Beginning of a song

The soft organ background cushion is my personal favorite part, perfect throughout. I like the way it subtlely moves from the shifting meter section to 4/4 at the end, a touch of genius. But...was this recorded as a MIDI? I'm not exactly sure what Logic Express and Reason are. I couldn't make out any acoustic instruments...did you make it entirely on a computer/keyboard? Eventually, if you want to make anything out of this song, you need a band. My tastes dictate that the bass should be more prominent, more densely constructed, somewhere between Yes and Gentle Giant's bass style. But, of course, that would be up to your bassist (when you get one). The drums are subtle, nice enough as is. The lead synth, however, i dunno...It's good, but in a live setting, it would be a guitar, right? The way I figure, when you get a band, keep the organ part as is, the synth part goes to a guitar and is tweaked some, the bass part is made more intricate, interactive, and melodic (rather than reflective), and the drums are made more virtuosic (in a Guy Evans [of VDGG] sense).

And, in terms of structure, the buildup is brilliant. Instead of ending it as you currently are, it ought to continue into a vocal section. The title is excellent, just make lyrics around it. You could possibly build it up into a grand epic climax, or just let it shift through its moods like a river. Either works. Or it could remain instrumental. Just don't end it as you are. A good thing to do is to reprise earlier parts, put them to different instruments, and for fun you ought to at least do one passage in an odd time signature (the bigger the prime number, the bigger the prog bonus ).

What do you think?

Hmm...on the first half, what's the difference, utah_man? The fade-in was cut, but other than that...

The second half ending is nice on the alternate, but wasn't his original purpose to develop the song more? However, utah's edit on the end would be perfect for a mood shift, or to swing it into a second movement.