cheesy jokes part 2... - Progressive Rock Music Forum

What's Winnie the Pooh's middle name?

The

'Like so many of you
I've got my doubts about how much to contribute
to the already rich among us...'

Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom

Okay, a bit long joke now:

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.

Almost immediately after that, her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says "Dark in here.
The lover says "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "Okay, how much?
Boy- "$25."

A couple of weeks later, as no one learns from history, the man winds up in the closet with the boy, under the same circumstances.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball mitt."
The man remembers the last time this happened and cuts to the chase- "How much?"
Boy- "$75"
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and play some catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy replies, "$100."
The father exclaims, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that! That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church, you need to go to confession."

They go to the church and the father takes the little boy to the confessional booth and closes the door.

Boy- "Dark in here."
Priest- "Don't start that sh*t again."

And another one:

One day, a boy told by a classmate that most adults have secrets, and an easy way to get money from them is to say "I know the whole truth", even if that's not the case. He decised to try the scheme at home and says to his mother, "I know the whole truth"
She quickly hands him $20 and says "not a word of this to your father"
Pleased, the boy waits on the front steps for his father and greets him with "I know the whole truth"
His father peels off two 20s and says "Just don't tell your mother"
Next day, the boy tries his luck with the postman, "I know the whole truth" he says as the letter carrier approaches the porch.
The mailman drops to his knees, opens his arms and says:
"Then come and give daddy a big hug"

"Music is much like f**king, but some composers can't climax and others climax too often, leaving themselves and the listener jaded and spent."

Charles Bukowski

A hurricane says to a coconut tree:

Hang on to your nuts! This ain't no ordinary blowjob!

"Music is much like f**king, but some composers can't climax and others climax too often, leaving themselves and the listener jaded and spent."

Charles Bukowski