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Do You Have Problems Distributing Your Music?

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Grumpyprogfan View Drop Down
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    Posted: November 25 2022 at 07:10
In the last 15 years, I've made about $40 on my music. I don't make music for money. I make music because it's enjoyable. I was lucky to have a decent job to support my passion. It's also cool that people I don't know stream a few seconds of my tunes.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 25 2022 at 05:44
Hi,

I'm not an expert in this thing ... but I can tell you one thing, that many of you do not understand or think that I am simply creating stories.

My dad, was published in at least 36 languages, and I can tell you that we were not "rich" and neither did we get any "fat" checks or goodies in all the years he was alive (died in 1979) and my mom in the next 30 years published even more of his work for which there may have been some money, but we never saw it ... in the last 5 to 6 years of her life (lived to almost 100!!!) we had to sell our house in Santa Barbara in order to pay for her care which was over 12K per month! And in the end, the nine children did not get a whole lot ... we got some money off the house sale that we had in Lisbon, and that was the end of it all .. I paid off my car and all bills with that and have never had a debt since. Lucky I still say!

I suppose that we can find all kinds of this and that, but in the end, published in so many places and no money showing up ... that's a bit absurd, isn't it? So, my thinking that too much is stolen away, is not quite exactly a stupid idea ... you don't think mom would smile and joke if she ever got a check for 10K? She had to report it on her taxes, you guys!

When/where do you draw the line? On Paul Mac bending Apple's arm until he got what he wanted? What about the rest?

There was some "cynicism" about a record company needing a big money maker that would help finance some of the lesser bands, and you and I know that is just a joke ... since so few of those bands got through and many did it on their own!

The only thing I know for sure, is that ... you have to do what you do for you ... and not count the nickels and dimes and sometimes this is the great leveler ... surprising as heck, but in the end, it simply says ... you need to stick with what you know and not worry about the distribution which will bring down your ability to do your work!

PLAIN AND SIMPLE!

I just find it sad to see people losing their spark ... you gonna get hurt and get sick without it! I saw two people die off giving "up" ... and I want to tell you NOW ... I really don't want to see it again! Or even hear about it if it is possible.


Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chopper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 25 2022 at 03:59
Yesterday someone posted on Twitter about the derisory rate that Spotify pay to artists. Quite a few musicians posted in response about Bandcamp and how good they are in comparison. One of them said he is on Spotify for the exposure and Bandcamp for the money. Now I'm not suggesting they make a fortune from it but they do sell CDs and other merch that provide an income. It's wrong to suggest they're ripping people off.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 15 2022 at 09:04
Hi Chopper, I think Mosh hasn't gone far enough. ;-) 

Everyone in music is there to rip the artist off. ;-) 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chopper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 15 2022 at 06:09
Originally posted by moshkito moshkito wrote:

AND ... the bandcamp folks don't care because they are there to rip the artist, not to help anyone make money but themselves!

Not sure that's correct (in fact it's borderline libel) - don't forget most Bandcamp artists are there by choice because they are independent and they choose to have their music on Bandcamp. That includes PA member Guy Manning. I don't know the exact rates they get for their music but it's better than the likes of Spotify, and don't forget the regular Bandcamp Fridays where the artists get all the money.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MortSahlFan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 14 2022 at 13:27
Originally posted by progaardvark progaardvark wrote:

Originally posted by MortSahlFan MortSahlFan wrote:


And then further inspection, my YouTube stats showed me that 40% of viewers have stopped within 30 seconds! Only 3.6% actually finished it.


From my experience, with both music and non-music channels, this is actually common across all of YouTube. Some of the reasons for this are people clicking on the wrong thumbnail, viewers that have the "next video" function turned on that aren't interested and skip it, search engine bot visits, etc. So, a certain percentage that drop off from the first 30 seconds aren't actual legitimate viewers.

Why so few make it to the end can be a number of reasons: impatience, people that have little time to watch all the way through, people that don't like the content and move on, etc. The impatience and little time people have these days is generally reflected in the soundbite delivery of media currently, and YouTube's statistics reflect this phenomenon. It may be one of the reasons why YouTube shorts have been generally very popular, albeit modeled off of TikTok. I have no answers as to why our society is like this today. Call it information/entertainment overload or short attention spans or something else. All could be equally right or wrong or some combination thereof.


Those are all points I agree with.. By coincidence/accident, I got into the cell phone business in 2000, right after graduating. By 2005 after managing a few stores, I got my own with a high school friend, and it's amazing how those who never had a cell phone just a week before suddenly became addicted and would almost melt-down if they screwed it up. I'm thinking of someone who kept hitting "Airplane Mode".

I have a flip phone and barely use it. I don't text. I'm not anti-technology, but I know my concentration/focus isn't what it used to be, and I REALLY notice this from friends/family. I also notice people who used to be so passionate about things aren't. Everyone I knew loved music, went to concerts, and in the last handful of years, I can't find anyone to go, and I stopped going. Although, I did e-mail my cousin, since he does like Chicago, but he flaked out on me before. That's another thing. People's word seems to mean nothing anymore, and because it's becoming more and more common, of course it's more and more acceptable. 99% of communication seems like it's not face-to-face, and instead of answering a person, people take their time with the best reply possible, if they reply at all. "I never got your message. My phone died".

I don't even have a radio or stereo - I connect my HDMI to my TV and watch/listen that way. Even a dozen of years ago, I don't remember buying CDs, but I did spend a lot more money on concerts because they uploaded their music onto YouTube. When I do find someone/something interesting, and I don't like to admit it, I only send $1. I actually get charged $1 for every online transaction because I have to get one of those pre-paid debit cards, but I just hope that person thinks someone out there likes their stuff, cares, and hopefully they keep going on. But, I do see MANY people giving a ton of money to millionaires via Superchat. I guess it's my approach to voting -- I'd rather vote 3rd party for encouragement and to show the system we're not happy.. A few months ago, I was under $5, which is my monthly fee for my debit card, so I thought I'd go find a song or two and give each $1 on bandcamp. And I couldn't find anything I liked, despite using categories I was in the mood for (and sent it to a theater instead). With so many sites and with so many people using easy routes to record/upload music, there's so much, and just like any medium, only 1% of it is great, and so now one has to sift through a ton of stuff, and I usually just revert to YouTube recommendations - mostly 70s prog :)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 14 2022 at 09:26
Hi fellas ! Just to clarify on my "no one on Bandcamp buys music any more" - I'm talking about the general rule here rather than the exceptions, of which two fine and sterling gentlemen are mentioned above. ;-) 

Unfortunately, you can't argue with the analytics. 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2022 at 15:10
Originally posted by MortSahlFan MortSahlFan wrote:


And then further inspection, my YouTube stats showed me that 40% of viewers have stopped within 30 seconds! Only 3.6% actually finished it.


From my experience, with both music and non-music channels, this is actually common across all of YouTube. Some of the reasons for this are people clicking on the wrong thumbnail, viewers that have the "next video" function turned on that aren't interested and skip it, search engine bot visits, etc. So, a certain percentage that drop off from the first 30 seconds aren't actual legitimate viewers.

Why so few make it to the end can be a number of reasons: impatience, people that have little time to watch all the way through, people that don't like the content and move on, etc. The impatience and little time people have these days is generally reflected in the soundbite delivery of media currently, and YouTube's statistics reflect this phenomenon. It may be one of the reasons why YouTube shorts have been generally very popular, albeit modeled off of TikTok. I have no answers as to why our society is like this today. Call it information/entertainment overload or short attention spans or something else. All could be equally right or wrong or some combination thereof.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2022 at 11:10
Originally posted by chopper chopper wrote:

Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

Because (despite all the protests on places like Prog Archives, people do not buy music. Anyone who tells you they do is lying. Bandcamp is essentially a giant free radio station for people too mean to pay for Spotify. I'm through with it. 


I buy a lot of CDs from Bandcamp, 47 at the current count. It's where I get most of my CDs from nowadays. It's possible to limit the number of tracks/plays people can play for free and personally I like to support the artists.

Hi,

I stopped buying anything from Bandcamp because my bank locks down their account as unsafe. And it's worse ... I can't buy anything from Europe because of the same problem, although I think that now it is a serious issue with the Pound and the Euro not communicating well at all!

I tried getting some of the new German stuff ... and can't get any of it ... I did get a CD or two by Gert Emmens, but his stuff in the past 5 to 10 years that guy plays on Space Pirate Radio ... I'll never be able to have it!

AND ... the bandcamp folks don't care because they are there to rip the artist, not to help anyone make money but themselves!


Edited by moshkito - November 12 2022 at 11:11
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chopper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2022 at 06:14
Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

Because (despite all the protests on places like Prog Archives, people do not buy music. Anyone who tells you they do is lying. Bandcamp is essentially a giant free radio station for people too mean to pay for Spotify. I'm through with it. 


