Uncyclopedia

Symptoms include:

• Brain Damage.
• ...subsequent Brain Salad Surgery
• Becoming Schizoid, especially in the 21st Century.
• Being Gentle (This symptom can only affect giants)
• Listening to bands such as Pink Floyd, Yes, King Crimson, Kansas, Rush, Genesis etc.
• 27 minute song composition (or longer).
• Keyboard solos especially where they do not belong (you heard me Emerson)
• Playing bass guitar
• ...subsiquently taking over the band andtaking credit for everything the band has written
• Not being American
• Mandolins (see Mike Oldfield).
• "Creative" hair stylings (see here).
• A cape.
• A wizard hat.
• A cape and a wizard hat.
• Interest in pirates.
• Going down to Willow Farm to look for butterflies, flutterbies and gutterflies.
• Getting wood when seeing old pics of Greg Lake.
• Using an extended Vocabulary
• Having Breakfast in America
• Bill Bruford.
• Dressing up like a killer garden gnome.
• Getting your ass kicked by Sid Viscious, or kicking Sid Viscious' ass.
• Being a talented musician wasting talents on useless music.
• LSD.
• Being mistaken for Art Rock
• Being mistaken for Heavy Metal
• Being mistaken for Avant-garde
• Being mistaken for Symphonic Rock
• Being mistaken for Jazz Fusion
• Being mistaken for Psycadelic Rock
• Being mistaken for Music that makes sense
• Dreaming about Being an eskimo and loosing your vision due to someone rubbing a mixture of husky wee-wee (I mean doggy wee-wee) and snow into your eyes
• Building walls during concerts... Big f**kin' expensive walls.
• Your wisemen not knowing how it feels to be Thick as a Brick
• Keith Emerson punching Elton John in the face.
• Singing about moonlit knights and eclipses.
• Spitting in fans' faces.
• Calling The Shaggs better than The Beatles
• The ability to understand EXACTLY what Peter Gabriel was talking about (Jon Anderson....).
• Using big, fancy words that mean nothing.
• Thinking about Modest Mussorgsky.
• Drugs.
• Pete Sinfield.
• Mellotrons.
• Touring with a saxophone player.
• Naming a guitar effect after yourself... You heard me, Robert Fripp.
• Summoning angels with guitar riffs (i.e. Steve Howe in Close to the Edge)
• Summoning demons with drum riffs (i.e. Danny Carey in every single Tool song ever)
• Analogue Synthesizers.
• Time signatures unknown to mankind (for example only the shreddergod John Petrucci of Dream Theater knows how to play 69/420).
• Starting to get hits in the 80's (which is quite scary for a prog-rocker, we're just not used to it).
• Starting to talk about modern day warriors and today's Tom Sawyer.
• Thinking that Winston Churchill dressed in drag, he used to be a British flag, PLASTIC BAG, WHAT A DRAG!
• Dawn of light flying between the silent and self sources, chased amid fusions of wonder.
• Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict.
• Repeatedly stating that you will be there

If you feel you may be suffering from any of these symptoms we advise you to seek medical and psychiatric help immediately.

WARNING: Latest Research has shown possible links between the spread of Progressive Rock and Kitten Huffing. Remember kids, JUST SAY NO!