The only reason for it is: RUSH and no questions asked!
• I am trying to think of fifty words for rubbish but am having some trouble. I may use this CD as a coffee coaster.
• It is wonderful simplicity. Even your girlfriend might like it!!!
• I consider this album a poor excellent addiction in any prog rock collecton
• Well. while going through my dads record collection i found 3 J.T. (no...not justin timberlake) albums.
• Get a Britney Spears lp , destroy the cd and this one along , throw away the J T sleeve but kkep the Spears one as it is definitely more valuable than this completely awful JT album .
• I have not heard this album although I am familiar with several of the tracks. I rate this one star on principle not musical content and I urge you to do the same.
• Ok I haven't heard the album eithier but since you gave it one star without the respect owed to these guys for years of great stuff. I am going to give it 5 stars just to try and correct your abberation based on the clear majority here
• My son knows all the word to The Gnome and The Scarecrow as I used to sing these songs to him as lullabies.....
• (This) remains one of my favourite albums (largely due to repeated listenings helping me pass a whole Sunday afternoon stuck at some poxy little train station in a wet & sh*tty Wigan in 1992 while waiting for a non-existent train to arrive)
• I never heard this album yet but at the momment I'll give this 2 stars for now I may change my opinion once I hear this
• 2 words for you... INSANE. yes this band can easily be compared to insanity,
• After side on had finished I went to put side 2 on and then I realised I had been listening to the whole of side 1 at 45rpm!!!! This I have never managed to do before even after a few jars!! I shall give it another listen tomorrow - surely it will improve.
• The title track, "One of These Days", is a great one. (Review of "Meddle" by Pink Floyd)
• OK Chris, that is your idea of a review? : "if you rate this under highly recommended then kill yourself ". Very useful. Come on, I really don't understand what people like you are doing in a site where different opinions can help other people to get information about bands and records. I think you should stay away from this site until you learn manners.
• all i can say about this song can be summed up in 2 words: amazing. its such a great song that in this instince "amazing" counts as 2 words.
• Anyone who rates this album anything lower then a 5 needs to test themselves for a flesh eating virus that attacks the "understanding music" cortex of the brain.
• but I do have a problem, little stupid jappy people or "posers" who listen to Floyd just because they've taken a hit from a bong, drive me INSANE! Get a life people, find your own music, Roger Waters, David Gilmour, Richard Wright, and Nick Mason didnt make music like this for people like you, so die, please.
• i havent heard the album but i love the song hey teacher leave us kids alone that is so cool i think is so good its my favourite top 100 songs of all time im giving 5 stars for the brick song i think it rulz and it is lush but i not familiar with proggie rock or whatever it is called. cool song i like it.
• To understand the album you have to have had grown up in the times of WW2
• Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! Don't buy this CD! FIFTY WORDS.
• You are all clearly so far up Gilmours ass its not funny!!
• pink floyd is so good.. he is the only one in this world i can touch his feet. he is the god of music
• This track is nothing but Keith Emerson making love to his keyboards for nearly 8 minutes.
• You can argue all you want with me, but unless you can name me every single mode in existence and sing an Ab harmonic minor scale using solfeg, then you will be wrong.
• The only question that comes to mind is: What is Licky man doing here? (Review of ELP's first album)
• No 'Are you ready Eddy?' or 'Crystal Bitches' (stupid name...). The Barbarian really gives the impression of a drooling bearded viking chasing you around with a rusty axe having the idea of bringing home your limbs as a trophy.
• I've been listening to this CD for weeks now. It has been raining everyday. Dopamine and Seratonin levels are dangerously low. I am hallucinating and am having suicidal ideations. The medications have stopped working. I have lost all hope.There is no reason to go on.
• I only knew this once I had heard their first debut album
• even my mother, the O.A.P, appreciates the evocative title track.
• I don't know what you b*****ds are complaining about. What kind of quality do you expect of a bootleg? You are obviously very easily distracted because you can't even hear the actual performances.
• From 1 to 7, I give this a 5.5.
• I also enjoyed the postcard in the cd with the offer for the poster for $2. I have still not yet received my poster but that is because I mailed it only 4 days ago. But that was 1994 so who knows what could have happenned to my $2?
• let's face it I play this when there are woman ready to fall into my arms - not meaning that I can't get laid without it , you wise arses!
• I have listened to this album over 300 times (EL - How does he know that!?)
• This is a good compilation but the only reason I gave it four stars because some snogs are better then others
• first, i thought i've cheated because the high price (143NIS!!!)
• While I'm writing this, the rain is pouring outside, which is what I love most when I'm writing, so I'll try not to ramble on too badly throughout this review, but if I happen to do so, feel free to skip ahead, 'cause chances are you're not going to like my judgment.
• This is the Perfect album. Yes they could have done better, but nothings "perfect".
• When you are really bored and nothing good comes out of you, you usually sigh, take a beer or watch the chickens getting philosofic on oats
• If they ever get the urge to do something like this again the should consider starting a stamp collection instead.
• This album is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very good.Yes it is good ..BUY buy buy buy buy this cool album it is one of the best. (EL Guess how many words!)
• (This) is an optimal way in order to return behind in the time and to come catapult in the Sherwood Forest with Robin Hood!
• the guy who calls himself (name removed!) should get his ears checked..and furthérmore go listen to pop music or whatever..as you obvisiosly dont like progmusic. This album is great......and you are a MORON!!! Prog rules.
• We also hear Annie Haslam becoming the Mariah Carey of progressive rock
• The track "Faeries" is OK, but it's about....faeries. Exposure to the remainder may well cause your brain to liquefy and run out your ears.
• But it is the most not "dateable" prog CD ever.
• I would rather go to the chiropodist & have all my finger & toe nails individually removed with a set of pliers & no anaesthetic than have to listen once more to this truly awful album by a bunch of washed up middle-aged men attempting to connect with the kids! Now then, where is the Yellow Pages? Ah, there it is…C…Chiropodists…aaargh! (I would also rather my review was not deleted by some rather fussy moderators, as was the case earlier today – I was of the view that everyone’s opinion is valid & if I choose to produce my review in a somewhat whimsical manner then that should be respected, as should the fact that I deem this album worthy of 0 stars.)
• I would rather go to the dentist & have all my teeth individually removed with a crowbar & no anaesthetic than have to listen once more to this truly awful album by a bunch of washed up middle-aged men attempting to connect with the kids! Now then, where is the Yellow Pages? Ah, there it is…D…Dentists…aaargh! (I would also rather my review was not deleted by some rather fussy moderators, as was the case the other day – I was of the view that everyone’s opinion is valid & if I choose to produce my review in a somewhat whimsical manner then that should be respected, as should the fact that I deem this album worthy of 0 stars.)