I buy a lot of CDs from Bandcamp, 47 at the current count. It's where I get most of my CDs from nowadays. It's possible to limit the number of tracks/plays people can play for free and personally I like to support the artists.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MortSahlFan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2022 at 05:07
Thanks, and I'll look up some of those names/books. I've been to Europe a handful of times (Netherlands, always), and have noticed that the "far-out" singles always made it big there. Anti-Establishment maybe (social issues, as well), but also a very openness of "Let's give them a chance".

Jim Morrison only missed one show - too much hash/vodka in Amsterdam.. The audience was offered two choices. Get your money back, or see The Doors without him. They were more than happy to see any show. I read a few quotes, and it was basically, "Let's give them a chance" - which is what it's all about. How else will you ever expand?

To me, this was the end of prog-rock.. To me, a band in 2022 trying to sound like YES with modern technology is bullsh*t..



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 12 2022 at 03:26
Originally posted by MortSahlFan MortSahlFan wrote:

...
To add on an earlier response, "The problem is who runs the industry", the same is constantly said about movies. It has always been a business, but the studio heads back then loved movies/music, now, they only love money/power and don't take chances.
...

Hi,

And this was the reason why I ended up listening to European music in the 70's ... it was obviously not mandated by a record company, and it was so clear in so many countries, even though England was still having issues with its version of Brexit ... the rich control the country ... PERIOD ... and all those pirate brouhahas will die fighting for nothing ... and they lost that battle, but many years later they took it back ... they call it "brexit" now, and they might as well be honest about it ... we own and collect everything since we are the powerful and have the media to tell lies and get folks to believe us that we do it better! They even try to make you feel guilty for not liking the crown!

However, in the rest of Europe there was a very strong line of anti establishment thing in many countries for various reasons and in the BBC special on Krautrock, Edgar Froese actually said the right thing ... it was a new time, a new place, no past and only a future ... and we went for it! 

You have to see and understand that. And so many "economies" in Europe were shattered that it was easier for folks to do their thing, but when you read "Future Days" you know that Germany only published "schlagger" and some classical music. PERIOD. And all the bands went out of the country to "make it" and that is what got "krautrock" their fame and name ... but it turns out the same thing was happening in Italy, Spain, France and many other places ... of course, even inspired by other countries with similar situations ... one off dictatorship, one a mess in politics, one delusional by Fellini ... and then you have America ... who has more and less politics than anyone else since it is all "entertainment" here and just a media fun game ... today red, tomorrow blue and next day purple scrim in the background ...  everyone is a star! ... and they were all "wrong" and only half right ... and the game continues. No "loser" per se, since it isn't football, or basketball or baseball! 

But the media control is impossible to deal with ... one pres went out to get people out of their job for saying good morning VietNam ... and now the same person is going around trying to say that everything is some kind of this or that cheating me of my chance to be famous ... it's all media and nothing else ... not even politics anymore, since they don't care about the weather, the ozone, or the war in Ukraine ... they only care about their number on the media show ... and their name being mentioned 100 times per hour!

It's really hard to not be discouraged, but I was around a famous person, and met many more in music, and the one thing I loved the most? The best stuck to their source, and only Pedro and Gilly could ever understand Daevid wanting to do more guitar shops for the glissando and even create a symphony off it ... because we thought the stuff was far out! In my book, I really do not need anyone else to show me the clue to their own inner beauty ... and Gilly's Beat Poetry is also a part of it ... she took computer paper folded up and 2 feet high and paged it and sang off it in SF ... and you would never know which words were a part of the "lyrics" or not ... well none of us gave a darn when Dean Moriarty did it either! Until after when we tried to make sense of it all ... it's not about "sense" ... it's about "doing" and this is what improvisation and experimentation is about ... that we are missing so much!

We forgot the source.

Plain and simple.

If you can, I recommend reading some Peter Brook ... he's theater, film, and performance ... but his words and various details about exercises and such ... are heavenly! If only musicians had such sense and strength ... so much more music/art would come alive ... but we are afraid ... of ourselves!

Even if no one ever sees it or hears it ... you know inside ... you really went for it ... and that is all that matters!


Edited by moshkito - November 12 2022 at 03:29
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MortSahlFan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2022 at 16:17
Thanks for the responses... It's sad that people like your music, but can't even send you a couple of dollars...

