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maani
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Topic: Thuh Musik Industry Sux! Posted: August 06 2005 at 12:48 |
Thought that might grab your attention, especially coming from me...
Many bands - both prog and non - have written songs critical of the music industry and/or the music it tends to support. Some of the ones that come to mind are PF's "Have a Cigar," GG's "Interview," Queen's "Flick of the Wrist" (about their first manager) and especially their ultra-biting "Death on Two Legs." Among my other favorites are XTC's hysterical "I Bought Myself a Liarbird," and their super-incisive "Funk Pop A Roll," which I share the lyrics for below. Can anyone come up with others? Prog is best, but all examples are equally fun!
Funk Pop a Roll (by XTC)
Funk pop a roll beats up my soul Oozing like napalm from the speakers and grills of your radio Into the mouths of babes And across the backs of its willing slaves...
Funk pop a roll consumes you whole Gulping from your opium so copiously from a disco Everything you eat is waste But swallowing is easy when it has no taste...
They can fix you rabbits up...with your musical feed They can fix you rabbits up...big money selling you stuff that you really do not need...
Funk pop a roll for fish in shoals Music by the yard for the children they keep like poseable dolls The young to them are mistakes Who only want bread but are force-fed cake...
Funk pop a roll the only goal The music business is a hammer to keep you pegs in your holes But please don't listen to me - I've already been poisoned by this industry!...
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tuxon
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 14:13 |
Golden Earring - Ce Soir
Remember that song called "Kill me" From Vick Timm's last LP Too much of a risk for a golden disc The price he paid for money
Ce soir, Ce soir Assassination d'un rock 'n roll star
Sing your song, you can't go wrong Attempted his business adviser No need for alarm you'll come to no harm He didn't mention the sniper
Ce soir, Ce soir Assassination d'un rock 'n roll star
The news is read, the meaning spread One yawn, two yawn, and back to bed Turn off the light and hold me tight Come on maman, bend down your head And just sing on, immortal song Fini belle vie, bonne nuit
Remember that song called "Kill Me" A lecture on political chicanery of people's rape recorded on tape Bought shame to the presidency
Tonight, tonight One more point for human right
Remember that song "Kill Me" once used by a man from Galilee He had nothin' to lose He was king of the Jews Secured his place in history
Ce soir, Ce soir assassination d'un provocateur
The news is read, the voice is spread One yawn, two yawn, and back to bed Turn off the light and hold me tight Come on maman, bend down your head And just sing on, immortal song Fini belle vie
Vick played the part, with all his heart He wasn't prepared for the shock When howling lead bit into his head A new martyr for the book of rock
Ce soir, Ce soir Assassination d'un rock 'n roll star
this is the first one to spring to mind, together indeed with the ones you already mentioned.
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I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT
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MikeEnRegalia
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 14:17 |
Kevin Gilbert - The Shaming of the True - Suit Fugue (The A&R Men)
Hi, John it’s Mel from Meglaphone I’ve been listening to your tape for the 19th time Oh that’s another call - can I call you Back when I was in a band we used to sound like this And I loved your songs, they reminded me of myself You sound like Air Supply meets Guar In a good way; Here’s my other number Can you wait for just a sec - That’s another call coming in, I’ll get back to you Have my girl take your information
Hi, John it’s Guy from Groan-o-phone Heard some talk about the band and the way you sing I really think it’s great - can we make a Deal with me, call me a friend, we’ll be a family You’re a talented individual If you sign here on the dotted line… that’s good And my nephew will be your producer
Yo, John it’s Bill from Biddybum Word is traveling around that you’ve got some tunes We will not be outbid - Radio is in the bag, we own the chart They will not add your song Without checking with our promotion staff, now we
Hi, John it’s Shep from Shinola We should really do a lunch Quite a tape indeed - my secretary flipped Your a genius
My name is Johnny Virgil (hammer hammer hammer hammer) I play this here guitar (schmooze schmooze schmooze schmooze) I play it for myself (patronize, patronize, pass the buck, pass the buck) (weadle weadle weadle weadle, sell sell sell sell) CAN WE SPEAK CANDIDLY?!
