Spam and Bull |
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Bj-1
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 04 2005 Location: No(r)Way Status: Offline Points: 31619 |
Topic: Spam and Bull Posted: January 28 2010 at 13:37 |
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Most of the alternatives here are hilarious, but all that penis/viagra stuff especially cracks me up everytime!
Edited by Bj-1 - January 28 2010 at 13:38 |
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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!
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Matthew T
Prog Reviewer Joined: February 01 2007 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 5291 |
Posted: January 28 2010 at 12:57 | |
Well it looks like I will finally have the Ocean front mansion with a dirty big Shark Cat ( Speed Boat)
Here the email is got it today and I have not this offer for a while, lucky me By the way its all mine that filthy lucra. just off to fill in the details for these trustworthy people, 5 mill in US currency
Dear Sir/Madam ,
This is to officially inform you that we have verified your Contract/Inheritance file presently on our desk. We found out that you have not fulfilled the obligations giving to you in respect to your contract payment. Secondly, you are hereby advised to stop dealing with some non-officials in the bank as this is an illegal act and will have to stop if you so wish to receive your payment immediately. After the Board of director's meeting held in Abuja, we have resolved in finding a solution to your problem. We have arranged your payment through our SWIFT PAYMENT CENTRE(UBA BANK). This is part of an instruction/mandate passed by the Senate inrespect to overseas contract payment and debt re-scheduling. You will be provided with access to an online account in which your funds, Five million Unites States Dollars($5,000,000.00); will be deposited. As soon as you have been provided with the online account details, you can login to the banks website and then transfer your funds to your designated bank account. If you like to receive your fund this way, Kindly reconfirm your (1) Your Full Name: (2) Full residential address: (3) Phone And Fax Number: (4) Age: (5) Occupation: We shall be expecting to receive your information as you have to stop any further communication with anybody or office aside our. NOTE : YOU ARE TO SEND YOUR RESPONSE TO THE E-MAIL ADDRESS BELOW, [email protected] Thank you for your co-operation. BEST REGARDS, Mrs Jane Stevens. Contact Email: [email protected] +(234)-806-615-4068 CC: CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA CC: SENATE PRESIDENT CC: ALL FOREIGN PAYMENT OFFICES CC: BOARD OF DIRECTORS [CBN] CC: ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION |
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Matt
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The Doctor
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 23 2005 Location: The Tardis Status: Offline Points: 8543 |
Posted: January 18 2010 at 14:15 | |
I just got one from the FBI that said that I had to get a document from the Bureau of Economic Crimes Unit to prove that the $1.5M transfer I'm getting from the Bank of Nigeria is not the proceeds of criminal or terrorist activity. The document costs $250. Failure to get this document and show it to the FBI will result in my eventual arrest and a long prison term. You know though the English was terrible. I would expect an FBI director to have better English skills than that.
Oh yeah, and I got one saying I could be her drillosaur tonight. What the is a drillosaur?
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I can understand your anger at me, but what did the horse I rode in on ever do to you?
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Matthew T
Prog Reviewer Joined: February 01 2007 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 5291 |
Posted: January 18 2010 at 13:45 | |
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Matt
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chopper
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 13 2005 Location: Essex, UK Status: Offline Points: 20032 |
Posted: January 18 2010 at 06:53 | |
You should have mentioned the "you've won £50 billion pounds in our lottery that you didn't enter, please send us £50,000 for the admin fee and we'll send you your winnings". I was reading only yesterday that someone was scammed £24,000 in this way. A few years ago, a woman not only fell for it and paid the money, but she actually flew to Holland to hand the money over.
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chopper
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 13 2005 Location: Essex, UK Status: Offline Points: 20032 |
Posted: January 18 2010 at 06:50 | |
You need to install the Mozilla Thunderbird email client and use its junk filters.
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The Pessimist
Prog Reviewer Joined: June 13 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3834 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 19:07 | |
Haha Have you seen the shirt that says "Excercise is highly addictive: DON'T START"? Your post kinda reminded me of it |
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"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."
Arnold Schoenberg |
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 18:25 | |
Hell if you drink enough high octane booze you can get ripped in a matter of minutes. |
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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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The Pessimist
Prog Reviewer Joined: June 13 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3834 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 14:26 | |
"Get ripped in 'x' weeks!"
