Picture the scene (True story) - Progressive Rock Music Forum

In reply to y'all - My wife knows I have a DVD pornography library, she even likes some of the more "Professional / Erotic" titles I have in my collection, I myself prefer the slow build up and "mood setting" of the quality DVD's - a lot of pornography is not of the quality I seek.

In fact I prefer the Progressive pornography rather than the trashy pop/punk porno for the common moron with no education or imagination....

Im sure you will all appreciate the analogy.....

Nice joke

BTW, does your wife know about your personal library?

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

Nah - Some Funny replys - but he told me that he was listening to "Burn" (The whole CD) - By Deep Purple...His favourite band.......

But he's been traumatised by the experience...........I yold him it could have been worse,,,he could have been listening to Dexy's Midnight Runners or watching a Gay Porn movie................Try explaining that one.....

However his wife didn't find out it was I who lent him the lesbian spectacular from my personal lezbo library..........

Joke....Why don't lesbians need any nails in their coffins ?

A - Because it's all Tongue-n-groove...............

ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'?

Something by Willie Nelson?

FZ - Keep It Greasy

Ding Dong Merrily on High

Beatles - Come Together

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

frank zappa - i promise not to cum in your mouth
AC/DC - given the dog a bone
pearl jam - dirty frank
beastie boys - boomin granny
the bloodhound gang - a lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying
eminem - cum on everybody
tool - jerk off
tool - maynards dick
tool - hooker with a penis
tenacious d - f**k her gently
jackyl - she loves my cock

The Worthless Recluse

Actually your second choice is quite near the actual track he was listening to !!!

Without you Mankind Handkinds through the blues........Classic Gabriel, but in this case not what he was listening to.......

You'll just have to try harder folks......

Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John

Darn it, I should have come up with that, I'm a big fan of dear old Elton.

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

"Counting Out Time"

I'm counting out time,
Got the whole thing down by numbers.
All those numbers!
Give my guidance!
O Lord I need that now.

The day of judgement's come,
And you can bet that I've been resting,
for this testing,
Digesting every word the experts say.
Erogenous zones I love you.
Without you, what would a poor boy do?

Found a girl I wanted to date,
Thought I'd better get it straight.
Went to buy a book before it's too late.
Don't leave nothing to fate.
And I have studied every line, every page in the book,
And now I've got the real thing here, I'm gonna take a look, take a look.

I'm counting out time, hoping it goes like I planned it,
'cos I understand it. Look! I've found the hotspots, Figs 1-9.
-still counting out time, got my finger on the button,
"Don't say nuttin-just lie there still
And I'll get you turned on just fine."
Erongenous zones I love you.
Without you, what would a poor boy do?

Touch and go with 1-6.
Bit of trouble in zone No. 7.
Gotta remember all of my tricks.
There's heaven ahead in No. 11!
Getting crucial responses with dialation of the pupils.
"Honey get hip! It's time to unzip, to unzip. Whipee!"
-Move over Casanova-

I'm counting out time, reaction none to happy,
Please don't slap me,
I'm a red blooded male and the book said I could not fail.
I'm counting out time, I got unexpected distress from my mistress,
I'll get my money back from the bookstore right away.
Erongenous zones I question you-
Without you, what would a poor boy do?
Without you, mankind handkinds thru' the blues.

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Swinton MCR Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 19 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 848	Topic: Picture the scene (True story) Posted: December 18 2004 at 09:50
	In reply to y'all - My wife knows I have a DVD pornography library, she even likes some of the more "Professional / Erotic" titles I have in my collection, I myself prefer the slow build up and "mood setting" of the quality DVD's - a lot of pornography is not of the quality I seek. In fact I prefer the Progressive pornography rather than the trashy pop/punk porno for the common moron with no education or imagination.... Im sure you will all appreciate the analogy.....

gdub411 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 24 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3484	Posted: December 18 2004 at 09:42
	This is going to come as a shock, but I actually like lesbian porn. They REALLY have to look like they're getting into it, though. I can't stand the ones where they are obviously just posing for the camera. I still prefer all male videos and pics, but there is something sensual about true lesbians......perhaps I have a few straight bones in my body.

tuxon Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: September 21 2004 Location: plugged-in Status: Offline Points: 5502	Posted: December 17 2004 at 09:53
	Nice joke BTW, does your wife know about your personal library?
	I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

Reed Lover Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187	Posted: December 17 2004 at 08:22



Swinton MCR Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 19 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 848	Posted: December 17 2004 at 03:22
	Nah - Some Funny replys - but he told me that he was listening to "Burn" (The whole CD) - By Deep Purple...His favourite band....... But he's been traumatised by the experience...........I yold him it could have been worse,,,he could have been listening to Dexy's Midnight Runners or watching a Gay Porn movie................Try explaining that one..... However his wife didn't find out it was I who lent him the lesbian spectacular from my personal lezbo library.......... Joke....Why don't lesbians need any nails in their coffins ? A - Because it's all Tongue-n-groove...............