Got hands that move like clockwork (hammer hammer hammer hammer) A voice that carries far (schmooze schmooze schmooze schmooze) Got a love for nothing else (patronize, patronize, pass the buck, pass the buck) (weadle weadle weadle weadle, sell sell sell sell) LET’S BE SPONTANEOUS!
Hi, Jack it’s Al from A&R You don’t really need the band they are in the way We only wanted you any way so Dump the band, you are the face You better wise up fast This is not a game - we’re professionals Did I mention that you won’t be out this year Cannot be helped - go take a vacation One more thing that you should know We’re all counting on you to be Our new golden boy Lot’s of lives and jobs in the balance
Virgil it’s Pete your president Calling to congratulate you on your fine choice You must be very proud, so are we I’m sure your music is terrif although I must admit I don’t listen to much of any thing Did I mention that I used to have a band? I have to run, been great talking to you
Hi, Joe about publicity Thought about the photo op with the cripple No, we need a sharper hook - like a scandal Maybe you could rape a nun Or better still a priest Some androgyny could be interesting, shall we
Hi, Jim it’s Val from video Who decided on your hair? Can we cut it off? We’d like to see a buzz bin rotation
My name is Johnny Virgil (weasel weasel weasel weasel, lie lie lie lie) I play this here guitar… (pacify, pacify, jack you off, jack you off) Ah f**k it (shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle, yawn yawn yawn yawn) ARE YOU A PRIORITY!
My name is Johnny Virgil (weasel weasel weasel weasel, lie lie lie lie) I’m gonna be a star (pacify, pacify, jack you off, jack you off) And this is how it’s done (shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle, yawn yawn yawn yawn) DO YOU WANT A HIT OF THIS?
Edited by MikeEnRegalia
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BaldFriede
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Joined: June 02 2005
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 14:49 |
Peter Hammill, "Two or Three Spectres", from his album "Nadir's Big Chance".
Two or Three Spectres
"Sod the music," said the man in the suit, "I understand profit and without that, it's no use. Why don't you go away and write commercial songs; come back in three years, that shouldn't be too long..." He's a joker and an acrobat, a record exec. in a Mayfair flat with Altec speakers wall to wall, a Radford and a Revox and through it all he plays strictly nowhere Muzak. "Hey, listen, baby, this band's got a lot of soul... if we can beat that out of them I see a disc of gold! Give them an image, maybe glitter, maybe sex, maybe outrage, maybe elegance - how about as nervous wrecks?" Signs up the product at two percent, justified by vinyl shortage and the increased rent on the yacht he has to hire to make his pitch at Midem and all the press receptions for his business friends who spill their Taittinger upon the floor while the band sip English lager just outside the door. Treble, alto, bass clefs on the page, crotchets, quavers, minims all the rage but you'll never find a pound note in the score - it's there when it's strictly merchandise, through all the propagated lies about what the whole thing's for. He'll make you a star, he'll make you so famous that all you desire is to be left nameless, drained of all you felt you had to offer at the start. Not without blame, either, are the gentlemen of the press: you can talk about the state of music, they will write about your dress. Play them the new album, they will say it's great (or not) - when the articles come out, they're all about how many dogs you've got. God to keep the human interest high, and the hacks are only too willing to comply, pander to the ego, build up frail men as gods - but somewhere in the process, the prime purpose is forgotten. Groupies offer their bodies, the hangers-on their coke; it's all very jolly - what a joke! Fellini creatures cluster round the dressing-room, the heavenly bodies all got to have their moons. In the cult of the superman the music plays a supporting role and far more important is the shape of his nose, the size of his codpiece and the cut of his clothes... soul and feeling always take second place to the bump and grind of a Fender bass. Frankly, most musicians bore me - but not as much as those who chase the glory to bask in reflected light, making the man much more important than his arpeggios and mordants, when it's the other way that's right. On the values by which this world makes its heroes then the best violinist ever was Nero, because he had the most Press and his fire gimmick was simply the best. We got the live thing too, the Human Zoo: Ten thousand arms are raised, just like the Hitler Youth - ten thousand peace signs mark the entry of the sax. Ten thousand peace signs, but they're different from the back.
