Uncyclopedia - Progressive Rock Music Forum

Here's what Uncyclopedia says about progarchives:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Prog_Archives

rotten hound of the burnie crew

Let's see what else Uncyclopedia says about prog:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Prog_Rock

(includes the following excerpt)

Symptoms of Progressive Rock

Symptoms include:

Brain Damage.
...subsequent Brain Salad Surgery
Becoming Schizoid, especially in the 21st Century.
Being Gentle (This symptom can only affect giants)
Listening to bands such as Pink Floyd, Yes, King Crimson, Kansas, Rush, Genesis etc.
27 minute song composition (or longer).
Keyboard solos especially where they do not belong (you heard me Emerson)
Playing bass guitar
...subsiquently taking over the band andtaking credit for everything the band has written
Not being American
Mandolins (see Mike Oldfield).
"Creative" hair stylings (see here).
A cape.
A wizard hat.
A cape and a wizard hat.
Interest in pirates.
Going down to Willow Farm to look for butterflies, flutterbies and gutterflies.
Getting wood when seeing old pics of Greg Lake.
Using an extended Vocabulary
Having Breakfast in America
Bill Bruford.
Dressing up like a killer garden gnome.
Getting your ass kicked by Sid Viscious, or kicking Sid Viscious' ass.
Being a talented musician wasting talents on useless music.
LSD.
Being mistaken for Art Rock
Being mistaken for Heavy Metal
Being mistaken for Avant-garde
Being mistaken for Symphonic Rock
Being mistaken for Jazz Fusion
Being mistaken for Psycadelic Rock
Being mistaken for Music that makes sense
Dreaming about Being an eskimo and loosing your vision due to someone rubbing a mixture of husky wee-wee (I mean doggy wee-wee) and snow into your eyes
Building walls during concerts... Big f**kin' expensive walls.
Your wisemen not knowing how it feels to be Thick as a Brick
Keith Emerson punching Elton John in the face.
Singing about moonlit knights and eclipses.
Spitting in fans' faces.
Calling The Shaggs better than The Beatles
The ability to understand EXACTLY what Peter Gabriel was talking about (Jon Anderson....).
Using big, fancy words that mean nothing.
Thinking about Modest Mussorgsky.
Drugs.
Pete Sinfield.
Mellotrons.
Touring with a saxophone player.
Naming a guitar effect after yourself... You heard me, Robert Fripp.
Summoning angels with guitar riffs (i.e. Steve Howe in Close to the Edge)
Summoning demons with drum riffs (i.e. Danny Carey in every single Tool song ever)
Analogue Synthesizers.
Time signatures unknown to mankind (for example only the shreddergod John Petrucci of Dream Theater knows how to play 69/420).
Starting to get hits in the 80's (which is quite scary for a prog-rocker, we're just not used to it).
Starting to talk about modern day warriors and today's Tom Sawyer.
Thinking that Winston Churchill dressed in drag, he used to be a British flag, PLASTIC BAG, WHAT A DRAG!
Dawn of light flying between the silent and self sources, chased amid fusions of wonder.
Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict.
Repeatedly stating that you will be there

If you feel you may be suffering from any of these symptoms we advise you to seek medical and psychiatric help immediately.

WARNING: Latest Research has shown possible links between the spread of Progressive Rock and Kitten Huffing. Remember kids, JUST SAY NO!

rotten hound of the burnie crew

I know this is old, but I don't know if you've seen it. Still makes me laugh.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/yes-lyrics-to-be-added-to-new-testament,966/

https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Printable Version Translate Topic
Stool Man Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: January 30 2007 Location: Anti-Cool (anag Status: Offline Points: 2689	Topic: Uncyclopedia Posted: March 26 2013 at 10:30
	Here's what Uncyclopedia says about progarchives: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Prog_Archives
	rotten hound of the burnie crew

Dean Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout Joined: May 13 2007 Location: Europe Status: Offline Points: 37575	Posted: March 26 2013 at 10:41
	Yeah, it was quite funny until the Shreddies f-ed it up.
	What?

