Council Tenants' Complaint Letters... - Progressive Rock Music Forum

You made my day!

He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing
(Peter Hammill)

^^ my word Steve, there's a lot of broken lavatory seats about... you'd think that supplying cast iron ones might be cheaper in the long run...

Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson

These are genuine clips from council tenants' complaint letters:

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus
growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My
wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now
getting too much for me.
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no
satisfaction.
23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

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refugee Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member VIP Member Joined: November 20 2006 Location: Greece Status: Offline Points: 7026	Topic: Council Tenants' Complaint Letters... Posted: July 18 2007 at 09:16
	You made my day!
	He say nothing is quite what it seems; I say nothing is nothing (Peter Hammill)

Visitor13 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member VIP Member Joined: February 02 2005 Location: Poland Status: Offline Points: 4702	Posted: July 07 2007 at 08:48


Jared Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: May 06 2005 Location: Hereford, UK Status: Offline Points: 19513	Posted: July 07 2007 at 08:11
	^^ my word Steve, there's a lot of broken lavatory seats about... you'd think that supplying cast iron ones might be cheaper in the long run...
	Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson

Easy Livin Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin Joined: February 21 2004 Location: Scotland Status: Offline Points: 15585	Posted: July 07 2007 at 08:06
	excellent!

mystic fred Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: March 13 2006 Location: Londinium Status: Offline Points: 4252	Posted: July 07 2007 at 07:44
	These are genuine clips from council tenants' complaint letters: 1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. 2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore. 3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. 8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy. 13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. 14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me. 18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. 19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. 20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. 22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. 23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
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