Edited by BaldFriede
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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.
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BaldFriede
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 15:04 |
Oh, and of course the title track of the album, predicting punk (in 1974).
Nadir's Big Chance
I've been hanging around, waiting for my chance to tell you what I think about the music that's gone down to which you madly danced - frankly, you know that it stinks. I'm gonna scream, gonna shout, gonna play my guitar until your body's rigid and you see stars. Look at all the jerks in their tinsel glitter suits, pansying around; look at all the nerks in their leather platform boots, making with the heavy sound... I'm gonna stamp on the stardust and scream till I'm ill - if the guitar don't get ya, the drums will. Now's my big break - let me up on the stage, I'll show you what it's all about; enough of the fake, bang your feet in a rage, tear down the walls and let us out! We're more than mere morons, perpetually conned, so come on everybody, smash the system with the song. Smash the system with the song!
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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.
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Fitzcarraldo
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 16:09 |
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers' song Joe:
My name's Joe, I'm the CEO Yeah I'm the man makes the big wheels roll I'm the hand on the green-light switch You get to be famous, I get to be rich
Go get me a kid with a good lookin' face Bring me a kid can remember his place Some hungry poet son-of-a-bitch He gets to be famous, I get to be rich
Or bring me a girl They're always the best You put 'em on stage and you have 'em undress Some angel whore who can learn a guitar lick Hey! Now that's what I call music!
Well they'll come lookin' for money when the public gets bored But we'll fight 'em with lawyers they could never afford Yeah I'll make her look like a spoiled little bitch She gets to be famous, I get to be rich
Or bring me a girl They're always the best You put 'em on stage and you have 'em undress Some angel whore who can learn a guitar lick Hey! Now that's what I call music!
So burned out Johnny thinks the books are shifty What good's that alchy to me when he's fifty? Well we could move catalog if he'd only die quicker Send my regards to the gig and a case of good liquor
He gets to be famous, I get to be rich He gets to be famous, I get to be rich
My name's Joe, I'm the CEO I'm the man makes the big wheels role
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maani
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 16:29 |
Great stuff so far! I'm so glad there's so much of this out there! Since I brought it up at the start, I thought it might be fun to re-read one of my all-time faves:
Death on Two Legs (Queen)
You suck my blood like a leach, You break the law and you breach You screw my brain til it hurts - You've taken all my money...you still want more...
Misguided old mule, with your pig-headed rules With your narrow-minded cronies who are fools of the first vision
Death on two legs - you're tearing me apart Death on two legs - you never had a heart of your own Kill joy...bad guy...big-talking...small fry You're just an old barrow boy Have you found a new toy to replace me - can you face me?
But now you can kiss...my ass goodbye
Feel good...are you satisfied...do you feel like...suicide (I think you should) Is your conscience all right? Does it plague you at night? Do you feel good? - Feel good!
Talk like a big business tycoon, you're just a hot-air balloon So no one gives you a damn You're just an overgrown schoolboy- let me tan your hide...
A dog with disease, you're the king of the sleaze Put your money where your mouth is Mr. Know-all Was the fin on your back part of the deal? (Shark!)
Death on two legs - you're tearing me apart Death on two legs - you never had a heart of your own (You never did, right from the start) Insane...(you should be put) inside...(you're a) sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride Should be made unemployed...then make yourself null and void Make me feel good - I feel good!
-----
Keep the hits coming!
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Fitzcarraldo
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 16:52 |
Mister Ten Percent (Bad Deal) from one of my favourite albums (TRIUMVIRAT - Illusions On A Double Dimple):
Hands off, mister ten percent!!! We've got a gig tonight! Ha!! Do you think we're gonna pay your rent? Working for you 'til the end of our life!!