I live in one of those cities in the US where I can't drink the water, but at 40, I'm too stubborn to get a "real job" and would rather sell possessions. I've even thought of selling all my musical equipment (or most of it). But I know it's ... like having to see a woman every night who cheated on you. I wouldn't know about that, but I doubt I would sell them. But the same problem is, I'm only interested in music, movies, humor..

To add on an earlier response, "The problem is who runs the industry", the same is constantly said about movies. It has always been a business, but the studio heads back then loved movies/music, now, they only love money/power and don't take chances.

I have been putting more work in, guerilla (and gorilla) style, but I think it might be a last-ditch effort. Maybe doubt is setting in for me?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2022 at 15:32
Originally posted by I prophesy disaster I prophesy disaster wrote:

...
I actually do buy music from Bandcamp. However, I listen to the music several times before actually paying for it. I even clear my browser history, cookies, etc so that I won't be bothered by requests to buy the music ("yeah, yeah, I'll pay when I'm ready to pay... I won't be bullied into it"). As a rule, if I'm playing the music several times, it's because I want the music, and I want to have the music in my possession, so I intend to pay for it.
...

Hi,

This is so different from the 70's when, we more often than not, bought something simply by the cover or just from (MAYBE!!!) even having heard a snip somewhere ... or to make sure that jerk that said TD was washing machine music, got his some dildoe up his ideas!

And I think there is something to that ability ... you learned to feel things the first time, without a hint or any ideas, and I think that is a VERY IMPORTANT part of discovering the art and the value of a lot of work, never mind the person!

This is where the music, not just the arts, have lost a lot of their subtleties ... because now you are getting into it with some of your own expectations and thoughts, and the ability for it to sound new and exciting, differs when you know nothing about it ... and this is the main reason why so many musicians, are afraid of IMPROVISATION and a lot of ideas and content, having to do with experimentation ... and mentioned as an excuse that the public won't like it ... which to me is like saying a person does not know who they are without looking at those around them!

You have to know the difference, when it comes to the arts and how you want to see it ... you are there to see and check something new or a different person ... and it's like all the information about the new girl has already been sent you ... heck ... get a _____ ... much easier to deal with and less hassle and cheaper!

To me, there is "magic" in meeting the "nothing" you don't know. And how it helps you as a person internally can not be measured at all. This is so much like the "doors" in the Tibetan Book of the Dead ... written hundreds and hundreds of years ago, and we're still afraid! 

We have learned nothing?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote I prophesy disaster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2022 at 09:35
Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

people do not buy music. Anyone who tells you they do is lying. Bandcamp is essentially a giant free radio station for people too mean to pay for Spotify.
 
I actually do buy music from Bandcamp. However, I listen to the music several times before actually paying for it. I even clear my browser history, cookies, etc so that I won't be bothered by requests to buy the music ("yeah, yeah, I'll pay when I'm ready to pay... I won't be bullied into it"). As a rule, if I'm playing the music several times, it's because I want the music, and I want to have the music in my possession, so I intend to pay for it.
 
On the other hand, if I listen to something only once or maybe twice, then I'm not that into it and won't be paying for it.
 

No, I know how to behave in the restaurant now, I don't tear at the meat with my hands. If I've become a man of the world somehow, that's not necessarily to say I'm a worldly man.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2022 at 08:58
Originally posted by Davesax1965 Davesax1965 wrote:

I'm in Marketing, so I know how to shift stuff. ;-) 
...say "It's all free" but I've had years of freeloaders just vacuuming up free tracks and not supporting the musical project. 

So that's my solution. ;-)

Hi,

As I like to say, you have to "play" for yourself ... not a "result" and sometimes I wonder about creativity in this manner ... I never end up with something I had before or started before ... it all arrived brand new and different, and what I "though" is just crap down the toilet!

But we live in a commercial time and place, and it is difficult to not see the music as something that could/should and would help you a little bit more than just a nickel ... and I'm of the opinion that too many of those websites are surreptitiously doing what record companies did for years ... sold a million and then told you they only sold 50K. Ohhhh ... excuse me ... the number has to be big enough to show in Variety so everyone thinks it is better than the rest!

Doing your "own" web site with the ability to sell something is not had these days, and if, all of a sudden, you sell a lot more, and someone notices the new car paid for in cash ... I guarantee you that there will be a lot of fiery fudgers knocking at your door a la Wish You Were Here ... such an obvious statement about making a deal with the devil!

