Author |
Topic Search Topic Options
|
Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67407
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 17:33 |
Deep-frozen to wait for the moment when technology has advanced to the point where I can be safely turned into a cyborg.
|
|
Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam
Joined: April 29 2006
Location: Atlantais
Status: Offline
Points: 29630
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 17:20 |
Thanks, I used to memorize those skits when I was a kid.
|
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
|
|
tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 14:31 |
Slartibartfast wrote:
I've been told being shoved into the flames (crackle, crackle, crackle) is not so hot if you're not quite dead.
"We can burn her, bury her, or dump her." Monty Python's Undertaker's Sketch
That gives me an idea. Is being eaten an option?
|
I love that sketch! Here is the full dialogue: Undertaker |
Morning. |
Man |
Good Morning. |
Undertaker |
What can I do for you, squire? |
Man |
Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. You
see, my mother has just died. |
Undertaker |
Ah well, we can help you. We deal with
stiffs. |
Man |
What? |
Undertaker |
Well, there's three things we can do with
your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her. |
Man |
Dump her? |
Undertaker |
Dump her in the Thames. |
Man |
What? |
Undertaker |
Oh, did you like her? |
Man |
Yes! |
Undertaker |
Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well,
what do you think? We can bury her or burn her. |
Man |
Well, which do you recommend? |
Undertaker |
Well, they're both nasty. If we burn her,
she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a
bit of a shock if she's not quite dead, but quick. (the audience
starts booing) and then we give you handful of ashes, which you can
pretend are hers. |
Man |
Oh. |
Undertaker |
Or, if we bury her she gets eaten up lots
of weevils, and nasty maggots, (the booing increases) which as
I said before is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. |
Man |
I see. Well, she's definitely dead. |
Undertaker |
Where is she? |
Man |
She's in this sack. |
Undertaker |
Can I have a look? She looks quite young.
|
Man |
Yes, yes, she was. |
|
Increasing protests from audience |
Undertaker |
(calling) Fred! |
Fred's voice |
Yeah? |
Undertaker |
I think we've got an eater. |
Man |
What? |
|
Another undertaker pokes his head round the door |
Fred |
Right, I'll get the oven on. (goes off)
|
Man |
Er, excuse me, um, are you suggesting eating
my mother? |
Undertaker |
Er ... Yeah. Not raw. Cooked. |
Man |
What? |
Undertaker |
Yes, roasted with a few french fries,
broccoli, horseradish sauce ... |
Man |
Well, I do feel a bit peckish. |
Voice From Audience |
Disgraceful! Boo! (etc.) |
Undertaker |
Great! |
Man |
Can we have some parsnips? |
Undertaker |
(calling) Fred - get some parsnips.
|
Man |
I really don't think I should. |
Undertaker |
Look, tell you what, we'll eat her, if you
feel a bit guilty about it after, we can dig a grave and you can throw
up in it. |
|
|
Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam
Joined: April 29 2006
Location: Atlantais
Status: Offline
Points: 29630
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 14:04 |
I've been told being shoved into the flames (crackle, crackle, crackle) is not so hot if you're not quite dead.
"We can burn her, bury her, or dump her." Monty Python's Undertaker's Sketch
That gives me an idea. Is being eaten an option?
Edited by Slartibartfast - January 01 2008 at 14:05
|
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
|
|
cynthiasmallet
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 01 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 545
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 13:53 |
Cremated, for fear of being buried alive and because the others are stupid.
|
Would you like to watch TV, or get between the sheets, or contemplate the silent freeway, would you like something to eat?
|
|
tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 13:50 |
ita_prog_fan wrote:
.
When i die.. i'll be dead ! Who cares about ceremonies !
.
|
The ceremony wouldn't be so much for you, but for those who knew you and cared for you...it's part of what makes us human, how we treat our dead.
|
|
Man With Hat
Collaborator
Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team
Joined: March 12 2005
Location: Neurotica
Status: Offline
Points: 166178
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 01:38 |
heyitsthatguy wrote:
all of the above |
You'd Have To Choose an order.
|
Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
|
|
Hirgwath
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 262
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 01:32 |
King Crimson776 wrote:
None of the above for me, I'll find a way to not die, but rather mix the world of the living and the dead and everything else and build a bridge across forever and nothing will make sense anymore and it will be epic. |
Amen.
|
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: taller than a tree.
Toki Wartooth: not a bumblebee.
|
|
King Crimson776
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 12 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
|
Posted: January 01 2008 at 01:20 |
heyitsthatguy wrote:
all of the above
|
best comment ever, period.
None of the above for me, I'll find a way to not die, but rather mix the world of the living and the dead and everything else and build a bridge across forever and nothing will make sense anymore and it will be epic.
|
|
Hirgwath
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 262
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 19:27 |
asimplemistake wrote:
I'd say getting frozen is kinda selfish, so I'd either want to be buried...or now that i think about it, frozen and sent out to space to be later revived via robots in my space ship once I reach new life forms...
|
Selfish? Whatever, I want to live! Who cares if my carcass is a leech to the human race?
|
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: taller than a tree.
Toki Wartooth: not a bumblebee.
|
|
asimplemistake
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 13 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 840
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 19:17 |
I'd say getting frozen is kinda selfish, so I'd either want to be buried...or now that i think about it, frozen and sent out to space to be later revived via robots in my space ship once I reach new life forms...
|
|
rileydog22
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2005
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline
Points: 8844
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 19:03 |
Some Vikings were put in a boat and pushed out to sea, others put in a boat and cremated, and still others buried in their boats.
|
|
|
magnus
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 19 2006
Location: Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 865
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 14:27 |
Shot into space(with a high enough velocity to reach galaxies far far away).
|
The scattered jigsaw of my redemption laid out before my eyes
Each piece as amorphous as the other - Each piece in its lack of shape a lie
|
|
Kotro
Prog Reviewer
Joined: August 16 2004
Location: Portugal
Status: Online
Points: 2815
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 11:58 |
Blacksword wrote:
I'd like to be stuffed and put on display in my local pub.. |
Yay, Bentham-style! I'll have that one too. Just not so sure about being displayed in a pub - there is some ressurecting booze out there, and the dead DO need their rest...
|
Bigger on the inside.
|
|
progcabaretdoll
Forum Groupie
Joined: September 07 2007
Location: Malaysia
Status: Offline
Points: 84
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 11:45 |
i chose cremention.
|
|
Tuzvihar
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: May 18 2005
Location: C. Schinesghe
Status: Offline
Points: 13536
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 10:35 |
ita_prog_fan wrote:
.
When i die.. i'll be dead ! Who cares about ceremonies !
.
|
Agreed!
|
"Music is much like f**king, but some composers can't climax and others climax too often, leaving themselves and the listener jaded and spent."
Charles Bukowski
|
|
Blacksword
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 22 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 16130
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 10:25 |
I'd like to be stuffed and put on display in my local pub..
|
|
ita_prog_fan
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 20 2005
Location: Italy
Status: Offline
Points: 258
|
Posted: December 31 2007 at 05:41 |
.
When i die.. i'll be dead ! Who cares about ceremonies !
.
|
|
tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
|
Posted: December 30 2007 at 11:54 |
Viking funeral...hell yeah!
|
|
Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam
Joined: April 29 2006
Location: Atlantais
Status: Offline
Points: 29630
|
Posted: December 30 2007 at 05:24 |
Once I'm dead I'm really not going to care WTF you do with the body, forced to pick one, It would have to be cremation.
|
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
|
|
Donate monthly and keep PA fast-loading and ad-free forever.