Your stories of success and fame have turned the eyes quite wet, yeah!! And striving for a better life... We filled your money bag!!!!
A big mercedes a house on a hill a week in sweden and we're paying the bill!
We paid your dinner but not for long, as we get thinner taxis, hotels, so on, and so on...
Hands off, mister ten percent!!! We've got a gig tonight! Ha!! Do you think we're gonna pay your rent? Working for you 'til the end of our life!!
At first you took ten, tomorrow it's twenty!! The more we give the more you want, ha!! How could you think that you're still a friend?? It might be fifty in the end!!
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Man Overboard
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 16:52 |
5 Per Cent For Nothing!
Lyrics:
dodooododoodododddooododopingpingdoot!
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Easy Livin
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 17:01 |
Neil Young's "This Note's for you" was primarily a swipe at Michael Jackson's tour being sponsored by Pepsi:
"This Note's For You"
Don't want no cash Don't need no money Ain't got no stash This note's for you.
Ain't singin' for Pepsi Ain't singin' for Coke I don't sing for nobody Makes me look like a joke This note's for you.
Ain't singin' for Miller Don't sing for Bud I won't sing for politicians Ain't singin' for Spuds This note's for you.
Don't need no cash Don't want no money Ain't got no stash This note's for you.
I've got the real thing I got the real thing, baby I got the real thing Yeah, alright.
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Fearless
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 20:32 |
Porcupine Tree: Sound of Musak
Hear the sound of music Drifting in the aisles Elevator prozac Stretching on for miles
The music of the future Will not entertain It's only meant to repress And neutralise your brain
Soul gets squeezed out Edges get blunt Demographic Gives what you want
Now the sound of music Comes in silver pills Engineered to suit you Building cheaper thrills
The music of rebellion Makes you wanna rage But it's made by millionaires Who are nearly twice your age
One of the wonders of the world is going down It's going down I know It's one of the blunders of the world that no-one cares No-one cares enough
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If you don't stand up
You don't stand a chance!
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MikeEnRegalia
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Posted: August 06 2005 at 20:39 |
Here's another song from Gilbert's Shaming of the True:
. . . It’s got tattoos, it’s got a pierced hood it’s got generation X It’s got lesbians, and vitriol, and sadomasochistic latex sex It’s got Mighty Morphin’ power brokers, and Tanya Harding nude Macrobiotic lacto-vegen non-confrontational free range food It’s got the handshake, peace talk, non-aggression pact A multicultural interracial non-segregated historical fact . Say Amen. Hallelujah! Say Amen It’s a certifiable number one smash Hallelujah. Amen. Certifiable undeniable solid platinum number one smash. . It’s got more hooks than a tackle box , it’s got really loud guitars It’s got a blasting cap in the fertilizer, got the secret anguish of the network stars It’s anti-fur, it’s unplugged, it’s got an OK from the Pope Got art nails and a Wonderbra, and dread lock blunt rolled Buddha dope Got the head nod, the finger pistol, the nose up in your crack Montel, and Geraldo, and the women who hate the men that hate them back . Say Amen! Hallelujah! Say Amen It’s a certifiable number one smash Hallelujah! Amen! Certifiable undeniable solid platinum number one smash. . Video Pitch: . Now I gotta tell ya about the video idea…your really gonna love this! We start out in one of these rural churches in the middle of Alabama somewhere and they’re havin’ this gigantic rave up gospel church festival with fat women with their hands in the air yellin’ amen and hallelujah and our boy, our hero, he’s right in the middle of it and religious fervor is just exploding off of his body behind the alter of this church there’s this gigantic icon of a black Jesus Christ…who our boy later licks. Smash cut to him on a hillside dancing wildly, half naked, with his undulating midriff sweating profusely in front of hundreds and hundreds of burning crosses Smash cut back to the church only now it’s not a church right, it’s a courtroom and the priest has become a judge and the choir’s become the Jury and black Jesus is on trial for raping our boy So this really angry contingent of fat trucker lookin’ guys sweeps up black Jesus beats him senseless and throws him in prison where our boy takes pity on him, goes to him, weeps in front of the bars and then gives him a hand job through them. but it’s all shot by Herb Ritz so it’s really beautiful and you feel sorry for both of them All right, all right…so that we don’t offend everybody in the whole f**king world at this point these two gigantic beautiful red velvet curtains close from either side of the screen and then reopen and the whole cast of the video takes a bow like it was a play or somethin’ right!…get it? All right well, if you don’t get that you’ll get this…when those receipts start tearin’ in from all over the world you’re gonna kick the almighty god ass my friends because sixty billion flag waving fans in every stadium in the f**king planet are gonna be yellin’!… . Sequins, bell bottoms , peace and hope and love OJ and VR and Elvis Jackson with a Blue Suede Glove . Say Amen! Hallelujah! Amen Certifiable number one smash Hallelujah! Amen! Certifiable undeniable solid platinum number one smash.