I, generally, only review the stuff I have on hand, and unfortunately I do not have any of yours, and the past 10 years on Social Security makes it hard for me to buy a lot of music ... or even watch movies for me to review (only foreign stuff that is not available in the sh*t rags of websites!) ... so yeah, for me, the art suffers and I do not wish to impose myself on your work or views. You have, in my book, done some very nice things and worthy of mention, and it even bothers me that some folks will call this or that "rag" (favorite term!) a great electronic musician, and compared to your originality, it is garbage!

The "industry" is manned by the wrong people ... and until we wake up to that, we will not find a way to break the monopoly ... we did it in the 70's courtesy of FM RADIO here in America, but since then ... there is no more "freedom fighters" as I like to call ourselves. And until we do/find this music, I am not sure that folks that deserve the credit and attention, will get it properly.

Was just watching that thing about Roland ... and you know what I thought? Davesax has more to say about music and creativity ... than the actual history of the instrument ... even though the creative side of it is parallel for my view of it. You do the same with the very things you design and create because you are looking for something slightly different that you think you can create and manipulate!

Originality is tough ... but if it is about who you are as a person, and its connection to that very deep and far field in our sub-conscious that have no words to go by, then ... the only option is to create our own, and maybe some of Spike's spaghetti will stick to that parliament goof off of a king!


Edited by moshkito - November 11 2022 at 08:58
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Davesax1965 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 11 2022 at 07:54
I'm in Marketing, so I know how to shift stuff. ;-) 

I've had my Bandcamp site up for years. I get quite a lot of people playing my stuff, and since some of it is up to 37 minutes long, that must mean they quite like it. Usual thing, lots of plays, no sales. 

Why ? Because (despite all the protests on places like Prog Archives, people do not buy music. Anyone who tells you they do is lying. Bandcamp is essentially a giant free radio station for people too mean to pay for Spotify. I'm through with it. 

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to download all the stuff I did and close my site. I'm going to amuse myself by playing with local musicians and forget about putting music up (for free or not) on the internet. Yes, I could say "It's all free" but I've had years of freeloaders just vacuuming up free tracks and not supporting the musical project. 

So that's my solution. ;-)

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 02 2022 at 06:24
Hi,

Peter Michael Hamel in his book FROM MUSIC TO THE SELF wrote a few fun things, amidst some really sharp comments about rock music!

The fun one was an old man up on the hill playing a one string instrument he made, and he is saying to himself, or anyone around him ... I got it! I got it! I got it! ... and of course many visitors or any one else go ... what? 

I look at all of it, regardless, as important, since the learning and "inner" trip that helps you create is something that MUST NOT BE DEPENDENT on the outside, but have a thread, or avenue, to the inside that CAN NOT BE BROKEN, because if it is, you are done creatively!

I'm sorry that it took this long and you now feel unsatisfied. After so many years, my take is that there is a need for solid self reflection to find out how valuable and important this is, and let go of ideas and thoughts about anything regarding the music ... how about turn out the lights and just play ... not record, and stay on it for 3 hours (part of an improvisation exercise btw), when you find out accidentally that what you are doing cannot rely on what you know, and you then start learning how to find the moments that are new and then add something to them. This is important, since it only takes 30 minutes and all your "chops" are done, and you will find quickly that repeating it is not fun, and makes you want to get out of the exercise. The exercise is about finding out what you have within ... NOT WHAT YOU KNOW WITHOUT (or outside!).

I hope the very best for you ... I can see your wanting to get lucky somewhere, but sometimes it's not happening, and my only thoughts (TO MYSELF) are that I have to come to grips with that or my sadness and disappointments end up on everything I write and do ... which is not the person or the artist I imagine myself to be.

Good luck ... I wish I could help more ... but it is such an individual thing that is hard for any ideas or comments to be made that will help at all ... it is ALL about YOU ... and you have to have a talk with your "mirror" as far as I can see.
Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told!
www.pedrosena.com
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MortSahlFan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2022 at 08:35
Published or not, if you write the greatest book or song, it probably won't get any attention. But, you just put it up everywhere you can and hope for the best. And then try it again. I don't know anymore, but time is running out for me.

Yes, the work in of itself is very important, but it's like a stand-up comedian performing to an empty audience. With music, I can create studio only music with my one microphone and instruments, but I'm tired of being a "starving artist". I've been homeless in 4 continents, looking for the right band, right artists, right opportunity. I've been doing everything myself for 15 years, and I don't have the motivation anymore, and when I do, I don't think the work is measures, so I think, "OK, I did the work, now it's time to distribute it" and I'm sure part of the lack of motivation is the lack of audience. I miss playing live with a band, but I've dealt with so many bullsh*tters and frankly, people who think they're talented. "I've been playing 30 years" means nothing to me. "Show me" I think to myself.... I'm getting older, and not sure if heartbreak is worth it, because like you said, most don't care.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote moshkito Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 01 2022 at 07:46
Hi,

My answer is not likely to be the one that you might want to hear, but let's see what we have.

