Music: family rivalry & rebelry

I find myself often thinking about this subject matter and therefore I felt it was time to elucidate some more about it in written form.  Do feel free to give feedback but it is not essential and I do not mind if I receive no replies whatsoever.  However, do bear with me here, as there are no questions to be answered, just some observations on my part.  If somehow else has experienced similar, then it would indeed be very pleasing to hear from you.

Anyhow, to the point of this web blog post.

Even though I have a quite varied music taste and I have music from many genres in my collection, I can still trace my musical lineage back to my parents music tastes.  I will fully acknowledge their tastes as influential on me, from the Rolling Stones and the British Blues boom, through to forays into more progressive music, such as The Moody Blues and Barclay James Harvest.  I can even remember the first full prog track I heard Yours is No Disgrace by Yes, from their The Yes Album.  However, I only ever heard it on a cassette tape and mostly whilst travelling on a car journey with noisy siblings.  It was also on a mix tape, rather than being on The Yes Album.

Anyhow, I digress from the above wittering and will now get to the point of this web blog post.

I find myself now still liking much of my parents music taste but I never delve into it and play anything in their collection.  The question I keep asking is, why?  A lot of what they listen to does not appeal to me (because their tastes have "matured") but much of I still can appreciate.  So why do I never take anything from their collection and play it?  I feel as if I am rebelling against them, or maybe it is some form of elitism.

As a slight aside, the same phenomenon happens in regards to my two elder siblings.  The eldest is a Pink Floyd and Mike Oldfield fan (as well as many others), yet I have had no desire to ever purchase music by either of them, even though I inherently do not dislike either artist.  Indeed, I actually enjoy much of Pink Floyd's music.  I have never even borrowed any of these albums.  Again, why?  Maybe there is some form of rivalry going on here, because I cannot really justify why this is the case.  Why do brothers and sisters, parents and uncles and aunts have such rivalries?  My siblings have good music tastes, yet we do not really share our music collections.

My middle older sibling has a closer taste in music to myself and generally prefers jazz and blues and really does not listen to much progressive rock.  His music tastes are lighter than my own.  Yet again, I like much of what I hear of his music, but when he brings albums round for me to listen to, I never really touch them, let alone play them.  I have lent some of my albums to him and he has listened to many of them, so this apparent "rivalry" is not reciprocal.

So in conclusion, I am therefore a bit confused at this apparent philosophical gesture on my part.  I am having difficulty understanding why I do not really share my families music tastes, when I actually do not mind most of it.  Will this attitude change when and if they go?  Will I suddenly have a craving to want to listen to their music?

Personally, I believe it is just because I try to be as individualistic as possible and this extends to my family as well.  I guess some inferiority complex dictates that I must be different to not only the majority of people (I am extending this not to just my music taste) but also to my family.

Comments are welcome.


Edited by James - May 05 2008 at 11:22

Maybe rivalry is the incorrect term to use.  We do not envy each others tastes.  My middle brother is the one who tries to get me into the music he likes and I know for sure sure that I will like it, because he knows my tastes, but I simply very rarely, listen to much he lends me and it just sits on the table until he reclaims it.  So it is not a rivalry really.

Thanks for the feedback, Linus, it is much appreciated.  Maybe I am looking to much into this and it's a more common phenomenon than I first suspected.

As I stated before, I do not believe it is a rivalry, because I really have nothing to rival about.  I try not to be elitist.  I like what I like after all, whether they are popular or completely unheard of.

The interesting difference, really, is comparison with my sister, who's more into modern indie/emo/metal music (and got into music a couple of years before I did, even if I'm a couple of years older),

Probably our single biggest overlap is on Rush, which she likes, but doesn't really know at all.

Spooky. Exactly the same for me and my sister.

I forgot to mention that I discovered one of my cousins like some noisy stuff like Sunn 0))), Melt-Banana and Boris and that was a nice surprise.

My mother's brother (therefore my Uncle), was into Pink Floyd and other prog back in the 1970s, whilst my father's younger sister used to like Yes and now seems to like Prince and other bizarre stuff.