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TheProgtologist
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 08:00 |
Damn....I see Mike already got to Kevin Gilbert's The Shaming of the True.One of the biggest jabs at the music industry EVER.
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Scrambled_Eggs
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Points: 287
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 12:15 |
Besides being an interesting Sci-Fi tale, the lyrics to the song "2112" also refers to the music industry and the fact that Rush was asked to make more radio-friendly music, after the poor showing of "Caress of Steel." Thank God they did just the opposite.
Edited by Scrambled_Eggs
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And I am not frightened of dying, any time will do, I
don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime.
I never said I was frightened of dying.
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maani
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 13:03 |
Herewith, the aforementioned "Liarbird":
I Bought Myself A Liarbird (XTC)
I bought myself a liarbird - he came with free drinks just to blur The lies falling out like rain on an average English summer's afternoon
I bought myself a new notebook - sharpened my guitar and went to look If this biz was just as bongo as the liarbird made out
All he would say is "I can make you famous" - All he would say All he would say - "Just like a household name" is all he would say
Methinks world is for you, made of what you believe If it's false or it's true, you can read it in your Bible Or on the back of this record sleeve
I bought myself a liarbird - things got more and more absurd It changed to a cuckoo and expanded filling up with all I gave
I bought myself a big mistake - he grew too greedy, bough will break And then we will find that liarbirds are really flightless on their own
All he would say is "I can make you famous" - All he would say All he would say - "Just like a household name" is all he would say
Methinks world is for you, there's no handing it back If it's false or it's true, you can read it in your prayer book Or on the back of a Corn Flakes pack
I gave away a liarbird - a couple less drinks and now I've heard The truth shining out like sun on an average English winter's afternoon
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Certif1ed
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 16:50 |
Spirit of Radio
Begin the day With a friendly voice A companion, unobtrusive Plays that song that’s so elusive And the magic music makes your morning mood
Off on your way Hit the open road There is magic at your fingers For the spirit ever lingers Undemanding contact In your happy solitude
Invisible airwaves Crackle with life Bright antennae bristle With the energy Emotional feedback On a timeless wavelength Bearing a gift beyond price --- Almost free...
All this machinery Making modern music Can still be open-hearted Not so coldly charted It’s really just a question Of your honesty
One likes to believe In the freedom of music But glittering prizes And endless compromises Shatter the illusion Of integrity
For the words of the profits Are written on the studio wall, Concert hall --- Echoes with the sounds... Of salesmen.
My italics highlight the recent Sony payola exposure that few people seem to have even batted an eyelid about.
What can you do against the media moguls that all act illegally, and treat their customers as the criminals when you're addicted to their opium?
Edited by Certif1ed
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frenchie
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Joined: July 30 2004
Location: United Kingdom
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Points: 2234
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 18:19 |
escape from reality
"industry"
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls step up and see the latest "best band in the world" this week we want you to release a hit single in the chart i promise you all lots of sluts to satisfy your hearts bigger house, swimming pool, expensive sports car if you want to work with me, i will make you all stars you, the singer, lets have you ditch that girl for a sham wife and let the whole world marvel at every second of your life
my new product i cant wait i cant wait to sell you...
hello boys, can i have a few words? i think that your new album is the best thing i've ever heard it must be great to recieve all this fame i'm sorry, to confess, i dont even know your names but that doesn't mean i dont love you anyway tell us all your secrets but don't tell us who you are i bet you love trashing hotel rooms and smashing your guitars your music and your pop just means everything to me do you think it would be okay if i could kiss your ass on live tv?
my new product i cant wait i cant wait to sell you...
join us... join us...
what do you mean no?
no??? NO!!! are you taking the f**king piss?!? how dare you turn down a great offer like this!!! i gave you everything, offered you the world now you get nothing, no money, cars or girls you could have been huge, but you wont sell out now i'm really going to show you what hell is all about...
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The Worthless Recluse
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DallasBryan
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Joined: November 23 2004
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Points: 3323
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 19:27 |
Lyrics for King Of Hollywood by Eagles
Well he sits up there on his leatherette
And looks through pictures of the ones
that he hasn't had yet
When he thinks he wants a closer look
He gets out his little black telephone book
(He's calling)
(He's calling)
(He's calling)
(He's calling)
Come sit down here beside me honey
Let's have a little heart to heart
Now look at me and tell me darlin'
How badly do you want this part?
Are you willing to sacrifice
And are you willing to be real nice
All that talent and my good taste
I'd hate to see it go to waste
We gon' get you an apartment, honey
We gon' get you a car
Yeah, we gon' take care of you, darlin'
We gon' make you a movie star
For years I've seen 'em come and go
He says, "I've had 'em all, ya know"
I handled everything in my own way
I made 'em what they are today
After 'while, nothing was pretty
After 'while, everything got lost
Still, his jacuzzi runneth over
Still, he just couldn't get off
He's just another power junky
Just another silk-scarf monkey
You'd know it if you saw his stuff
The man just isn't big enough
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DallasBryan
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 19:31 |
John Fogerty - Vanz cant dance
[Chorus:]
Vanz can't dance, but he'll steal your money,
Watch him or he'll rob you blind. (X 4)
[Chorus]
Out in the street a crowd is gatherin',
Pushed down by the heat of the building, they're
wantin' to dance.
Makin' their way up the street, a boy with a pig and a
radio;
Little Billy can work on the crowd, put 'em into a
trance,
For the little pig Vanz.
[Chorus]
You're watchin' 'em dance, not a care in the world;
So Billy and Vanz get busy, they're makin' their move;
The little pig knows what to do, he's silent and quick,
just like Oliver Twist;
Before it's over, your pocket is clean,
A four-legged thief paid a visit on you.
[Chorus x3]
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maani
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Joined: January 30 2004
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Points: 2632
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Posted: August 07 2005 at 19:48 |
How about a band thumbing its nose at the people who listen to them? To whit:
The Worst Band in the World (10CC)
It's one thing to know it, but another to admit We're the worst band in the world, but we don't give a...
If Garbo played guitar with Valentino on the drums Then we'd be nothing more than a bunch of darma bums, so Tune up...........tune up.......
Well we've never done a day's work in our life, and our records sell in zillions It irrigates my heart with greed...to know that you adore me Up yours...up mine...but up everybody's? That takes time! But we're working on it!..........working on it
We've never seen the van (leave it to the roadies) Never met the roadies (leave 'em in the van) All because of circumstances way beyond control We became the darlings of this thing called rock and roll
Oh, here I am a record on a juke box - a little piece of plastic with a hole Oh, play me....Buy me and you play me and my plastic turns to gold
Here we are together on your hi-fi - a little piece of plastic with a hole Fade me....fade me....fade me....fade me....
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