Yes: Dissing Its Fans

After its 2004 tour, Yes decided it would take a well-deserved 1-year hiatus. That grew into 2 years, then 3, and now...at least 4 years. At this point, the string of broken promises is increasingly disrespectful to the band's fans, among the most loyal in the world.

As Steve Howe himself said, "Yes has been sleeping in this kind of awful mode that I think is slightly disrespectful to our beautiful fans. I think that's really a shame."

In addition, if Yes ever makes another studio album - and that's a "BIG IF" - pun intended - it will be at least 7 years after the release of its most recent release, "Magnification."

The blame rests with Jon. And while it's not said openly, it's apparently because he's mad at Chris. Well, get over it. Chris has done a lot to further your career, Jon. The 5 Yes men have enjoyed extraordinary careers, and without their fans the members of Yes would be managers or farmers or truck drivers or longshoremen or whatever.

Rock stars often feel like gods, and of course gods are immortal. The members of Yes, however, are not. They need to wake up and contemplate the fact that the next time they hit the road, they'll likely all be in their 60s. The average life expectancy for a U.K. male is 75.29 years: roughly half die later, but about half die earlier. Either way, if Yes sticks to its current plan of reuniting in 2008 (don't hold your breath), Jon will be 11 years shy of the average life expectancy.

So while the clock is ticking, Jon works on about 2 dozen albums that will never be released, including a G-rap interpretation of Wagner's "The Ring", an acoustic version of Topographic Oceans performed by banging together stones from a Tibetan quary, and a 50-DVD animated multimedia project combining early skiffle demos, whale songs, and Jane reciting poetry to her cats. To kill time, Steve plays "Don't Cry," Rick releases an album a week, Alan opens for washed up C-rate AOR bands, and Chris, well Chris is in therapy for NMS (Nardelli Mistake Syndrome).

Yes has had a great run, and long outlived Genesis, ELP, etc. And it still holds a lot of potential, evidenced by the Keys albums, Magnification, and parts of The Ladder, as well as many terrific tours from 1997 to 2004. But the band needs to respect its fans. Yes should either start keeping its promises, or close up shop.

Hmm. I should scientifically pick a band apart. Sounds fun.

Wait, Steve thinks I'm beautiful? (sniff) I love you Steve!

Of course everything is Jon and/or Chris' fault...weren't they the reason for the two forms of Yes a while back? And where is Wakeman anyway?

And, wait, he's rapping an opera? Say, maybe ole Jonny's not as boring as I thought.