Funny sections from PA reviews

Luca Pacchiarini wrote: I remember reading a review of a Novalis album where the reviewer said that "the music is so sweet that while listening to it, you can almost imagine a fairy in a forest giving you a b**wjob"   or something like that

"As this is merely the remix of five tracks from an album I have already reviewed, I will forgo a track by track description. Just take what I've already said in my initial review and add the phrases "electronic beats," "more noises," "additional effects," and "still stinks.""

Epignosis, Steven Wilson - NSRGNTSRMXS

I like this review by Progbear of First + Aid's 1977 concept album Nostradamus:

"Oh, waiter! I'll have an order of Well-Past-Its-Sell-By-Date English Progressive Rock. And could you garnish that with a side order of extra cheese?

"Of the small handful of "new" British prog bands that released albums after punk exploded, First Aid were easily the lamest. When you're responsible for the sort of portentous narrative recitations that even The Moody Blues had abandoned five years earlier, lyrics like "Nostradamus was his name/Seeing the future was his game" and orchestrated seven-minute suites that seem to repeat the same nine notes over and over like a litany, you know you're in Prog Hell!"

A scathing assessment but it really makes me want to go out and buy it!

By the way, some of us in Georgia want to take over just a wee bit of it. 

Ricochet wrote: "In the end, "Close" DOES have a meaning that I've discerned; it's about constipation! "I get up, I get down," "Close to the edge, down by the river." Get it? Way to take a turd, guys." (NOT Ian Anderson)

I've been by many rivers, but have yet to seen a turd floating in one.  Granted the banks of the Kentucky river near where it flows into the Ohio are very mushy.  The Ohio has much firmer banks in that area.


Edited by Slartibartfast - November 03 2009 at 14:50

Here's a couple of old, old threads where I had collected some classics (the threads are only in that section because it used to have a different purpose).

Edited by Easy Livin - November 03 2009 at 14:52

I have to say this may be offensive to certain reviewers, because maybe certain lines were not supposed to be funny...

One thing is sure: one has to concentrate to this album completely, otherwise it sinks into background only to disturb here and there. I have it as a scratchy vinyl: even the scratches are about to steal the show at times.

 

^^^^

I have probably put this in the wrong section ... or it may be a repeated topic ... but I did at least try a search (in both aspects) ... sorry for any hassle Admin guys.

Anyways, today I was listening to Anthony Phillips' The Geese and the Ghost and decided to scroll through some PA reviews ... when I caught the following segment of Matti's review I laughed til I cried because it somehow seemed so appropriate and yet really funny (its great album by the way)

One thing is sure: one has to concentrate to this album completely, otherwise it sinks into background only to disturb here and there. I have it as a scratchy vinyl: even the scratches are about to steal the show at times.


Was wondering what other really funny lines you've stumbled across when reading PA reviews?