My lyrics/songs - Progressive Rock Music Forum

Author

Message

Topic Search

Topic Options

mystic fred View Drop Down

Special Collaborator

Honorary Collaborator

Joined: March 13 2006
Location: Londinium
Status: Offline
Points: 4252

Topic: My lyrics/songs
Posted: September 29 2009 at 11:25

^^ very good !

Prog Archives Tour Van

Guests

Forum Guest Group

Posted: September 22 2009 at 16:46

"... the sun’s on its way"

What a great closing line. Smile

A very heartfelt lyric.

geddyx12112 View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 06 2009
Location: New Brunswick
Status: Offline
Points: 105

Posted: September 22 2009 at 15:34

Alright it's been a little while since I've posted anything on this but here's my third song, this one's a little bit old and I never got around to post it, so enjoy. Tell me what you think in the comments.

A Final Goodnight

Farewell my dear friend

Rest your eyes

Night may have come

But day will dawn again

Tonight it’s cold,

But the memories will keep me warm
You’ve branded my soul

A pile old metal left in the dirt

Bringing down angels,

But the candles not burnt

Rusty steel bullets,

That shot down my soul

My heart is still beating

But it’s left with a hole

Farewell my sweet friend,

The marks you left

Will never fade away

Your spirit’s been freed

And in me it stays

The night gets so cold,

But the memories will keep me warm

You’ve branded my soul

A pile old metal left in the dirt

Bringing down angels,

But the candles not burnt

The metal stabbed through me,

The day that you died

I’m drowning myself

In the tears that I’ve cried

The night is pitch black

But I’ll be OK,

The memories are gleeful

And the sun’s on its way

Edited by geddyx12112 - September 22 2009 at 15:38

Guests

Forum Guest Group

Posted: September 12 2009 at 06:41

While i wouldn't necessarily agree with the politics of "Mirrors", you certainly can turn an intelligent rhyme!

The only suggestion I would make is to throw in some other verse forms to break up the aabb rhyme scheme.

camilleanne View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: June 29 2009
Location: Philippines
Status: Offline
Points: 403

Posted: September 02 2009 at 18:39

Hey nice lyrics their!!

The planet is fine the people are f**ked.
-George Carlin-

geddyx12112 View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 06 2009
Location: New Brunswick
Status: Offline
Points: 105

Posted: September 02 2009 at 17:55

This is a second one that I wrote called "Mirrors", it's more of a political thing, and it's about more or less how you can't tell everyone to love everyone because love is an emotion, and by saying that we all need to love one another it's just a mirror reflection of hatred and cruelty being forced upon people. I'd like to get your comments and constructive criticism about this one so tell me what you think.

The whole system has been abandoned
Left in the power of a useless sovereign
All ideals shattered by meek reprises
Shards left in the hands of compromises

Fools and thieves are guised as prophets
And those taught as heroes are just bandits
Is there a pure man left in this land?
Ore are we misled by Satan’s cruel hand?

Politics carpeted by a world of dismay
As we march the troops into fray after fray
While the other side tries to teach us to love
But it’s all communism when push comes to shove

And more crooks tell us to love one another
When really they’re only becoming the killer
Why can’t we decide what our feelings may be?
Is this the world that you once thought was free?

Politics carpeted by a world of dismay
As we march troops into fray after fray
While the other side tries to teach us to love
It’s all just communism when push comes to shove

Politics carpeted by a world of dismay
As we march troops into fray after fray
While the other side tries to teach us to love
You’re all still pigs when push comes to shove

Gleaming mirrors that reflect us at night
Steal us away and reverse what’s in sight
Gold becomes silver as black becomes white
As opposite powers bring us our might

But even as opposites the essence remains
The spirit of emotion will stay the same
As love and hatred fight for their reign
The blanket of humanity is left torn and stained

Fieldofsorrow View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: December 27 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 220

Posted: August 20 2009 at 10:51

Yeah, interesting stuff here. I look forward to reading some more.

Groovy teenage rock with mild prog tendencies: http://www.myspace.com/omniabsenceband

progkidjoel View Drop Down

Prog Reviewer

Joined: March 02 2009
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 19643

Posted: August 14 2009 at 02:15

Really good lyrics - I enjoyed reading them!
Once you put it to music, be sure to keep us updated

-Joel

geddyx12112 View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 06 2009
Location: New Brunswick
Status: Offline
Points: 105

Posted: August 13 2009 at 22:14

Thanks a lot for the compliments tin, and I understand completely what you mean about the "Those who choose to walk the path's lives are growing stale", I've had a lot of trouble with that line since the beginning, actually. Initially it was only an 11 line stanza, but I had a really hard time figuring out how to work it into the music and it just plain didn't sound very good so I ended up with this, there's a good chance that I will change it at some point, but for now that was the best I could come up with... Thanks for the compliments though

Tin Of Hurri Curri View Drop Down

Forum Groupie

Joined: August 12 2009
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 86

Posted: August 13 2009 at 21:54

Excellent lyrics, geddyx12112!

