The Ranting Room

1800iareyay wrote: Okay, I'm on Facebook a lot and everyone keeps talking about Dave Matthews, so I posted a rant. Here it is: Dave Matthews is not an musician. The banal, uninspired noise that emanates from his instrument and throat is the very opposite of music. It creates an artistic black hole that sucks in creativity, originality, wit, and substance and crushes it with an unfathomably massive gravitational field. Every Dave Matthews song sounds the same. In the early days, his singing sounds like he is permanently trapped in puberty, with constant cracks. Now, he has "matured" into simply mumbling into a microphone like some Eddie Vedder wannabe. If you don't know who Eddie Vedder is you paid no attention to grunge (shame on you). How is being stoned convey depth? He has a guitar. I'm not sure why, because he doesn't play it. Now, some of you might think otherwise. To the untrained eye he looks as if he is playing. However, to anyone who has ever seen a concert featuring a band that truly play s from the heart and has spent years honing their craft into something that is both beautiful and challenging, Dave Matthews looks like a cymbal monkey hitting a guitar hoping it will make noise. As if to prove my point, the mainstream music press loves them. Let me make something very clear, Rolling Stone wouldn't know good music if it bit them in the ass and fondled their nutsack. When Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath first hit the scene, RS blasted them for being talentless. Those two bands are essentially responsible for all hard rock and heavy metal that followed, be it Slayer, Slipknot, Dream Theater, HIM, or anyone else that plays abrasive music. However, Justin Timberlake and Dave Matthews are considered edgy and innovative? If you think JT or DMB is creative and original, kill yourself. Timberlake is a funny, cool guy but his music career is nothing more than an aspiration to be like Michael Jackson, only without the child molestation (not a bad goal, but hardly original). One critic actually called DMB progressive and complex. Calling the droning outpourings of Dave Matthews "progressive" is kind of like calling Taco Bell "authentic Mexican." People also praise his lyrics, which is insane because they're so insipid and meaningless. It's like s****y middle school poetry. His bull  political stances annoy me nearly as much as his lyrics, but I have an easier time listening to his speeches because they don't feature his music. In traditional hippie fashion, he is an environmentalist, yet he owns an impressive amount of land that he annually tears apart in order to plant things he could easily buy in a store. The people who grow things to put in markets will always have their land, so why till more land, ensuring that trees and wildlife will never flourish there just so you can say you make your own food? His environmentalism took a hit when he dumped the band's crap over a bridge, striking a passing tour boat. Yes, it is funny. Still, I'd rather be covered in the s**t of the Dave Matthews Band that to have the putrid, vile slime that they create on stage sodomize my ears. Remember, real s**t washes off. S****y music stays with you forever, mocking you as you try to sleep, or work, or simply live. Now, he's playing a charity gig for Virginia Tech. Wow, just what those kids needed. They've had just enough time to move on before you exploit a tragedy. Nicely done, Dave. Dave Matthews proclaims his agnosticism with the following quote: If there is a God, a caring God, then we have to figure he's done an extraordinary job of making a very cruel world." If find that amusingly ironic, becuase Dave's music makes me question God's benevolence. He produces ball-less, soulless drivel as he obediently sucks the corporate c**k to ensure that his pointless, shallow muzak stays on the airwaves. If you or a friend listens to Dave Matthews, it's not too late. Get out while you still can. If you value individuality, creativity, innovation, thought-provoking lyrics (or at least witty ones), then Dave is not your man. If we set aside our differences and unite in our rejection of Dave Matthews and his empty, regressive creations, then I foresee a future without wars, where the average man can make his own decisions without having them dictated to him via the government or television. As always, the power is yours. P.S. I'd like to ask any Christians (or Jews or Muslims or anyone with one or more God) reading this to pray for Dave Matthews to be struck by lightning, then fall into a pit of snakes before being impaled on a punji stake.

I havnt a clue who Dave Matthews is (thankfully, I think) but thats quit a rant.

^^^Godwin's Law.

Okay, I'm on Facebook a lot and everyone keeps talking about Dave Matthews, so I posted a rant. Here it is:

Dave Matthews is not an musician. The banal, uninspired noise that emanates from his instrument and throat is the very opposite of music. It creates an artistic black hole that sucks in creativity, originality, wit, and substance and crushes it with an unfathomably massive gravitational field. Every Dave Matthews song sounds the same. In the early days, his singing sounds like he is permanently trapped in puberty, with constant cracks. Now, he has "matured" into simply mumbling into a microphone like some Eddie Vedder wannabe. If you don't know who Eddie Vedder is you paid no attention to grunge (shame on you). How is being stoned convey depth? He has a guitar. I'm not sure why, because he doesn't play it. Now, some of you might think otherwise. To the untrained eye he looks as if he is playing. However, to anyone who has ever seen a concert featuring a band that truly play s from the heart and has spent years honing their craft into something that is both beautiful and challenging, Dave Matthews looks like a cymbal monkey hitting a guitar hoping it will make noise.

