Top 10 Annoying Things Prog Fans Do
- They will forget other types of music exist and drown themselves in 70's prog rock, or even worse, its stale, sterile 90's derivative. The worst cases like 80's prog best of all.
- They will be sure to correct you on your factual knowledge of whatever group you happen to be discussing. Especially if its some point of obscurity. Prog fans love to show how much more they know about their music than you do. I'll concede this point right now. I've done a lot of reading, but I'm not a lover of the obscure. So all you proggers out there, you win!
- They will certainly defend whatever group you don't like as being 'far beyond your comprehension', as if listening to music was equivalent to taking your SAT tests.
- They will certainly deride whatever group you DO like as being 'compromised pop' rather than 'true progressive music'.
-
They will defend against charges of pretension with statements like 'Can't you just free your mind and LISTEN to the beautiful music?' or 'They're doing something new and exciting here, you big oaf!' or something they forgot to translate from the Borg language.
-
Hanging out in mall restroom stalls looking through holes bored in the stall walls trying to see your dick as you're taking a piss.
-
Attempting to justify prog as being somewhat 'higher in culture content' than usual rock music, and thereby trying to place it on a plane equal to classical or jazz music.
-
Not giving you enough packages of hot sauce at the Taco Bell drive through.
-
Thinking Robert Fripp is justified in acting like a complete pompous jackass to his fans.
-
Still hold major grudges against punk rock.
And now the Top 10 Cool Things Hardcore Prog Fans Do:
-
They never steal your girlfriend or talk about how cool it is to lift weights to Wind and Wuthering.
-
Sit nice and quiet during shows so you can be heard clearly by the band while yelling 'Play 'Schizoid Man!!''
-
They don't bogart the weed.
-
Appreciate a good guitar solo when they hear it.
-
Are too busy renting 'MST3K' videos to take the copy of 'Taxi Driver' you wanted.
-
Suddenly become very submissive around metal heads or punk rock fans.
-
Can explain what exactly is the difference between 'Art Rock' and 'Progressive Rock'
-
Usually deride Rush as 'second rate' too.
-
You can borrow their albums and listen to them, thereby saving yourself the embarrassment of actually buying something called Gentle Giant in public.
-
Turn cool shades of red when you ask questions about Big Generator.
I didn't write these lists, so don't call me a genius or anything. http://www.capnmusic.org/yes.htm (So noone sues me or anything)