Edited by James - May 04 2008 at 20:17

I've experienced something similar, but opposite. My father was a huge influence on my taste and got me into a lot of classic rock, heavy metal, and even some of the more popular prog bands (Yes, Rush, Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull). But, in the last couple years I've done my own exploring, and have tried to recommend him some similar prog bands from the 70s that he'd never listened to (KC, Heavier Genesis, etc.), and he said it was boring and didn't "rock" enough - in spite of him frequently listening to Pink Floyd and others. So, then I whipped out some stuff by The Mars Volta, and he admitted some was pretty good (some was still boring), but he never asked to listen to any of it again; much in the same way James was referring to.

Edited by Sckxyss - May 05 2008 at 02:55

My dad was a significant influence on my music tastes. He played a lot of Jean-Michel Jarre, Supertramp, Vangelis, Mike OIdfield and Pink Floyd in the car and at home when I was a little kid. I especially loved Supertramp (and still do) but dig those other bands as well. Notably Supertramp got me more interested in music and my music teacher in 5th grade introduced me to King Crimson and Genesis (he's a progfan as well), before getting me into Gentle Giant, Yes, ELP and even those more obscure and harder bands to acquire (VDGG, Henry Cow, Can, Gnidrolog). I can greatfully thank my dad and my music teacher for getting into prog and music in general.

It seems to me that my dad tones down his prog and classic rock when it comes around to my mom. On the other hand, my mom listens to disposable pop and watches American Idol and such and that influence clearly struck me, at least as a child. She raised me listening to the expected 'girly' music: Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears...horrors.

My sister and I had nearly the same tastes until a few years ago but now I enjoy tormenting her with what I love and she hates. I guess that's where the musical rivarly comes in. Although occasionally I try to pick out what she would like from my albums, wishing she could connect somewhere.

Thankyou for the input, everybody.  I think it is an age thing too.  I am 27 years young (or old) and so I suspect my tastes will mature, in so much as I will most likely want to hear melody over avant-gardeness.  Also, the more I explore, the less interesting stuff becomes in many respects, because it is treading familiar ground.  That is why Battles were such a welcome surprise, because they were doing something different, the same with the Math Rock of Ahleuchatistas and Upsilon Acrux.  They also have melody, unlike a lot of the stuff I listen to (like Ovary Lodge, for example).

I just hope that I do not plunge into easy listening territory.  I went to University with a guy who used to be into metal, like Metallica and in his final year, I asked him how he was and whether he was still listening to metal and suchlike and to my horror, he was liking pop music.  I guess people do change.

I have also read that Colin Moulding from the band XTC not only has stopped composing music, but has also pretty much stopped listening to it as well.  I guess people burn out.

Because of my recent mood and life experiences, music recently has not had the affect it used to have and even my beloved Van der Graaf Generator does not seem to appeal in the same way as it used to and that is not due to saturation on my part, because I have consciously decided not to play them that often, so I did not get sick of them.

I am sure I will rekindle my love of them properly soon but at the moment, it seems I listen to new stuff once or twice, put it on the backburner and then find something else I've not heard.  I find it extremely difficult to play an album more than a certain amount of times in a week.


Edited by James - May 05 2008 at 21:17

Yes, the amount of Best Of..., Greatest Hits type albums my parents have is shocking!  Most of them are cheap supermarket buys and some of them are even mislabelled.  They bought a Creedance Clearwater Revival album the other week and it turned out to be a covers band.   They have since brought a proper Best Of..., but still, that's parents for you.

My father gets annoyed with my mother as well, because he buys a CD for her and she never plays it.  Then when he puts her CD on for her, she wanders upstairs and sits on the computer all night.  So basically he rarely puts on CDs for her now.

I also never want to sell any of my CDs but I do know people do, yourself included, Mike.  I guess when I'm older I'll change my mind and decide some awful dissonant avant-prog I liked when I was 27, is just not for me at ages 60.