Stool Man Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: January 30 2007 Location: Anti-Cool (anag Status: Offline Points: 2689	Posted: March 26 2013 at 10:59
	Let's see what else Uncyclopedia says about prog: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Prog_Rock (includes the following excerpt) Symptoms of Progressive Rock Symptoms include: Brain Damage. ...subsequent Brain Salad Surgery Becoming Schizoid, especially in the 21st Century. Being Gentle (This symptom can only affect giants) Listening to bands such as Pink Floyd, Yes, King Crimson, Kansas, Rush, Genesis etc. 27 minute song composition (or longer). Keyboard solos especially where they do not belong (you heard me Emerson) Playing bass guitar ...subsiquently taking over the band andtaking credit for everything the band has written Not being American Mandolins (see Mike Oldfield). "Creative" hair stylings (see here). A cape. A wizard hat. A cape and a wizard hat. Interest in pirates. Going down to Willow Farm to look for butterflies, flutterbies and gutterflies. Getting wood when seeing old pics of Greg Lake. Using an extended Vocabulary Having Breakfast in America Bill Bruford. Dressing up like a killer garden gnome. Getting your ass kicked by Sid Viscious, or kicking Sid Viscious' ass. Being a talented musician wasting talents on useless music. LSD. Being mistaken for Art Rock Being mistaken for Heavy Metal Being mistaken for Avant-garde Being mistaken for Symphonic Rock Being mistaken for Jazz Fusion Being mistaken for Psycadelic Rock Being mistaken for Music that makes sense Dreaming about Being an eskimo and loosing your vision due to someone rubbing a mixture of husky wee-wee (I mean doggy wee-wee) and snow into your eyes Building walls during concerts... Big f**kin' expensive walls. Your wisemen not knowing how it feels to be Thick as a Brick Keith Emerson punching Elton John in the face. Singing about moonlit knights and eclipses. Spitting in fans' faces. Calling The Shaggs better than The Beatles The ability to understand EXACTLY what Peter Gabriel was talking about (Jon Anderson....). Using big, fancy words that mean nothing. Thinking about Modest Mussorgsky. Drugs. Pete Sinfield. Mellotrons. Touring with a saxophone player. Naming a guitar effect after yourself... You heard me, Robert Fripp. Summoning angels with guitar riffs (i.e. Steve Howe in Close to the Edge) Summoning demons with drum riffs (i.e. Danny Carey in every single Tool song ever) Analogue Synthesizers. Time signatures unknown to mankind (for example only the shreddergod John Petrucci of Dream Theater knows how to play 69/420). Starting to get hits in the 80's (which is quite scary for a prog-rocker, we're just not used to it). Starting to talk about modern day warriors and today's Tom Sawyer. Thinking that Winston Churchill dressed in drag, he used to be a British flag, PLASTIC BAG, WHAT A DRAG! Dawn of light flying between the silent and self sources, chased amid fusions of wonder. Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict. Repeatedly stating that you will be there If you feel you may be suffering from any of these symptoms we advise you to seek medical and psychiatric help immediately. WARNING: Latest Research has shown possible links between the spread of Progressive Rock and Kitten Huffing. Remember kids, JUST SAY NO!
	rotten hound of the burnie crew

Dean Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout Joined: May 13 2007 Location: Europe Status: Offline Points: 37575	Posted: March 26 2013 at 11:08
	There seems to be a common trait of Prog parodies and that's labouring the joke. And to be honest, there is only one joke and its been in labour for so long now I doubt the punch-line will ever arrive. Edited by Dean - March 26 2013 at 11:08
	What?

Epignosis Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: December 30 2007 Location: Raeford, NC Status: Offline Points: 32541	Posted: March 26 2013 at 11:40
	I know this is old, but I don't know if you've seen it. Still makes me laugh. http://www.theonion.com/articles/yes-lyrics-to-be-added-to-new-testament,966/
	https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays