Death

Finnforest wrote: When I got home from work today, the old guy next door was sitting in his front yard.  He's in his 80s and has lived alone there since his wife passed 4 years ago.  He has never gotten over it.  They were soul mates.  He has no family left, and only one daughter who never visits.  So he is there alone all the time.  Today was a nice day and he was sitting out front.  So instead of going inside my house I walked over to say Hi for a few minutes.  We chatted about yard work for a minute and then he inevitably gets to talking about her, and he starts to cry.  He still is on the verge of tears constantly, 4 years later.  Almost every time we talk he cries. Today he told me the story of what happened in their final hours.  I don't know why he told me, but he wanted to, so I don't mind, I just listen.  She was walking to the car and collapsed.  (It was a stroke).  They took her to the hospital and she was barely conscious.  That night he was alone in the room with her when the Doctor came in.  Breaking the ice, the Doc says to him (my neighbor), "So, I hear you two have been married for 55 years!  That is really something!  How'd you manage that?"   Before he could answer the Doc, she pipes up from her semi-conscious state, and without opening her eyes, "I scratch his back and he scratches mine."     Those were her last words.  I don't think about death too much nor do I care to, and I disagree with Textbook's snarky comment that this means life is idiotic or worthless--not sure what compels such nonsense.   But anyway, I think at some point in middle age you just come to realize that chasing "happiness" is ultimately less fulfilling than learning contentment with what and who you have around you.  The precious moments of life are the little unheralded ones shared between people who love each other.  My neighbor reminds me often that it is the little, unremarkable things that are important and so missed.  Getting up together, sharing a coffee, laughing together.  I can only imagine what it must be like to lose that person after 5 or 6 decades.  I think the luckiest people around are probably those who die before their partner does.  Almost every time I see neighbor he tells me he wants to die.  He's ready to die.  Life is only good until its not.  Then it sucks.  Enjoy your good days folks.

My wife and I say "Something to look forward to makes life worth living."


Edited by Epignosis - October 11 2010 at 20:59

What I find weird is contemplating the death of your children. Obviously it's going to happen and ideally you're not going to be around to see it. Yet you want to know how it happens- how old will they be? Where will they be? What is their conclusion? Actually seeing your children die is one of the most tragic things there is, I'm not talking about a desire for that, but instead a desire to hang around as a ghost after your own death and observe them so you at least know what becomes of them. That you will never know the ultimate result of your child's life and thus whether it was a happy/good one is a pretty painful thing in some ways.

Closest I came to death was the day my daughter was born actually. Went home from the hospital by myself (not allowed to stay over in China) and had a completely ad libbed dinner of bread with peanut butter on it. Swallowed too big a piece, got stuck in the throat and genuinely couldn't breathe at all. I wound up crawling in the apartment hallway struggling to stay conscious, scratching at my neighbour's door for him to rescue me. I remember really thinking I was going to die. Fortunately it cleared and I survived to write this forum post. No angels singing or tunnels of bright light though.

Textbook wrote: Closest I came to death was the day my daughter was born actually. Went home from the hospital by myself (not allowed to stay over in China) and had a completely ad libbed dinner of bread with peanut butter on it. Swallowed too big a piece, got stuck in the throat and genuinely couldn't breathe at all. I wound up crawling in the apartment hallway struggling to stay conscious, scratching at my neighbour's door for him to rescue me. I remember really thinking I was going to die. Fortunately it cleared and I survived to write this forum post. No angels singing or tunnels of bright light though.   What a stupid way to die that would've been. I can imagine people giggling at the funeral.

I'd love to have people giggling at my funeral. Laughing out loud would be even better.

One put lots of thought into death, too

One thing I heard somebody say that I found simultaneously interesting and depressing was
"Where do you go when you die?  Same place as before you were born."

The T wrote: One of the final stages of proper psychological development is when, at old age, one comes to accept death.  I've not reach that stage yet. For now, I'll try to enjoy life which is too great. One day I'll start thinking about death. Not yet.

[QUOTE=presdoug] [QUOTE=JLocke]^ You know, it's odd you mention that. I almost drowned as a kid, also. But I remember being at peace as it was happening. ''At least I'll be in heaven,'' I remember thinking to myself. 



Edited by presdoug - October 11 2010 at 22:54

I don't accept gravity and I don't accept death.

All lies.

presdoug wrote: remember what Atomic Rooster said-"Death Walks Behind You"             maybe someone should start a "Death Poll'-Ha!             errie thing about that Atomic Rooster album is that two of the  members on that album are dead (and what ever happened to John Cann, anyway?)

Gambling Hans got three wishes and one of them was "a tree thta once someone climbs up in it, they can't get down without my permission." Now that's planning ahead. I like the way Gambling Hans thinks.