I like the part that goes, "While the zombies walk abreast." That's a powerful image. I also like the end where it goes, "But at what cost do we switch paths / When they all lead the same way?" Very thought-provoking.

Perhaps you could make this part somewhat clearer: "Those who choose to walk the path's / Lives are growing stale."

This is a great song you've written. Clap

geddyx12112 View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 06 2009
Location: New Brunswick
Status: Offline
Points: 105

Posted: August 13 2009 at 21:32

Here is where I'm goiong to put all of the lyrics and songs that I've written, because i've got an awful lot of them and I'll keep posting my new ones here, and you guys can voice your opinions on what you think about them, and maybe give a few improvements. I'm gonna start you off with one entitled "The Path". I'd love to hear what you guys think about this, so feel free to voice your opinions.

The contoured path winds in circles

And all along the trail
Those who choose to walk the path’s
Lives are growing stale

But straying from the road

A young man roams alone

Although the common path’s more traveled

He fears not the unknown

While the boy wanders through the wood

He grows further from the rest

Whose crowds continue to amass

While the zombies walk abreast

Conformity…
Stay from my elegy
You’ll leave only a hole
And the epitaph of my soul

The road less traveled

Lies pristine through the past

And the boy stops to view the nature

While the others walk too fast

And the path more ventured

Lays barren from the multitude

While the weak that chose to walk it

Still walk without a mood

Chorus

And the boy becomes content

While he walks the lonely lane

Yet those thought to be happy

Grow more and more insane

Chorus x2

And the conformists of the beaten course

Have felt their spirits wisp away

And they begin to wonder why

They did not choose to stray

While the young man’s soul roams free with him

Along his gorgeous track

While he pursues all the dreams he had

Which the others always lacked

Chorus

For what’s the point in lying,

When you hear your spirit crying

And your dreams are slowly dying,

And written on their stone

The words of the others

Are for once alone

Chorus

The contoured path circles back around

And those walking the trail

Have fallen to a new trend

As the crowds have all grown frail

But at what cost do we switch paths

When they all lead the same way?

At what cost do we conform?

When we’re left in dismay?

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
mystic fred Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: March 13 2006 Location: Londinium Status: Offline Points: 4252	Topic: My lyrics/songs Posted: September 29 2009 at 11:25
	^^ very good !
	Prog Archives Tour Van

Guests Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Guest Group	Posted: September 22 2009 at 16:46
	"... the sun’s on its way" What a great closing line. A very heartfelt lyric.

geddyx12112 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 06 2009 Location: New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 105	Posted: September 22 2009 at 15:34
	Alright it's been a little while since I've posted anything on this but here's my third song, this one's a little bit old and I never got around to post it, so enjoy. Tell me what you think in the comments. A Final Goodnight Farewell my dear friend Rest your eyes Night may have come But day will dawn again Tonight it’s cold, But the memories will keep me warm You’ve branded my soul A pile old metal left in the dirt Bringing down angels, But the candles not burnt Rusty steel bullets, That shot down my soul My heart is still beating But it’s left with a hole Farewell my sweet friend, The marks you left Will never fade away Your spirit’s been freed And in me it stays The night gets so cold, But the memories will keep me warm You’ve branded my soul A pile old metal left in the dirt Bringing down angels, But the candles not burnt The metal stabbed through me, The day that you died I’m drowning myself In the tears that I’ve cried The night is pitch black But I’ll be OK, The memories are gleeful And the sun’s on its way Edited by geddyx12112 - September 22 2009 at 15:38

Guests Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Guest Group	Posted: September 12 2009 at 06:41
	While i wouldn't necessarily agree with the politics of "Mirrors", you certainly can turn an intelligent rhyme! The only suggestion I would make is to throw in some other verse forms to break up the aabb rhyme scheme.

