Wigan FC

Nice one Steve.

I hear John Terry phoned up Wayne Bridge the other day after getting the sack as England Captain.

"Wayne, I lost the captain's armband. You couldn't have a look under your bed for me, could you?"

A seven year old boy, a young Spurs fan,  was at the centre of a courtroom drama
yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained
to the best degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to  Wigan FC, whom the boy firmly believes are "not capable of beating anyone."