AngelRat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: July 14 2004 Location: Netherlands Status: Offline Points: 1014	Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:46
	Whitesnake's Greatest Hits 1. Still Of The Night 2. Here I Go Again (radio Mix) 3. Is This Love 4. Love Ain't No Stranger 5. Looking For Love 6. Now You're Gone 7. Slide It In 8. Slow An' Easy 9. Judgement Day 10. You're Gonna Break My Heart Again 11. The Deeper The Love 12. Crying In The Rain 13. Fool For Your Loving 14. Sweet Lady Luck or just one of these?


AngelRat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: July 14 2004 Location: Netherlands Status: Offline Points: 1014	Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:36
	ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'? Something by Willie Nelson?


Wizard/TRueStar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: October 04 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 675	Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:05
	the mothers of invention - Return of the son of monster magnet or anything else with Suzie Creamcheeze

Peter Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:51
	FZ - Keep It Greasy *Ding Dong Merrily on High* Beatles - Come Together
	"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.

Garion81 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 22 2004 Location: So Cal, USA Status: Offline Points: 4338	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:51
	Slum goddess from the lower east side or Coca-cola Duesch by the Fugs?
	"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?"

frenchie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: July 30 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 2234	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:32
	frank zappa - i promise not to cum in your mouth AC/DC - given the dog a bone pearl jam - dirty frank beastie boys - boomin granny the bloodhound gang - a lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying eminem - cum on everybody tool - jerk off tool - maynards dick tool - hooker with a penis tenacious d - f**k her gently jackyl - she loves my cock
	The Worthless Recluse

Reed Lover Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:16
	Carrry your load by whitesnake? http://www.lyricscafe.com/w/whitesnake/carry_your_load.html


Swinton MCR Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 19 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 848	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:13
	Actually your second choice is quite near the actual track he was listening to !!!

Blacksword Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: June 22 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 16130	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:10
	Orgasmatron - Motorhead Slide it in - Whitesnake When she comes - VDGG
	Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!

Swinton MCR Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: August 19 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 848	Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:09
	Without you Mankind Handkinds through the blues........Classic Gabriel, but in this case not what he was listening to....... You'll just have to try harder folks......

Reed Lover Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187	Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:58
	This is from The Grease Soundtrack Album: Born to hand-jive, baby, born to hand-jive, baby - yeah How low can you go, how low can you go, how low can you go, how low can you go Higher, higher, higher and higher Now can you hand-jive, baby, oh can you hand-jive, baby Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, born to hand-jive, oh yeah! Edited by Reed Lover


tuxon Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: September 21 2004 Location: plugged-in Status: Offline Points: 5502	Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:38
	Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John Darn it, I should have come up with that, I'm a big fan of dear old Elton.
	I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

Peter Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669	Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:31
	I Touch Myself -- Divinyls Do the Spin -- (?) When You're In Love with a Beautiful Woman (It's Hard) -- (?) Touch Me -- Doors Turning Japanese -- Vapors Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John Kissing Willy -- Jethro Tool Edited by Peter
	"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.

Velvetclown Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: February 13 2004 Status: Offline Points: 8548	Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:17
	"Counting Out Time" I'm counting out time, Got the whole thing down by numbers. All those numbers! Give my guidance! O Lord I need that now. The day of judgement's come, And you can bet that I've been resting, for this testing, Digesting every word the experts say. Erogenous zones I love you. Without you, what would a poor boy do? Found a girl I wanted to date, Thought I'd better get it straight. Went to buy a book before it's too late. Don't leave nothing to fate. And I have studied every line, every page in the book, And now I've got the real thing here, I'm gonna take a look, take a look. I'm counting out time, hoping it goes like I planned it, 'cos I understand it. Look! I've found the hotspots, Figs 1-9. -still counting out time, got my finger on the button, "Don't say nuttin-just lie there still And I'll get you turned on just fine." Erongenous zones I love you. Without you, what would a poor boy do? Touch and go with 1-6. Bit of trouble in zone No. 7. Gotta remember all of my tricks. There's heaven ahead in No. 11! Getting crucial responses with dialation of the pupils. "Honey get hip! It's time to unzip, to unzip. Whipee!" -Move over Casanova- I'm counting out time, reaction none to happy, Please don't slap me, I'm a red blooded male and the book said I could not fail. I'm counting out time, I got unexpected distress from my mistress, I'll get my money back from the bookstore right away. Erongenous zones I question you- Without you, what would a poor boy do? Without you, mankind handkinds thru' the blues.

threefates Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: June 30 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4215	Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:10
	"I Know What Guys Want" - The Waitresses "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" - Cyndi Lauper Edited by threefates
	THIS IS ELP