Or other "get ripped" related adverts. One word: BULL sh*t |
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"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."
Arnold Schoenberg |
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Matthew T
Prog Reviewer Joined: February 01 2007 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 5291 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 13:51 | |
Dear friends,
How are you these days?I just came across a excellent website engaged in famous brand name items like Quality clothes,Watches,Sexy high heels,and lovely UGG Boots,they are designed in ultramodern or traditional styles and incorporating advanced technology, offering strength, resilience, and beauty.They are of great quality,low cost and good service.Best of all,they are now under sales promotion~! It is really a good chance for shopping. Just grasp the opportunity, Now or never! Visit (wto-store.com) Even I get Canadian Pharmacy down here at the bum end of the world Don't worry if sexual failure happens I will be right ( my get up and go hasn't got up and gone yet) and as for my money not an issue........luckily the bank emailed me and all I had to do was give all my bank account numbers and they said they would fix the issue. It was not a problem at all I just asked my Nigerian mine manager to forward them on for me
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Matt
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drummerpablo1
Forum Newbie Joined: September 16 2009 Status: Offline Points: 20 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 13:01 | |
Just to be ironic, my vote is on this site as the most originally advertised, for I don't think Ive seen an advertisement to this site, except perhaps from bands who are linking me to their reviews.
That's clever stuff. Also: "Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it's helpless to reach potential customers." --Randal Monroe |
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The Doctor
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 23 2005 Location: The Tardis Status: Offline Points: 8543 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 09:37 | |
I get all kinds of spam. the viagra adds are the most annoying, but at the same time come up with some of the more interesting subject lines. "Activate your night missile"; "Your pork sword will be ready for action" (never really thought of those terms for my pocket rocket before); "Women will be at your mercy" (are you trying to sell me viagra or a gun? ); "Your girlfriend will be happy" (why are you going to send someone to wash the dishes? ) .
Also, I love the scams where they say "My rich father who used to be president of the country of (insert name of African country here) was killed in a military coup and now I'm trying to smuggle $800 million of his money out of the country. Let me put it in your bank account -because I always trust people I've never met with that kind of money- and I'll give you half. This is perfectly legal and safe."
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I can understand your anger at me, but what did the horse I rode in on ever do to you?
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 07:48 | |
I've had my e-mail account for so long I don't even pay attention to the crap anymore. In fact it's getting kind of hard to find the e-mails I really need to read as I have signed up for some non-spams (if you know what I mean) also.
Edited by Slartibartfast - January 17 2010 at 18:25 |
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chopper
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 13 2005 Location: Essex, UK Status: Offline Points: 20032 |
Posted: January 17 2010 at 07:00 | |
What's Marty Crapper's shop, not come across that one?
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer Joined: May 15 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12294 |
Posted: January 16 2010 at 18:27 | |
I get loads of Nigerian Bank scams, but I got a Lonely Ukrainian Woman scam a while back. It was nice to see something different for me to laugh at in my Junk box.
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Raff
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: July 29 2005 Location: None Status: Offline Points: 24429 |
Posted: January 16 2010 at 17:57 | |
Being a woman, when I get the Viagra ads or the letters from lonely Russian women I can't help laughing... The Viagra ads translated into Italian with the help of one of those notorious online translators are particularly hilarious.
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A Person
Forum Senior Member Joined: November 10 2008 Location: __ Status: Offline Points: 65760 |
Posted: January 16 2010 at 15:23 | |
I once read an article in which the author corresponds with a spammer, telling this long, elaborate story throughout their emails.
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Padraic
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 16 2006 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Offline Points: 31169 |
Posted: January 16 2010 at 15:18 | |
I got basically a Nigerian 401 scam from Hong Kong the other day, very interesting
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A Person
Forum Senior Member Joined: November 10 2008 Location: __ Status: Offline Points: 65760 |
Posted: January 16 2010 at 15:15 | |
The Sleepwalker
Prog Reviewer Joined: February 03 2009 Location: The Netherlands Status: Offline Points: 15141 |
Posted: January 16 2010 at 15:13 | |
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