I have been writing a lot for the last 30 years. I have, never, worried about it being sold, published or shown anywhere, and stuck to the feel and desire I had for what I see, in my inner movie, which often times can not be described at all, but manages to show up in pieces in a poem, or somewhere else.

My dad was very well known and published in some 40 languages (at last count) and I still do not see a whole lot of "great" in there, even if I am being possibly a bit analytical and wanting something else. There were issues here ... I got him to appreciate Tomita (Snowflakes are Dancing), Jean Michel Jarre, Vangelis ... in a house that had been well known for a lot of music, and specially, as our sisters had been to Europe and brought Aphrodite's Child and Vangelis and Demis Roussos along with others with them ... so a lot of this stuff did not escape his ears, and probably took some tuning to get away from his collection of over 3K LP's of classical music and some 100 operas.

What did it get my dad? Stabbings from many professors at UCSB and some other locations because he was a "scholar" and not a "kisser" like most of the others! But he continued, and paid the price for it with cancer in 1979. 

YOU CAN NOT STOP THE SPIRIT/SOUL, AND IF YOU FEEL IT, do yourself a favor ... NEVER QUIT ON IT! You will get sick if you do!

In the early 1990's I joined the YGDRASIL JOURNAL OF POETIC ARTS, and for many years I created several issues of new materials that were not the regular pattern for "poetry", but showed a different side of the creative endeavor, one that was more in tune with the "inner self", than it was with the idea that things have to look this way or that. This went on to the point where one time, I wanted to grab a few folks from the "alt.poetry" group in Fido, only to be turned down ... get this ... "you guys are too good!" ... and the only thing that we knew at the YGDRASIL was "the flow", and we never stopped it, and Klaus Gerken is still putting it down and it is ARCHIVED in the NATIONAL LIBRARY OF CANADA. 

I suppose that is a huge accomplishment, but it is a moment in time, and what I write today is nowhere near the feelings or the thoughts that took place in that time.

I have been told, by family and friends ... why don't I publish it? With 500 film reviews (foreign film mostly), over 200 poems, several short stories, and now working on three novels (at almost the same time ... totally nutZZZZZ!) ... and I realize that with the Internet these days, it is all about the fame and the flourish, and my material is not about that ... AT ALL! So, my making an effort to get it "published" is only going to be ignored even faster ... sort of like that thread about poems by a member here, and he didn't even bother reading it, and you know it, because it is hard for folks to not say something when they have read it all ... and some folks here, simply don't care, just like so many in the Internet.

I read a lot, and the only things I reply have to do with the whole thing and the "idea" and "concept" not just a single line comment, the obvious statement that the whole thing is not important to the reader. 

All in all, for me, it is about the INNER PEACE I get from writing, and being able to choose the films I see, and not feel like I have to see Gop Tun, just so others around me, and at PA think I'm with it, or I am with the "beat" of now ... instead of a beat from Pluto or Alpha Centauri!

In the end, today's world is not about writing, or creating, and has become way too commercial for you and I to be able to do our thing ... specially if it is different and not on par with everyone else ... which is where my "socialist" joke comes from ... everyone is the same and gets the same and sees the same and listens to the same and does the same!

I'm very "independent" in all this ... and if someone, here or elsewhere, appreciates it I will humbly bow and say thank you, and if I die the next day, so be it. I did not cheat on my inner self, and lived it to the best of my knowledge.

AND, most importantly, while writing a book on a specific title and idea (it will show up soon to a handful of folks here) ... the most important side of it all IS NOT THE RESULT ... it is the process that you discovered that you will dump and find another one tomorrow, that helps you bring out what you do ... and this is specially important in the "music" that you do ... and yes, I would like to hear it and will comment on it ... if requested. 

Sorry this is long, but I find it sad when folks feel that they are losing their feel and desire because they are not loved or wanted by the powers that be. It is the way of the world, and has always been like that ... but because we can say something on the Internet nowadays, it makes it look like it is something new and different that no one has ever felt.

With much care ... the art of it all is the life for me. Not anything else. And I live for the art.

 
Music is not just for listening ... it is for LIVING ... you got to feel it to know what's it about! Not being told!
www.pedrosena.com
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