Forum Home Forum Home > Topics not related to music > I Have A Question For You......?
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - How to deal with difficult members on here
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

How to deal with difficult members on here

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>
Author
Message
AFlowerKingCrimson View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 02 2016
Location: Philly burbs
Status: Offline
Points: 18267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AFlowerKingCrimson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: How to deal with difficult members on here
    Posted: December 06 2020 at 10:45
What I would like to know is if someone is being less than  polite or respectful on here what is the best way to deal with it? I don't like the idea of these threads derailing and turning into personal attacks but at the same time it might not be necessary to just contact the moderators everytime someone is disrespectful. I guess the easy answer would be to just ignore them but then that could sort of be seen as giving them a free pass. Any ideas that might be helpful are appreciated. 

Edited by AFlowerKingCrimson - December 06 2020 at 10:57
Back to Top
rushfan4 View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Honorary Collaborator

Joined: May 22 2007
Location: Michigan, U.S.
Status: Offline
Points: 66260
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rushfan4 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 10:54
Under Post Options select "Report Post" and let an administrator take care of it.
Back to Top
AFlowerKingCrimson View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 02 2016
Location: Philly burbs
Status: Offline
Points: 18267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AFlowerKingCrimson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:32
Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

Under Post Options select "Report Post" and let an administrator take care of it.

That seems like a last resort to me where I would have to explain why I was reporting the person and it would probably have to be something pretty extreme to do that. I was looking for an alternative to this. 
Back to Top
rushfan4 View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Honorary Collaborator

Joined: May 22 2007
Location: Michigan, U.S.
Status: Offline
Points: 66260
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rushfan4 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:34
There's nothing extreme about it.  That is what the function is for.  Otherwise, either ignore them.  Or match their a****le-ness and risk getting yourself banned.
Back to Top
AFlowerKingCrimson View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 02 2016
Location: Philly burbs
Status: Offline
Points: 18267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AFlowerKingCrimson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:40
Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

There's nothing extreme about it.  That is what the function is for.  Otherwise, either ignore them.  Or match their a****le-ness and risk getting yourself banned.


Ha ha. Well, it's pretty difficult to get banned on here. You have to spam to have that happen it seems. 

Let me ask you this then since you are the only one responding here so far. How do you deal with inappproprate remarks? Do you shrug it off, insult them back, just ignore it or report them? I know it might depend on the situation but on average how do you typically deal with it? Just wondering.

Also, if you follow the posts on here and see the latest postings from myself then it should be apparent what post caused me to write this. 


Edited by AFlowerKingCrimson - December 06 2020 at 11:45
Back to Top
rushfan4 View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Honorary Collaborator

Joined: May 22 2007
Location: Michigan, U.S.
Status: Offline
Points: 66260
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote rushfan4 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 11:56
It depends on my mood.  I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment.  But I have no problem reporting posts.  When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities.
Back to Top
AFlowerKingCrimson View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 02 2016
Location: Philly burbs
Status: Offline
Points: 18267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AFlowerKingCrimson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:14
Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

It depends on my mood.  I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment.  But I have no problem reporting posts.  When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities.

Previous life as in on here under a different user name? 
Back to Top
Psychedelic Paul View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: September 16 2019
Location: Nottingham, U.K
Status: Online
Points: 40071
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Psychedelic Paul Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:19
Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

It depends on my mood.  I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment.  But I have no problem reporting posts.  When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities.
 
I was a forum monitor and site administrator too in a previous life when I used to run a music site (You Tube Episodes & Music), but I never felt the need to suspend anyone's account in the space of two and a half years, so I guess I must be easy-going by nature, and I've never come across any difficult members here either. Smile 


Edited by Psychedelic Paul - December 06 2020 at 12:20
Back to Top
AFlowerKingCrimson View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 02 2016
Location: Philly burbs
Status: Offline
Points: 18267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AFlowerKingCrimson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:43
Originally posted by Psychedelic Paul Psychedelic Paul wrote:

Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

It depends on my mood.  I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment.  But I have no problem reporting posts.  When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities.
 
I was a forum monitor and site administrator too in a previous life when I used to run a music site (You Tube Episodes & Music), but I never felt the need to suspend anyone's account in the space of two and a half years, so I guess I must be easy-going by nature, and I've never come across any difficult members here either. Smile 

It's rare but it does happen. Every once in a while I come across someone with a bug up their butt. It's often the same person. 
Back to Top
rushfan4 View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Honorary Collaborator

Joined: May 22 2007
Location: Michigan, U.S.
Status: Offline
Points: 66260
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rushfan4 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 12:45
Originally posted by AFlowerKingCrimson AFlowerKingCrimson wrote:

Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

It depends on my mood.  I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment.  But I have no problem reporting posts.  When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities.

Previous life as in on here under a different user name? 
Nope. I've always only been rushfan4.  Before they took away my title and made me an honorary collaborator.  I took some time away from the site one summer and was no longer a Site Monitor.
Back to Top
Atavachron View Drop Down
Special Collaborator
Special Collaborator
Avatar
Honorary Collaborator

Joined: September 30 2006
Location: Pearland
Status: Offline
Points: 65250
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Atavachron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 13:06
Walk softly and carry a big stick.   Or a sock filled with horse manure.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."   -- John F. Kennedy
Back to Top
Catcher10 View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar
VIP Member

Joined: December 23 2009
Location: Emerald City
Status: Offline
Points: 17846
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Catcher10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 13:36
Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

Under Post Options select "Report Post" and let an administrator take care of it.