As if to prove my point, the mainstream music press loves them. Let me make something very clear, Rolling Stone wouldn't know good music if it bit them in the ass and fondled their nutsack. When Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath first hit the scene, RS blasted them for being talentless. Those two bands are essentially responsible for all hard rock and heavy metal that followed, be it Slayer, Slipknot, Dream Theater, HIM, or anyone else that plays abrasive music. However, Justin Timberlake and Dave Matthews are considered edgy and innovative? If you think JT or DMB is creative and original, kill yourself. Timberlake is a funny, cool guy but his music career is nothing more than an aspiration to be like Michael Jackson, only without the child molestation (not a bad goal, but hardly original). One critic actually called DMB progressive and complex. Calling the droning outpourings of Dave Matthews "progressive" is kind of like calling Taco Bell "authentic Mexican." People also praise his lyrics, which is insane because they're so insipid and meaningless. It's like s****y middle school poetry.

His bull  political stances annoy me nearly as much as his lyrics, but I have an easier time listening to his speeches because they don't feature his music. In traditional hippie fashion, he is an environmentalist, yet he owns an impressive amount of land that he annually tears apart in order to plant things he could easily buy in a store. The people who grow things to put in markets will always have their land, so why till more land, ensuring that trees and wildlife will never flourish there just so you can say you make your own food? His environmentalism took a hit when he dumped the band's crap over a bridge, striking a passing tour boat. Yes, it is funny. Still, I'd rather be covered in the s**t of the Dave Matthews Band that to have the putrid, vile slime that they create on stage sodomize my ears. Remember, real s**t washes off. S****y music stays with you forever, mocking you as you try to sleep, or work, or simply live. Now, he's playing a charity gig for Virginia Tech. Wow, just what those kids needed. They've had just enough time to move on before you exploit a tragedy. Nicely done, Dave.

Dave Matthews proclaims his agnosticism with the following quote: If there is a God, a caring God, then we have to figure he's done an extraordinary job of making a very cruel world." If find that amusingly ironic, becuase Dave's music makes me question God's benevolence. He produces ball-less, soulless drivel as he obediently sucks the corporate c**k to ensure that his pointless, shallow muzak stays on the airwaves. If you or a friend listens to Dave Matthews, it's not too late. Get out while you still can. If you value individuality, creativity, innovation, thought-provoking lyrics (or at least witty ones), then Dave is not your man. If we set aside our differences and unite in our rejection of Dave Matthews and his empty, regressive creations, then I foresee a future without wars, where the average man can make his own decisions without having them dictated to him via the government or television. As always, the power is yours.

P.S. I'd like to ask any Christians (or Jews or Muslims or anyone with one or more God) reading this to pray for Dave Matthews to be struck by lightning, then fall into a pit of snakes before being impaled on a punji stake.

Ivan_Melgar_M wrote: ^^^^  I agree.   Perú is a Catholic country (Near 90% despite the Evangelist and Mormon's efforts) so many preople placed a sign in their cars that said:   "I'm Catholic, in case of accident please call a priest"   I'm a Catholic also, but if you ask me I choose to live so I made a sticker (My brother in law designed this stickers) that said:   "I'm Catholic but in case of accident please call a doctor before you search for a priest"   Iván

mystic fred wrote: Prefects, Head Boys - the lowest form of pond life in my School, teacher's snitches ripe for a good thrashing in a far corner of the field - one HB was pelted with snow by the whole school, he turned into a walking snowman

Believe me. I was definately not Head Boy material.
What I think happened was, was the old story about the 'class comedian' not being bullied.

In my case, I used to settle arguments over music.People would come to me for answers to all questions related to music.Also;another sixth form collegue (now a fairly famous musician) and I had a Spike Milligan-esque patter going on.The bullies just thought that we were raving mad and left us well alone.Nobody took anything that I said in Head Boy mode,seroiusly anyway.
I think that the school was trying to be both progressive and was also trying to hang onto tradition.    

Edited by Man Erg - August 31 2007 at 03:59

Rants for the day...

Edited by mystic fred - August 31 2007 at 02:17

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Subject To Change, The Band thread... please, stop!

I've no idea why I'm ranting about it, but the m00dy n00bs thread was just as bad, do we really need another?

Nip it in the bud, before I get angry and start calling Jim, Barbara!


Edited by Geck0 - August 29 2007 at 23:21

^^or certified, even?

Man Erg wrote: Basically I was head of the Pupil Committee

Man Erg wrote: At my secondary school I was Head Boy* ...