camilleanne Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: June 29 2009 Location: Philippines Status: Offline Points: 403	Posted: September 02 2009 at 18:39
	Hey nice lyrics their!!
	The planet is fine the people are f**ked. -George Carlin-

geddyx12112 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 06 2009 Location: New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 105	Posted: September 02 2009 at 17:55
	This is a second one that I wrote called "Mirrors", it's more of a political thing, and it's about more or less how you can't tell everyone to love everyone because love is an emotion, and by saying that we all need to love one another it's just a mirror reflection of hatred and cruelty being forced upon people. I'd like to get your comments and constructive criticism about this one so tell me what you think. The whole system has been abandoned Left in the power of a useless sovereign All ideals shattered by meek reprises Shards left in the hands of compromises Fools and thieves are guised as prophets And those taught as heroes are just bandits Is there a pure man left in this land? Ore are we misled by Satan’s cruel hand? Politics carpeted by a world of dismay As we march the troops into fray after fray While the other side tries to teach us to love But it’s all communism when push comes to shove And more crooks tell us to love one another When really they’re only becoming the killer Why can’t we decide what our feelings may be? Is this the world that you once thought was free? Politics carpeted by a world of dismay As we march troops into fray after fray While the other side tries to teach us to love It’s all just communism when push comes to shove Politics carpeted by a world of dismay As we march troops into fray after fray While the other side tries to teach us to love You’re all still pigs when push comes to shove Gleaming mirrors that reflect us at night Steal us away and reverse what’s in sight Gold becomes silver as black becomes white As opposite powers bring us our might But even as opposites the essence remains The spirit of emotion will stay the same As love and hatred fight for their reign The blanket of humanity is left torn and stained

Fieldofsorrow Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: December 27 2008 Status: Offline Points: 220	Posted: August 20 2009 at 10:51
	Yeah, interesting stuff here. I look forward to reading some more.
	Groovy teenage rock with mild prog tendencies: http://www.myspace.com/omniabsenceband

progkidjoel Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: March 02 2009 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 19643	Posted: August 14 2009 at 02:15
	Really good lyrics - I enjoyed reading them! Once you put it to music, be sure to keep us updated -Joel


geddyx12112 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 06 2009 Location: New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 105	Posted: August 13 2009 at 22:14
	Thanks a lot for the compliments tin, and I understand completely what you mean about the "Those who choose to walk the path's lives are growing stale", I've had a lot of trouble with that line since the beginning, actually. Initially it was only an 11 line stanza, but I had a really hard time figuring out how to work it into the music and it just plain didn't sound very good so I ended up with this, there's a good chance that I will change it at some point, but for now that was the best I could come up with... Thanks for the compliments though

Tin Of Hurri Curri Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Groupie Joined: August 12 2009 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 86	Posted: August 13 2009 at 21:54
	Excellent lyrics, geddyx12112! I like the part that goes, "While the zombies walk abreast." That's a powerful image. I also like the end where it goes, "But at what cost do we switch paths / When they all lead the same way?" Very thought-provoking. Perhaps you could make this part somewhat clearer: "Those who choose to walk the path's / Lives are growing stale." This is a great song you've written.

geddyx12112 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 06 2009 Location: New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 105	Posted: August 13 2009 at 21:32
	Here is where I'm goiong to put all of the lyrics and songs that I've written, because i've got an awful lot of them and I'll keep posting my new ones here, and you guys can voice your opinions on what you think about them, and maybe give a few improvements. I'm gonna start you off with one entitled "The Path". I'd love to hear what you guys think about this, so feel free to voice your opinions. The contoured path winds in circles And all along the trail Those who choose to walk the path’s Lives are growing stale But straying from the road A young man roams alone Although the common path’s more traveled He fears not the unknown While the boy wanders through the wood He grows further from the rest Whose crowds continue to amass While the zombies walk abreast Conformity… Stay from my elegy You’ll leave only a hole And the epitaph of my soul The road less traveled Lies pristine through the past And the boy stops to view the nature While the others walk too fast And the path more ventured Lays barren from the multitude While the weak that chose to walk it Still walk without a mood Chorus And the boy becomes content While he walks the lonely lane Yet those thought to be happy Grow more and more insane Chorus x2 And the conformists of the beaten course Have felt their spirits wisp away And they begin to wonder why They did not choose to stray While the young man’s soul roams free with him Along his gorgeous track While he pursues all the dreams he had Which the others always lacked Chorus For what’s the point in lying, When you hear your spirit crying And your dreams are slowly dying, And written on their stone The words of the others Are for once alone Chorus The contoured path circles back around And those walking the trail Have fallen to a new trend As the crowds have all grown frail But at what cost do we switch paths When they all lead the same way? At what cost do we conform? When we’re left in dismay?