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Finnforest 
Special Collaborator 
Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 03 2007 Location: The Heartland Status: Offline Points: 16913 |
 Topic: Remain Seated or Stand?Posted: January 14 2014 at 18:59 |
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Hmmmmm......
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Finnforest
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 03 2007 Location: The Heartland Status: Offline Points: 16913 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 18:55 |
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Are you telling us you talk out of your ass?  |
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Metalmarsh89
Forum Senior Member 
Joined: January 15 2013 Location: Oregon, USA Status: Offline Points: 2673 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 13:20 |
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Isn't that what the toilet seat's for, sitting?
Although I'm sure sitting is a modern phenomenon. I'm sure a couple millenia ago people were standing, because they would otherwise have a messy scrotum.
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout Joined: May 13 2007 Location: Europe Status: Offline Points: 37575 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 13:16 |
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One savoury turn of phrase my Dad (bless him) was inclined to use after an "explosive" incident was "raking-out with a christmas tree"... that probably needs no explaining, but if it does, I'll just leave you with this image and say no more:
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What?
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Guldbamsen
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin Joined: January 22 2009 Location: Magic Theatre Status: Offline Points: 23104 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 10:56 |
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“The Guide says there is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams |
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caretaker
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 19 2010 Location: united states Status: Offline Points: 288 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 10:46 |
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This is the kind of topic that makes me proud to be a member of PA. Personally, I like to stand every now and then just to check things out but usually sit unless it's really explosive in which case I go outside and use the hose. Of course, in the old days we had an outhouse and chickens so it wasn't an issue.
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The Dark Elf
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member Joined: February 01 2011 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 13063 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 09:24 |
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I am equally mystified at the standing phenomenon. But I guess some guys sit while they urinate, which I find odd as well.
If you sit
To take a sh*t,
Why then stand
With wiping hand?
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...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology... |
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Metalmarsh89
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 15 2013 Location: Oregon, USA Status: Offline Points: 2673 |
Posted: January 14 2014 at 00:44 |
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I did too when I read the topic. I'm a sitter myself, and I'm trying to fathom how in the world you wipe standing up. I've popped a squat in the woods many a time (I'm a distance runner mind you, so sometimes it needs to be done) and I have to squat to the point that my cheeks almost touch the ground. It even got me a bad case of poison ivy in an inconvenient place, but that didn't change my method. |
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manofmystery
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 26 2008 Location: PA, USA Status: Offline Points: 4335 |
Posted: January 08 2014 at 23:52 |
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Was eating some cereal this morning. Upon finishing I grabbed my napkin and stuck my face down onto the bowl so I could properly wipe my face.
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 Time always wins. |
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VOTOMS
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 18 2013 Location: KOBAIA Status: Offline Points: 1420 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 13:52 |
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when i stand up, i spread wide my legs
the worst situation is that small piece of poop suspended between yr buttocks and it wont fall down, so you dance a little but in the end you will close your ass spreading the mud everywhere. It's a disaster.
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manofmystery
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 26 2008 Location: PA, USA Status: Offline Points: 4335 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 13:45 |
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If by spread out you mean mashed down on the seat hovering a few scant inches above filthy toilet water, an area that can only be accessed via some sort of keyhole sized gap between yourself and the toilet. Get up and give yourselves some space, people. |
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Time always wins. |
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VOTOMS
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 18 2013 Location: KOBAIA Status: Offline Points: 1420 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 11:25 |
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Yep
 it's hard when you feel like a jacuzzi or a champagne supernova in the bathroom
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 11:22 |
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I just give my bag to the nurse
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout Joined: May 13 2007 Location: Europe Status: Offline Points: 37575 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 11:05 |
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At least he didn't say he needed to do handstands in the shower.
(Montezuma will have his revenge)
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What?
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irrelevant
Collaborator 
Honorary Collaborator Joined: March 07 2010 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 13382 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 11:02 |
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Guldbamsen
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin Joined: January 22 2009 Location: Magic Theatre Status: Offline Points: 23104 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 11:02 |
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“The Guide says there is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams |
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chopper
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 13 2005 Location: Essex, UK Status: Offline Points: 20030 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 10:59 |
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Too much information there.
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VOTOMS
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 18 2013 Location: KOBAIA Status: Offline Points: 1420 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 10:47 |
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btw, i'm so hairy that i need to take a shower almost everytime i sh*t
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VOTOMS
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 18 2013 Location: KOBAIA Status: Offline Points: 1420 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 10:44 |
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Guldbamsen
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin Joined: January 22 2009 Location: Magic Theatre Status: Offline Points: 23104 |
Posted: January 07 2014 at 10:24 |
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Wow.......PA at it's most ridiculous/socially analytical? I've never in my life heard of people standing up to wipe their starfish....frankly, doesn't one squeeze the exact same underwater creature together, when standing up? I mean, when you remain seated, the cheeks are already spread out........wow that got nasty pretty quickly Sorry to all of you out there trying to enjoy your supper hah!I do know of toilets where you stand up the entire time. Like this picture only with two huge cement slabs to stand on, and the entire place filthy as hell. Not entirely unlike the one featured in Trainspotting. Man that was grosse  |
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“The Guide says there is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams |
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Remain Seated or Stand?
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manofmystery wrote:
I would not have thought the posture makes any difference, nor the direction of the wipe ... unless you are of the female gender of course.