I agree with Scott........best procedure, plus the Admins make like US$250K a year so they need to work sometimes....sheesh
LOL
Back to Top
AFlowerKingCrimson View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 02 2016
Location: Philly burbs
Status: Offline
Points: 18267
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AFlowerKingCrimson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 13:44
Originally posted by Catcher10 Catcher10 wrote:

Originally posted by rushfan4 rushfan4 wrote:

Under Post Options select "Report Post" and let an administrator take care of it.

I agree with Scott........best procedure, plus the Admins make like US$250K a year so they need to work sometimes....sheesh
LOL

If they make that much money I'm sure it's not from being an admin on here. WinkLOL
Back to Top
Logan View Drop Down
Forum & Site Admin Group
Forum & Site Admin Group
Avatar
Site Admin

Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Status: Online
Points: 35795
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Logan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 06 2020 at 16:48
It depends on you and the particular situation.

We rarely "deal with" members unless we have orders for organs. Organ harvesting can be lucrative, but there isn't a huge demand for Hammonds these days, which more Proggers seems to acquire (actually, we are not out to get the member's members or internal organs and actually not many Proggers have Hammonds. Seriously, of course this is voluntary and we get no remuneration).

If not formally reporting for abuse -- if one is then one should specifically mention the infraction per the site rules and guidelines and offer links -- I often like to PM the person to share my concerns. When I have responded in the heat of the moment by PM or in the forum without putting much thought into it, then often I have regretted it. I think calling someone out who is clearly deliberately being obnoxious or abusive is fine, just try not to break the rules when doing it, and it is good to wait until one is calm and collected. Sometimes ignoring works best. Sometimes one may be misreading another or missing a joke and a more charitable outlook, and inquisitive approach, is warranted.

I like as much as possible that the forum can moderate itself, and as much as possible to deal with things oneself, but in a reasonable and thoughtful manner rather than taking the law into one's own hands and meting out justice Reprisalizer style.

By the way, I'm rarely around these days. I can't think straight at all (serious cognitive impairment), so if this is not at all helpful, blame it on my brain.
Back to Top
ExittheLemming View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: October 19 2007
Location: Penal Colony
Status: Offline
Points: 11415
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ExittheLemming Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 07 2020 at 23:38
Disclaimer: I should have been banned countless times and was once (right at the outset when I was deemed to have been disrespectful to an Admin - TonyR. I have Finnforest (Jim) to thank for being reinstated so I owe him big time or: he has a lot to answer for Wink) He hasn't been around for a while so I hope he's safe and well. I was also an admin for about 2 years after that. That said, it strikes me that the place has become so moribund over the last 12 months or so that without the trolls, spammers, snowflakes, sock puppets, bewildered hippies and terminally needy there wouldn't be anyone left to actually ban. It stands to reason that behaviour inimical to the aims of the site if left unchallenged is unlikely to change so can run the risk of becoming normalised over time. I also think that a polemical writing style like erm...mine, is conflated with trolling but this is just symptomatic of a lazy association of ideas so pervasive with netiquette. How to deal with difficult people? Confrontation without aggression is the key and a very,very hard art to master. Kudos to the moderators and admins everywhere who try to strike this elusive balance.
Back to Top
Catcher10 View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar
VIP Member

Joined: December 23 2009
Location: Emerald City
Status: Offline
Points: 17846
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Catcher10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 09:08
Originally posted by ExittheLemming ExittheLemming wrote:

Disclaimer: I should have been banned countless times and was once (right at the outset when I was deemed to have been disrespectful to an Admin - TonyR. I have Finnforest (Jim) to thank for being reinstated so I owe him big time or: he has a lot to answer for Wink) He hasn't been around for a while so I hope he's safe and well. I was also an admin for about 2 years after that. That said, it strikes me that the place has become so moribund over the last 12 months or so that without the trolls, spammers, snowflakes, sock puppets, bewildered hippies and terminally needy there wouldn't be anyone left to actually ban. It stands to reason that behaviour inimical to the aims of the site if left unchallenged is unlikely to change so can run the risk of becoming normalised over time. I also think that a polemical writing style like erm...mine, is conflated with trolling but this is just symptomatic of a lazy association of ideas so pervasive with netiquette. How to deal with difficult people? Confrontation without aggression is the key and a very,very hard art to master. Kudos to the moderators and admins everywhere who try to strike this elusive balance.

Just checking, by "moribund" you mean dead right?? LOL
Back to Top
SteveG View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: April 11 2014
Location: Kyiv In Spirit
Status: Offline
Points: 20604
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SteveG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 09:16
^ Not deceased, but close. Dying.
This message was brought to you by a proud supporter of the Deep State.
Back to Top
Catcher10 View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member
Avatar
VIP Member

Joined: December 23 2009
Location: Emerald City
Status: Offline
Points: 17846
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Catcher10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2020 at 10:12
Originally posted by SteveG SteveG wrote:

^ Not deceased, but close. Dying.
Cry
Back to Top
progaardvark View Drop Down
Collaborator
Collaborator
Avatar
Crossover/Symphonic/RPI Teams

Joined: June 14 2007
Location: Sea of Peas
Status: Offline
Points: 51030
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote progaardvark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 09 2020 at 16:06
If we could upgrade the forum to upload odors, I would send one of my farts to the difficult member and then I would run into another topic somewhere else in the forum and hide behind a couch or something and giggle. Behaving like an adult isn't one of my best qualities. Wink
----------
i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions
Back to Top
Shadowyzard View Drop Down
Forum Senior Member
Forum Senior Member


Joined: February 24 2020
Location: Davutlar
Status: Offline
Points: 4506
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shadowyzard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 09 2020 at 16:15
LOL
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 4>

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down



This page was generated in 0.262 seconds.
Donate monthly and keep PA fast-loading and ad-free forever.