And a few more of the online translator classic:

• It is not a ugly LP. Is still enough sour.
• That if did not be would be necessary to invent us it! Also the other song do not disfigure, but before certain masterpiece..
• The group leaves me totally insensible.
• Singularity we are some nullity, togheter of the geniusses! declared a time (but the sentence is not demanded [in the words])
• In fact all the songs are extraordinary and to describe the all it would want us I space occupant from the Bible! I limit myself then to say that a LP so of superior level does not be born all of the days and is difficult to be so Hard Rock and Prog so having directed!
• To have it of LP so, I would put us the signature on the bills to have the all! It stays the fact that the three have not renewed and this is a well!
• Some songs are two much Folk Rock, succeeding it does not blow up me from the seat.
• It is a work of the strong charm by abnormal heat.
• And Lucky Man is a ballade very nice. Talk of a man very rich wich dead in war and the bills not save he.
• For this I do not want makes you to lode time. Fairies yours a copy and then you say to me!
• The drummer then uses two clave in place of the batons? Uhm... We do not take ourselves for the buttoks, because creed that the labum is a live a lot convincing.
• This is a compilation that it will blow up on the seat and that it will not make you to sleep the night. You are or little lovers of the science fiction!
• This is a collection of refuse, the point more low to the band name and creed that nobody can give me twisted.
• Annie Haslam could be my mother and when they conceived the songs I was not still born, but this is music that I listen more gladly.
• The live discs likes me a lot and I must say to me, moreover, that to me they say more than many discs records to you in studio. This I say it in order not to justify it me, but because in this case it is true.

I never usually laugh out loud litterrally, but while I was reading those I did. My favorite had to be the priceless one about the postcard money,

"I also enjoyed the postcard in the cd with the offer for the poster for $2. I have still not yet received my poster but that is because I mailed it only 4 days ago. But that was 1994 so who knows what could have happenned to my $2?"

I'm inspired!

I think I'll go do some reviewing now.....

Easy Livin wrote: Maybe I'm becoming immune Bob, I have a few more, but not enough to warrant another post yet.

Maybe we are all getting slightly better art reviewing and we make less blunders too

And a few more of the online translator classic:

• It is not a ugly LP. Is still enough sour.
• That if did not be would be necessary to invent us it! Also the other song do not disfigure, but before certain masterpiece..
• The group leaves me totally insensible.
• Singularity we are some nullity, togheter of the geniusses! declared a time (but the sentence is not demanded [in the words])
• In fact all the songs are extraordinary and to describe the all it would want us I space occupant from the Bible! I limit myself then to say that a LP so of superior level does not be born all of the days and is difficult to be so Hard Rock and Prog so having directed!
• To have it of LP so, I would put us the signature on the bills to have the all! It stays the fact that the three have not renewed and this is a well!
• Some songs are two much Folk Rock, succeeding it does not blow up me from the seat.
• It is a work of the strong charm by abnormal heat.
• And Lucky Man is a ballade very nice. Talk of a man very rich wich dead in war and the bills not save he.
• For this I do not want makes you to lode time. Fairies yours a copy and then you say to me!
• The drummer then uses two clave in place of the batons? Uhm... We do not take ourselves for the buttoks, because creed that the labum is a live a lot convincing.
• This is a compilation that it will blow up on the seat and that it will not make you to sleep the night. You are or little lovers of the science fiction!
• This is a collection of refuse, the point more low to the band name and creed that nobody can give me twisted.

...therefore i seeking am the great compliment of reviewing them on PR for writing myself my powers!

yours forever always until never  MYSTIC FRED.